To think some people come on Mumsnet solely to be the utter bitches they can't get away with being in real life.

[SynchOrSwim]

I just see so many posts where people seem to do everything they can to make others feel as small and stupid as possible.

I know there will be disagreement and debate on here but some people are so unnecessarily nasty they're like panto villains!

Sorry for typos btw before I get "flamed' 😅

Absolutely some are. They are also facilitated by others who post about “problems” that are ludicrous.

Yes, I agree, some could cause an argument in an empty room!

The thing is, @ilovesooty how do you report something like ‘Yawn.’ It’s not a personal attack, but it’s really unpleasant. Or the sort of digs like ‘well my DC never hit anyone but then I told them no and made it very clear I wouldn’t tolerate it.’ Again, not a personal attach, but upsetting to be on the receiving end of and certainly not supportive.

Yep, definitely agree with this

I'm new here so not too experienced with the general lay of the land of MN but there were a couple of twattish responses in a money thread (energy related) yesterday. People are nervous about the very topical issue of cost of living - patronising high horse responses can piss off.

There was a thread earlier where the OP was saying she may be getting engaged at Christmas, some of the replies were awful to what was clearly a lighthearted thread.

Some people must live pretty shit lives that they feel the need to come on a forum to try and belittle others, it’s quite sad and pathetic tbh. MN has always been a ‘say it like it is’ forum, however, I do think people just come on to be nasty bitches a lot of time.

So why do you continue to use the site then?

I'd challenge that sort of thing on the thread I think. The "yawn" response is incredibly rude.

It's always been like that, in fact I think it's better than it used to be. When I first came on in 2007 I saw threads where the OP got a really nasty flaming and what made it worse was the cliques MN had then. Literally like playground bullies who dominated the boards and would make passive aggressive comments to eachother about the OP on the thread thinking they were hilarious. I think MN are more likely to remove posts and threads now too.

So true. It's the pious patronising posts that get me. Clever enough not to break TG but still unpleasant enough to be upsetting.
I've had my intelligence questioned continually in all sorts of sarky unpleasant ways. I would just not dream of doing that to another poster.

You can call it tone policing if you like, I call it expressing an opinion politely and this thread is literally about the tone of posts so…

So why do you continue to use the site then?

This is an odd question. Not every thread is the same. There's thousands of posters. We're talking about a minority of meanies.

The Internet. They comevyo the Internet to vent their powerlessness and rage at the futility of existence. Marx would love it

Because it's still entertaining and informative if you try to ignore the twats.

And this is the type of behaviour/reply the OP means. Who are you the MN police?

Ahhh I didn’t know there were loads of these threads, this is the first one I’ve seen for years. Thanks.

Yes I saw this thread, some posts were totally unnecessary!

The Christmas decoration thread is a prime example. Unbelievable what people will judge others for. Something has to be seriously lacking in one's life to let something so trivial upset them to that degree.

Ive been on the receiving end of some deeply unpleasant posts. I was pretty shocked at what was said about me and had no idea how to fend off the comments. I should have just walked away but felt I had to defend myself.
Eventually a kind soul took up the cudgel and went into battle for me.
I had only been on MN for a few weeks and had no idea where my post would fit. Made the fatal mistake of going on AIBU, a true vipers nest.

Exactly, it's not always what I would describe as an attack but smug, snide comments clearly designed to make them feel above the other person. Sometimes feigning innocence with an added mumsnet confused emoji (which I can't seem to find!)

It's annoying because the thread usually descend into chaos with people arguing, and then it gets deleted by MN for "not helping anyone at this stage".

Yes of course but I think its more complicated than it appears and the motives vary as a PP has said.

Some people just want to be nasty for the sake of it because they are upset about something else. Sometimes a post touches a raw nerve.

There are certain "red rag" topics which tend to make people emotional (SAHM vs WOHM threads and breastfeeding are the two that spring to mind). I think often people go onto those threads feeling defensive at the start because they are expecting someone to have a go at them for their life choices and possibly over-react when someone appears to be doing so. I know I have been really upset by certain casual comments on threads like this and have not always been as calm and collected as I would have liked.

I don't mind a frank exchange of views and am happy for people to tell me I'm talking rubbish if that's their honestly-held view. The thing I think is really unpleasant is when people make comments that imply a poster is a bad person based on one single throwaway comment. So for example a poster says they over-reacted and were unkind to one of their children in a heated situation and then people pile on and tell them they shouldn't have had kids as they obviously can't cope with them etc.

Yeah.

Calling people bitches is so nice!