Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my neighbour is being ridiculous?

186 replies

BlondeWaves · 12/11/2022 22:52

NC as a bit outing as can't imagine many people have had this discussion tonight. Hoping my neighbours aren't on here! I live in an end terrace. Get on really well with neighbours on the street. Neighbours who lived next door were lovely, used to pop in for coffee, would regularly have a glass of wine on am evening in the shared garden. They moved out recently and new neighbours moved in around two years ago.

I am a lone parent to a 4yo so my evenings are important to me. My son goes to bed at about 8:30 and wakes up at 7 every morning. By the time I've eaten, sorted stuff for nursery, made his packed lunch, cleaned etc it is 9:30/9:45 and I like to have a bath. Empty the bath water at around 10:30 then crawl into bed. This is probably 3x a week.

My neighbour came round today and asked on behalf of his wife that I don't have a bath so late at night as she can hear the water draining outside at 10:30. I was gobsmacked. I said pretty calmly that unfortunately I can't change the time I have a bath, as that's the time that suits me, at which point he asked if I could 'maybe leave the bath water in the tub until the morning and empty it then' (which obviously I can't do because my bathroom would go mouldy). I told him I had a phonecall (not a lie) and had to go but I'd speak to him later. AIBU to think that I should be able to have a bath whenever I want and that this is just part of living in a terraced house? For example I don't complain when their dog barks at 11pm or I can hear their TV at 2 in the morning, because some noise is expected.

I know, this all sounds a bit ridiculous but I actually feel awkward having a bath in the evening now. Never in my life had to worry about when I wash!

OP posts:
F0ggyM0rning · 13/11/2022 10:09

I've lived in terrace properties, it is common to occasionally hear various sounds.

They are being ridiculous to complain about your water. You could put on some music to cover up the water, but they will probably complain about that too

BobbyBobbyBobby · 13/11/2022 10:13

If they are bothered by water going I go a drain they need to get double glazing and perhaps insulate their walls unless they are out every evening in the garden, ear to your fence and listening for any noise coming from your home.

WilsonMilson · 13/11/2022 10:26

I cannot believe he had the bare faced cheek to talk to you about what time you have a bath. That’s beyond ridiculous.

You do NOT need to justify anything to him about why and when you have a bath in your own home. Mad, honestly batshit.

Don’t entertain this at all, in fact I would be very angry about the invasion of privacy regarding when you choose to undertake private activities in your home.

I’m a bit of a bitch when someone crosses me, so I would not only continue having a bath in the evening, but would also have a sudden wash that needed to be put on, and maybe a bit of hoovering needing done.

weRone · 13/11/2022 10:27

YANBU - it's life in a terraced house

and draining water sound is hardly drilling the walls etc at 10.30pm

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/11/2022 10:31

She sent him around to talk to you so she already knows she is being ridiculous.

Suggest you knock on the door, invite her for a friendly chat over a coffee or glass of wine (not him) and explain your situation and routine. And the fact you can hear their dog barking... and that you won't be leaving your bath full of water all night.

Idontgiveashitanymore · 13/11/2022 10:31

Tell them to fuck off and you will call the police for harassment.

thedancingbear · 13/11/2022 10:38

Tell them to fuck off OP.

Then have a series of extra loud dumps after 11pm, complete with performative straining.

It is, as others have said, part and parcel of living in a terrace.

ShellfishCrocodile · 13/11/2022 10:42

WilsonMilson · 13/11/2022 10:26

I cannot believe he had the bare faced cheek to talk to you about what time you have a bath. That’s beyond ridiculous.

You do NOT need to justify anything to him about why and when you have a bath in your own home. Mad, honestly batshit.

Don’t entertain this at all, in fact I would be very angry about the invasion of privacy regarding when you choose to undertake private activities in your home.

I’m a bit of a bitch when someone crosses me, so I would not only continue having a bath in the evening, but would also have a sudden wash that needed to be put on, and maybe a bit of hoovering needing done.

My kind of person 😂

BellePeppa · 13/11/2022 10:50

What an idiot he is to suggest leaving bath water overnight when there is a small child in the house! Carry on with your baths, his wife can wear ear plugs.

bewarethetides · 13/11/2022 11:00

"I'm a lone parent. I work full time. By the time I've fed him, spent a bit of time with him, given him a bath, put him to bed etc, that's almost my whole day taken up. And If I then want a fucking bath in the evening, I'm going to have a fucking bath in the evening. And yes, I will then drain said bath so my bathroom doesn't go mouldy to humour my ridiculous neighbours."

