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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my neighbour is being ridiculous?

186 replies

BlondeWaves · 12/11/2022 22:52

NC as a bit outing as can't imagine many people have had this discussion tonight. Hoping my neighbours aren't on here! I live in an end terrace. Get on really well with neighbours on the street. Neighbours who lived next door were lovely, used to pop in for coffee, would regularly have a glass of wine on am evening in the shared garden. They moved out recently and new neighbours moved in around two years ago.

I am a lone parent to a 4yo so my evenings are important to me. My son goes to bed at about 8:30 and wakes up at 7 every morning. By the time I've eaten, sorted stuff for nursery, made his packed lunch, cleaned etc it is 9:30/9:45 and I like to have a bath. Empty the bath water at around 10:30 then crawl into bed. This is probably 3x a week.

My neighbour came round today and asked on behalf of his wife that I don't have a bath so late at night as she can hear the water draining outside at 10:30. I was gobsmacked. I said pretty calmly that unfortunately I can't change the time I have a bath, as that's the time that suits me, at which point he asked if I could 'maybe leave the bath water in the tub until the morning and empty it then' (which obviously I can't do because my bathroom would go mouldy). I told him I had a phonecall (not a lie) and had to go but I'd speak to him later. AIBU to think that I should be able to have a bath whenever I want and that this is just part of living in a terraced house? For example I don't complain when their dog barks at 11pm or I can hear their TV at 2 in the morning, because some noise is expected.

I know, this all sounds a bit ridiculous but I actually feel awkward having a bath in the evening now. Never in my life had to worry about when I wash!

OP posts:
Igotthegoose · 12/11/2022 23:11

We got complained about for using the shower late at night when it’s literally the only time my DP can shower. Oh having the dryer on in the evening

SarahSissions · 12/11/2022 23:12

“Oh trust me I don't plan on. Its on of the very few affordable pleasures I have in life!”

None of us will be able to afford to heat enough hot water for a bath soon, enjoy it while it lasts

unknown10 · 12/11/2022 23:14

Incredible

To drain a bath it's only a matter of what 3-4 minutes?

Tell him to fuck off

Fruitbatdancer · 12/11/2022 23:16

On a practical note if they hear it draining outside tell them to put a grate/ sponge over where it lands and it will lessen the noise.
but for gods sake don’t stop!!

BlondeWaves · 12/11/2022 23:23

Well I'm glad we are all in agreement!

OP posts:
NeedAHoliday2021 · 12/11/2022 23:27

No I’m not going to create a drowning hazard for your convenience you utter cockwombles.

PeloFondo · 12/11/2022 23:28

Grin honestly. Sorry I'm giggling away to myself reading this

I live in a small block of apartments and we have "no noise outside apartment" hours but even those are 11pm - 7am! Sometimes I hear my neighbour flushing the toilet at 3am, it is what it is

malmi · 12/11/2022 23:30

Maybe you could loudly sing "Splish splash I was having a bath" out the window to mask the noise of the water draining?

justcallmebozo · 12/11/2022 23:34

Oooh, cockwombles............ the adult version of the programme i used to watch when i was a kid?

autumnleavesontheground · 12/11/2022 23:38

Yanbu.
Tell him no problem, carry on doing it and when he complains again just say it’s your washing machine/dishwasher and you’re using it at that time of the evening because it’s cheaper. Can’t really argue with that.

Cynderella · 12/11/2022 23:41

I am a good neighbour - always nice to people, will take in parcels, feed cats, put up with noise etc. This is partly because we sometimes have music on a bit too loud, have had late night 'gatherings', have had building work done ... most of the time you wouldn't know we're here, but occasionally, well you would. And that's what I expect from neighbours.

So, if someone moaned about me putting washing out in MY garden, parking outside my own house, or having a bath, I would tell them no.

They are unreasonable. Yes, you should keep noise down, but day to day life ... they need to live with that.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 12/11/2022 23:42

What a bizarre request. I'd ignore and not respond. If he brings it up again, mention the child safety aspect.

Nip them in the bud or they'll be at you with something new each week.

Cuppasoupmonster · 12/11/2022 23:42

You’re having a bath, not blasting the Prodigy and jumping on the sofas 😅 carry on as you are! Nosy old git.

Fleurdaisy · 12/11/2022 23:42

Ignore them. Utterly barmy.
Don’t know if slowing the water release down would help —- you sort of half wedge the plug in so it empties more slowly. Had to do this when I was a teenager as the down pipe overflowed if you just pulled the plug right out and my parents were too lazy to sort it properly.
Please don’t leave the bath water in overnight with your little one in the house, far too risky.

Derbee · 12/11/2022 23:45

SarahSissions · 12/11/2022 23:12

“Oh trust me I don't plan on. Its on of the very few affordable pleasures I have in life!”

None of us will be able to afford to heat enough hot water for a bath soon, enjoy it while it lasts

What a depressing but thoroughly inaccurate comment. What is the point of a comment like that? So weird

Cuppasoupmonster · 12/11/2022 23:46

Please don’t leave the bath water in overnight with your little one in the house, far too risky.

Also this!

Problemoumo · 12/11/2022 23:54

It sounds as if your neighbours should have bought a house in the middle of a field, with no neighbours, not a terrace.
Although I expect the birds could be a problem there.

BlondeWaves · 12/11/2022 23:56

I'm a bit weird and quite like the sound of my neighbours pottering around. Makes me feel less alone. I'd be scared in a field on my own, but sounds like it's what my neighbours need!

OP posts:
insweetharmony · 13/11/2022 00:01

leave the bath water in the tub until the morning and empty it then' (which obviously I can't do because my bathroom would go mouldy)

eh?! How would that make your bathroom go mouldy?

IfOnlyOCould · 13/11/2022 00:02

You could easily let the bath water out slowly to minimise the noise?
Put a sponge over the plug hole so the water can't gush out. Also, as a PP mentioned either your you neighbour could check out the Dow pipe to see if there is something you could do to reduce the noise.

Mumsnetters are very into their rights but if it's irritating him and you can easily do something to minimise his irritation why wouldn't you?

Problemoumo · 13/11/2022 00:04

Yes come on, it's quite a cozy sound, water running at night. Nothing unpleasant. Next he'll ask you don't flush the loo?
We used to live in an old terrace and someone next door used their shower really early like 5/5.30 in the morning, it wasn't the water but all the klunks and bumps that were quite loud, resonated against the shower tiles I expect. Since it was against our bedroom and used to wake us we put up our own insulation as soon as we had the opportunity, not the neighbour's responsibility to have a shower only when it suited us!Confused

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 13/11/2022 00:04

Yanbu. What are your neighbours going to complain about next - the rain water running off your roof me down the drain pipe?? Utterly bonkers. @BlondeWaves Carry on having you nighttime baths!
I say that as someone who is in a terrace - and can’t hear her own bath water draining or either neighbours bath water. So give your neighbour some earplugs for Xmas!!

Whattodo182 · 13/11/2022 00:05

Oh God. I've just drained the bathwater from my baby's bath she had at bedtime and now I'm worried my neighbour is cursing me 🤣🤣🤦🏼‍♀️
You're 100% NBU 🤯

BlondeWaves · 13/11/2022 00:07

insweetharmony · 13/11/2022 00:01

leave the bath water in the tub until the morning and empty it then' (which obviously I can't do because my bathroom would go mouldy)

eh?! How would that make your bathroom go mouldy?

Leaving warm water in the bath to evaporate for hours on end making the whole room damp? Would definitely = mould.

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 13/11/2022 00:09

Carry on 🛁