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Original poster

Sliding into DMs

214 replies

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 20:41

I met a guy last night and there was a huge attraction- intense eye contact, lots of smiling and intimate looks.
There wasn't a chance to swap numbers - I can't go into why, but it was not appropriate.
He's a bit younger and I can see he has insta - should I DM him on there? I've never done this, I'm over 40 but he clearly uses inst. His profile is private but you can still message I believe.
Advice please??

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 13/11/2022 05:54

Except I'm after 🍆 not love

If that's the case....

"Tentatively, she slid into his DMs, hoping he'd vigorously slide into her."

Speedweed · 13/11/2022 06:02

User2145738790 · 12/11/2022 21:54

You know my first thought was this was a reverse because what woman says, 'sliding into DMs?" Not a reverse though, just a joke.
Imagine your mum eye fucking your teacher at Parents Evening. 🤢

This last sentence 100%.

Don't message him. The key bit of info that he's a teacher at your child's school means he'll see you again, and if he wants to make things happen (and isn't stopped by any professional conduct rules), he will.

If he doesn't, he doesn't want to. He might be finding it hilarious or a huge ego boost to watch you get all keen and excited by a mere glance when he means nothing of it. Maybe he does it to all the mums, some men are just like that, then - ego sufficiently boosted - he goes home to his gorgeous younger girlfriend and thinks nothing more of it.

ProperVexed · 13/11/2022 06:05

I'm clearly now very old.
Didn't know what a DM is ( like others thought Doc Maarten)
I've never been eyefucked ( sounds painful).And, although not mentioned yet as the OP has been sent to bed by his mum, I've never had phone sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm not missing out.

imSatanhonest · 13/11/2022 07:08

Problemoumo · 13/11/2022 02:39

I have an attractive friend, with large eyes,

😂

🤣🤣brilliant

albapunk · 13/11/2022 08:25

imSatanhonest · 13/11/2022 07:08

🤣🤣brilliant

Show quote history

I worded that wrong😅

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 13/11/2022 08:37

Do not do it OP. I was eyefucking a man I worked with for weeks (pre social media) and I finally plucked up the courage to ask him out. Ended up married to the biggest twat going. Save yourself from this eternal hell!!!!

AuntieSoap · 13/11/2022 08:48

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 21:32

I'm not going to do it. He is a teacher at my child's school so it's probably not wise

Oh God, it wasn't parent's evening was it?

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 13/11/2022 08:58

You absolutely CANNOT bonk a teacher at your teenaged kids' school, they will die of shame if anyone gets wind of it.

Gingernan · 13/11/2022 09:10

Romance is not dead is it, I think it's cremated too.

HelpMeGetThrough · 13/11/2022 09:14

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 13/11/2022 08:58

You absolutely CANNOT bonk a teacher at your teenaged kids' school, they will die of shame if anyone gets wind of it.

And you can guarantee it'll get out.

Someone spots school mum going to teachers house, or something similar. Before you know it, the school is full of "Mr X is shagging Y's mum".

LillyK · 13/11/2022 09:19

Am I missing something? I think the term 'eye fucking' is quite funny and shows OP has a bit of humour.

I personally don't see what you have to lose. Go for it! You never know what may happen...

LillyK · 13/11/2022 09:24

@ohyouknowwhatshername It's a term used to express messaging someone - usually used by the younger generation. Sliding into dm's can be expressed via Twitter of Instagram. DM means direct messages.

OmiOmy · 13/11/2022 09:39

OP, was the reason you couldn't say anything was because it was at parents evening?

imSatanhonest · 13/11/2022 10:10

@albapunk that's ok, it was the way @Problemoumo added those 3 pictures...love it 😆

Original poster
RealMousewives · 14/11/2022 12:02

Been thinking about this thread and how it highlights another mn double standard.
if I'd posted that I was standing up and felt a sleazy man's eyes roaming all over me, back and forth between my eyes, then back over my figure again for a prolonged time - 2 mins plus - and I felt objectified..... nobody would have questioned he'd done that. As women we KNOW when it's happening to us ans we all have a story about it.

But because I liked it and shyly looked down before meeting his eyes a couple of times.... I'm probably mistaken. Definitely sad and desperate.

I accept it shouldn't go further, but really fascinated by this idea that no, you cannot enjoy the overt male gaze because its always unwelcome or it doesn't exist....

OP posts:
hotandspicy · 14/11/2022 12:15

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/11/2022 23:40

Any woman? Including one more than a decade older who was attempting to 'eye fuck' you at work? Really?