The perfect speech for the idiots!

And like everyone else, can't imagine how she copes when it rains at night.

BittenontheBum · 13/11/2022 11:00

Be prepared for a myriad of 'My wife says' to come.
He/she/they sound entitled fuckers.
I'm imagining 'can you take your child indoors between 2-5 because my wife is sleeping ' bollocks.
It's how this shit starts.
A firm NOT ON YOUR NELLY if he/she/they persist should do it. 🤞

mamabear715 · 13/11/2022 11:02

Ye GODS... :-0

placemats · 13/11/2022 11:12

Have you spoken to or seen his wife?

It seems incredibly suspect that he knows when you take a bath and when you are naked.

Obviously to say just ignore this is not the solution because he has spoken to you and put it in your head and he knows exactly what he is doing.

Personally, I would put on affirmation songs such as 'You don't own me' and 'I am what I am'.

Are there male friends or relatives you can talk to and invite round to go outside and have a laugh with?

Blueblell · 13/11/2022 11:20

Wow! That is rediculous

Blueblell · 13/11/2022 11:21

Start as you mean to go on with them - they sound a bit nuts

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/11/2022 11:23

That’s nuts. Smile, say no and carry on.

Tiani4 · 13/11/2022 11:25

And like everyone else, can't imagine how she copes when it rains at night.
GrinGrinGrin

She sends her DH to local places of worship to put complaints into the deities ...
Maybe even the local weatherperson on tv too...

SoupDragon · 13/11/2022 11:31

Have you spoken to or seen his wife?

It seems incredibly suspect that he knows when you take a bath and when you are naked.

no, I'm sure the wife is completely imaginary and thus the OP is only assuming she exists. 🙄 This is a huge reach even for the usual "it's a man so he must be a pervert" thinking.

pinkyredrose · 13/11/2022 11:32

If they ask again ask them to turn their dog/tv down.

Redup · 13/11/2022 11:38

insweetharmony · 13/11/2022 00:01

leave the bath water in the tub until the morning and empty it then' (which obviously I can't do because my bathroom would go mouldy)

eh?! How would that make your bathroom go mouldy?

This is the reason you need to dry out showers after every use etc. Leaving water in the bath would make the room damp.

chevvyroo · 13/11/2022 11:45

Good on you for saying you had a meeting. That's an excellent stalling tactic to think about "what the hell just happened".

Yep, no can do. You are being totally reasonable and as you said, you hear their dog and TV. Tell him this with a smile and move swiftly on.

RedHelenB · 13/11/2022 11:48

I don't think leaving the water would cause mould, bath water cooks very quickly.. Doesn't seem a bit deal to me to trial it anyway.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 13/11/2022 11:49

We had a neighbour who sent his wife around to complain, really stupid things e.g drill being used for a short time on a sunday afternoon, delivery man leaving radio on, my toddler walking across bottom of drive. Big celebration when they moved, our new neighbours have lived next door now for 20 years and have never complained about us.
I certainly wouldn't be bothered by a bath being emptied and i certainly wouldn't suggest that someone left the bath water until morning knowing full well a child was living in house.
Don't adapt, he will find something else to complain about and you will live on a knife edge.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/11/2022 11:50

RedHelenB · Today 11:48
I don't think leaving the water would cause mould, bath water cooks very quickly.. Doesn't seem a bit deal to me to trial it anyway“

not ideal leaving a bath full of water overnight when you have a typically curious 4 year old who will likely need to pee during the night. Way to tempting to climb in.

If the neighbour wants silence, she needs to move.

RosesAndHellebores · 13/11/2022 11:52

Oh op I sympathise. Decades ago when I had my first flat the unmarried older lady in the flat above told me that when I got home between 10 and midnight she heard the taxi and me opening the door and it woke her up and could I do it silently. I am not a noisy person.

I suggested if she were disturbed by normal noise she should use the back bedroom rather than the front bedroom. Evidently she didn't want to and droned on about noise again. I am afraid my steely 24 year old self said "if I wanted silence, I'd live in a detached house in a field, unfortunately this is London and we live in flats."

I probably ly shouldn't have said it, but she never mentioned it again and continued being pleasant in her own quirky way.

Swipe left for the next trending thread