to think my neighbour is being ridiculous?

[BlondeWaves]

NC as a bit outing as can't imagine many people have had this discussion tonight. Hoping my neighbours aren't on here! I live in an end terrace. Get on really well with neighbours on the street. Neighbours who lived next door were lovely, used to pop in for coffee, would regularly have a glass of wine on am evening in the shared garden. They moved out recently and new neighbours moved in around two years ago.

I am a lone parent to a 4yo so my evenings are important to me. My son goes to bed at about 8:30 and wakes up at 7 every morning. By the time I've eaten, sorted stuff for nursery, made his packed lunch, cleaned etc it is 9:30/9:45 and I like to have a bath. Empty the bath water at around 10:30 then crawl into bed. This is probably 3x a week.

My neighbour came round today and asked on behalf of his wife that I don't have a bath so late at night as she can hear the water draining outside at 10:30. I was gobsmacked. I said pretty calmly that unfortunately I can't change the time I have a bath, as that's the time that suits me, at which point he asked if I could 'maybe leave the bath water in the tub until the morning and empty it then' (which obviously I can't do because my bathroom would go mouldy). I told him I had a phonecall (not a lie) and had to go but I'd speak to him later. AIBU to think that I should be able to have a bath whenever I want and that this is just part of living in a terraced house? For example I don't complain when their dog barks at 11pm or I can hear their TV at 2 in the morning, because some noise is expected.

I know, this all sounds a bit ridiculous but I actually feel awkward having a bath in the evening now. Never in my life had to worry about when I wash!

This. TV at 2? Not reasonable. Dog barking at 11pm? Not reasonable. Water/normal bathroom noises? To be expected.

I agree with the many responses here which say ignore or they will soon be making other requests to suit them: don’t use your washing machine before 10am/don’t mow your lawn on certain days of the week/make less noise when you put your bins out plus dozens of others in the future concerning your 4 yr old.
but don’t argue. Completely IGNORE.

Apologise profusely and say that you’ll do your best to make sure that they don’t hear the bath water draining out next time.
Then turn up the music full blast when you pull the plug out
Problem sorted 🤷‍♀️

They sound like the type of people who're unable to see the difference between evidence of life next door and noise nuisance. So even if they hear your footsteps they'll deem that to be noise nuisance. This isn't going to be fun time, living next to them

Please tell me you had your Bath as usual, op? @BlondeWaves

She has a 4yr old sleeping

Please carry on op.and don’t think a second more on it. Do not let it ruin it tomorrow as you sit down to relax in your bubbles.please.
they aren’t blind.they know what type of housing they moved to.
you could have a bath at any time.4am if you wan to.your not going in and draining their bath.it’s yours in your home!
when something irks someone in the night they get angrier and angrily focus in it it from then on. If they just let it go they’d drop right off to sleep or carry on with their evening.

Having had batshit noise sensitive neighbours, I would say (assuming you are making standard amounts of domestic noise during reasonable hours), do not entertain their nonsense.

I had downstairs neighbours who would get so hysterical about me walking about and doing normal things, that they would complain about me and bang a broom on the ceiling.

What entitled fuckwits! That's normal neighbour noise! I would be calm and just say I'm sorry but my son is in bed then so I can safely have a bath. It can't possibly be noisier than your tv or dog barking, it's just normal neighbour noises.
Re bath water being left in 😳🤯 eeerrrr not with a 4 year old possibly wandering to the loo in the night!

I stopped using my washing machine late at night - about 9.30 as neighbour in flat below could hear it vibrating and he had some temporary mental health problems but a bath - no way!

How ridiculous. Enjoy your bath and shut the door in his face if he complains again. Leaving bath water overnight with a small child in the house is dangerous . he can jog on.

You are stuck with your neighbours so, personally speaking, I would try to be diplomatic in refusing to change your schedule but make some attempt to mitigate the noise. Reason being if they want to be arsey they can goad their dog to bark even more , turn the volume up of their TV at 2am especially if they know it irritates you, and maybe wakes your 4 year old. Just keep it general and say you hear their noises but realise that not all noise can be eliminated.

This shows you are trying to be reasonable without being a pushover. If it escalates keep records. I know someone who had a simple situation escalate due to how they responded and it caused years of petty battles and bad feeling on both sides.

For example I don't complain when their dog barks at 11pm or I can hear their TV at 2 in the morning, because some noise is expected.

I was feeling a mild, sneaking sympathy for them until I got to this point.

Get them tae fuck and make sure you let them know the above if they call back for further discussion.

Of course your neighbours are being ridiculous and I wonder if it is Mrs NDN who is upset or if its really him? I also wonder if they think they can bully you because you're a lone woman - would they do this to a man or if a man lived with you?

If they really have a dog that barks in the early hours that is far more unreasonable and next time they complain about your bathwater you could counter with 'I'm so glad you called round as I've been meaning to talk to you about your dog who was barking from 2 to 3 am this morning'.

I think you should comply with what he asks. You should let the bathwater out in the morning. 2am should do it. If he complains, just reply with wide-eyed innocence "but I inconvenienced myself to do exactly what you asked me to do"

I suppose it's possible they have unusual sleeping times due to night working or whatever, but in the normal way of things you wouldn't expect someone to be disturbed by a bath at 10:30 pm if they're watching TV until 2 am.

I do agree with others that if there is a simple, inexpensive way of making the drain less splashy you may as well give it a try. Failing that, the heck with them and their unreasonable complaint. I live in a fairly well soundproofed terrace but there are always neighbourly noises, including last night a car alarm that went off several times just opposite. People make noises. We can't all have our own desert island.

this is fantastically bananas, as a pp said, what about rain!!

we had a neighbour who was sensitive about noise, we tried to be nice and it escalated to receiving texts asking us to stop hoovering at 10am on a Saturday as they were ‘having a peaceful breakfast’. Or once when husband bounced a tennis ball on the floor, literally one bounce, around lunchtime on a Sunday. immediate text reminding us that it was a Sunday so we weren’t supposed to make noise. I’m still scarred from them, we’ve moved now and sometimes I find myself creeping round the house on tiptoes as forget they’re not there anymore!

Enjoy your baths! Ignore them!

It's a clear drowning hazard. Why prolong the risk?

What are you going to say to them OP?

This!!

10.45 is not exactly late! If you were doing it in the small hours then maybe. It's a ridiculous request!

@BlondeWaves you could see this as a blessing. They have now given you the perfect way to complain the next time you hear late night tv or dog barking. Whereas before you wouldn't have dreamt of saying anything! It is they who will end up tiptoeing around.

In the old days we used to have things called flannels. They let the water drain slowly. But you shouldn't have to!

Idoits. Maybe I’m over zealous but I wouldn’t have a full bath tub overnight with children in the house either.

I had neighbours like this for three years. He used to pop over in "only me" style, and tell me "the wife needed us to be quieter" etc.

The pinnacle of his irritating stupidity was when we realised the wall in our back yard was about to fall over. DH took it down because he didn't want it to fall on any of the kids who likes to play near it.

Neighbour races round and told us "you didn't want to do that" as though it was a choice, rather than a necessity.

I many stories exactly like that one. Eventually dh told him to fuck off but he was utterly impervious to his own stupidity.

I'll send them my neighbour that enjoys screaming sex sessions at all hours of the day and night, thumping loud music, drunk shrieking, toddlers roaming the flat at 3am dropping heavy toys on the ceiling, barking dogs, and an asbo ex partner that likes to turn up periodically to start shit. A draining bath would be like sound therapy to me at this point.