Okay then.

Show quote history

Did I say any woman first of all? No I did not, It was said in the pretence of if someone had been flirting with eye contact and there was some kind of chemistry that they then managed to find my Social platform and send me a message id be impressed, not any random old person.

I think you need to calm yourself down with your aggressive tone replies,

God help the person that rolls into your DMs

beastlyslumber · 14/11/2022 12:21

RealMousewives · 14/11/2022 12:02

Been thinking about this thread and how it highlights another mn double standard.
if I'd posted that I was standing up and felt a sleazy man's eyes roaming all over me, back and forth between my eyes, then back over my figure again for a prolonged time - 2 mins plus - and I felt objectified..... nobody would have questioned he'd done that. As women we KNOW when it's happening to us ans we all have a story about it.

But because I liked it and shyly looked down before meeting his eyes a couple of times.... I'm probably mistaken. Definitely sad and desperate.

I accept it shouldn't go further, but really fascinated by this idea that no, you cannot enjoy the overt male gaze because its always unwelcome or it doesn't exist....

If you had posted about something different, then you would have got different responses, yes.

It's not a double standard. People thought you were grim and sleazy for wanting to have sex with your child's teacher.

MinimalPinimal · 14/11/2022 12:52

beastlyslumber · 14/11/2022 12:21

If you had posted about something different, then you would have got different responses, yes.

It's not a double standard. People thought you were grim and sleazy for wanting to have sex with your child's teacher.

Show quote history

What I described above is what happened.

stuntbubbles · 14/11/2022 12:58

Two minutes silent eye roaming but you couldn’t get his number and it wasn’t parents evening: sports day? Harvest festival? School play? Expulsion meeting?

OldFan · 14/11/2022 13:00

www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/4676718-too-horny Have you tried a Magic Wand vibrator @MinimalPinimal ?

I'm lucky I only tend to get ridiculously horny if I have mania/hypomania. It is unpleasant to have an itch you can't scratch.

Please make sure it doesn't get you into unpleasant situations.

beastlyslumber · 14/11/2022 13:01

Haha expulsion meeting!

Look OP, the whole thing is just utterly grim whatever way you look at it. If you want to "hook up" with random sleazebags, there's an app for that. Don't shag your child's teacher even if he is also a random sleazebag.

stopbeeping · 14/11/2022 13:05

Hahaha don't do this

Just not worth it

SadieMai · 14/11/2022 13:26

RealMousewives · 14/11/2022 12:02

Been thinking about this thread and how it highlights another mn double standard.
if I'd posted that I was standing up and felt a sleazy man's eyes roaming all over me, back and forth between my eyes, then back over my figure again for a prolonged time - 2 mins plus - and I felt objectified..... nobody would have questioned he'd done that. As women we KNOW when it's happening to us ans we all have a story about it.

But because I liked it and shyly looked down before meeting his eyes a couple of times.... I'm probably mistaken. Definitely sad and desperate.

I accept it shouldn't go further, but really fascinated by this idea that no, you cannot enjoy the overt male gaze because its always unwelcome or it doesn't exist....

There's some absolute bad cranks on here that NO MATTER what you say they will argue the opposite. A friend of mine posted on here a few weeks back and got absolutely slated for something, so a few weeks later under another user name posted the same situation but from the opposite point of view (as though she was the parent of the child that the original post was about), and it goes without saying how all the keyboard warriors had a completely different view on the exact same story but posted from the opposite angle! This place absolutely baffles me, and I often feel so sorry for people who have posted asking for advice because people are just so nasty

MadelineUsher · 14/11/2022 13:31

It's like a school of fish, often. One starts and the others follow...

NC12345665 · 14/11/2022 13:38

RealMousewives · 14/11/2022 12:02

Been thinking about this thread and how it highlights another mn double standard.
if I'd posted that I was standing up and felt a sleazy man's eyes roaming all over me, back and forth between my eyes, then back over my figure again for a prolonged time - 2 mins plus - and I felt objectified..... nobody would have questioned he'd done that. As women we KNOW when it's happening to us ans we all have a story about it.

But because I liked it and shyly looked down before meeting his eyes a couple of times.... I'm probably mistaken. Definitely sad and desperate.

I accept it shouldn't go further, but really fascinated by this idea that no, you cannot enjoy the overt male gaze because its always unwelcome or it doesn't exist....

Eh? Of course you'd get different answers to different scenarios. Confused
This isn't the "gotcha" you think it is.