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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sliding into DMs

214 replies

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 20:41

I met a guy last night and there was a huge attraction- intense eye contact, lots of smiling and intimate looks.
There wasn't a chance to swap numbers - I can't go into why, but it was not appropriate.
He's a bit younger and I can see he has insta - should I DM him on there? I've never done this, I'm over 40 but he clearly uses inst. His profile is private but you can still message I believe.
Advice please??

OP posts:
Lulu2171 · 12/11/2022 21:45

At the very least follow. Don't do nothing - how often does that proper spark thing happen?!

Wagsandclaws · 12/11/2022 21:45

Just here for the deletion message 🤣

ohmano · 12/11/2022 21:45

No offence OP but I'm cringing for you a little. I am 30 and I remember in my late teens/early twenties being sure that I had these magical 'connections' because we made a bit of intense eye contact. Most of the time it worked out fine and we were in the position where we could fuck and put it to bed.

However, at 30, I'm old enough and wise enough to know that sometimes we can perceive something as one way when it is the opposite. To be honest, every single person I speak to I could find some little sign that might suggest that they fancy me. For instance, I was delivering something yesterday to a gym I deliver to often. The (very, very attractive) owner came out and helped me with the delivery then invited me in for a tour of the new gym. After the tour he asked me if I was local then said they do a kid exercise class and that I should bring my daughter free of charge and winked at me. Now maybe in my early twenties I would have obsessed over this and thought it was a clear sign he liked me, however, rationally I know he's just a really nice guy that's passionate about exercise and he also has an extremely fit and attractive fiancé and I think no more about it.

Another situation is there's a young guy at my other job who makes quite intense eye contact and comes very close whilst speaking to me. Once again, in my early twenties, I may have misinterpreted this and acted on it, maybe send him a flirtatious message making a complete tit out of myself. Upon watching him interact with other staff members, he makes intense eye contact with them and stands close to them also. He also openly says how he loves to flirt with older woman for the attention but would never act on it. So I don't give it a second thought.

The fact you use the term 'eyefucking' each other is just ewww, especially if you're not 100 percent sure that was his intentions (which unless you ask him out right you can't be sure of in this situation).

I'd leave it, I'm doubtful it would come to anything and you risk making a right tit of yourself.

gotelltheoldmandowntheroad · 12/11/2022 21:46

Can he find you on insta?

FatGirlSwim · 12/11/2022 21:47

I am old. I opened this thread to find out how you slide into Doctor Marten boots without undoing the laces. Genuinely.

ohmano · 12/11/2022 21:48

monsteronahill · 12/11/2022 21:12

I really hope he's gone home and told his friends about the barmy older woman staring at him really intimidatingly and he was too scared to break eye contact 😂

OP you're sounding a bit unhinged in your later posts, you clearly thing you had such remarkable chemistry that despite being so constrained you couldn't talk openly that you had some sort of eye f**k fest, you're obviously going to do whatever you want to.

Hahaha this made me chuckle

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 21:50

gotelltheoldmandowntheroad · 12/11/2022 21:46

Can he find you on insta?

No I've a popular name

OP posts:
RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 21:50

Lulu2171 · 12/11/2022 21:45

At the very least follow. Don't do nothing - how often does that proper spark thing happen?!

Idk, more and more now I'm getting a bit peri menopausal 🤣

OP posts:
BlueWalnut · 12/11/2022 21:50

Just follow him and see if he follows you back.

MightyAtlantic · 12/11/2022 21:51

Haha if he's a teacher he 110% eyefucks the mums alllllll the time.

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 21:52

BlueWalnut · 12/11/2022 21:50

Just follow him and see if he follows you back.

I don't really want him to. I've got hardly any followers and crap feed. He has got 800 ish....
Just actually wanted a hookup

OP posts:
DrivingHomeForChristmaaargh · 12/11/2022 21:54

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 21:03

Everyone is objecting to the Terminology, but it's a tale as old as time. We fancied the fuck out of each other and communicated this without words.

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Eyefucked by a kid,
Into DMs she slid
Unexpectedly…..❤️

User2145738790 · 12/11/2022 21:54

You know my first thought was this was a reverse because what woman says, 'sliding into DMs?" Not a reverse though, just a joke.
Imagine your mum eye fucking your teacher at Parents Evening. 🤢

User2145738790 · 12/11/2022 21:57

DrivingHomeForChristmaaargh · 12/11/2022 21:54

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Eyefucked by a kid,
Into DMs she slid
Unexpectedly…..❤️

Beautiful. That brought a tear to my eye 😢

TooHotToRamble · 12/11/2022 21:58

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 12/11/2022 20:52

YABVU to use ‘slide into DMs’ rather than ‘send a message’

Yea I know that’s not what’s being asked but I truly think this is the worst phrase to come out the 21st century

I agree. It's really grim. Although "eye fucking" isn't much better. Almost equally as a grim an image pops into my head. 🤮

Claudia84 · 12/11/2022 21:59

Poorly executed OP

unknown10 · 12/11/2022 22:00

Sliding into DM's and eye fucking, you sound very common

Act your age

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 22:01

User2145738790 · 12/11/2022 21:57

Beautiful. That brought a tear to my eye 😢

Except I'm after 🍆 not love

OP posts:
RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 22:02

RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 22:01

Except I'm after 🍆 not love

Which might equally bring a tear to my eye.

OP posts:
RealMousewives · 12/11/2022 22:03

unknown10 · 12/11/2022 22:00

Sliding into DM's and eye fucking, you sound very common

Act your age

I'm not common, half of this language is tongue I'm cheek and I've got teenage kids so ....
I'm confused

OP posts:
Chailatteplease · 12/11/2022 22:03

monsteronahill · 12/11/2022 21:12

I really hope he's gone home and told his friends about the barmy older woman staring at him really intimidatingly and he was too scared to break eye contact 😂

OP you're sounding a bit unhinged in your later posts, you clearly thing you had such remarkable chemistry that despite being so constrained you couldn't talk openly that you had some sort of eye f**k fest, you're obviously going to do whatever you want to.

Did it feel good to take the piss out of a stranger who’s just excited about something like this?

so odd how people get their kicks 🤷‍♀️

Cosycover · 12/11/2022 22:05

This has to be a 15 year old troll surely with this language?

Judijudi · 12/11/2022 22:05

BagOfBollocks · 12/11/2022 21:02

He stuck his penis in your eye?

LTB

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

NC12345665 · 12/11/2022 22:06

Chailatteplease · 12/11/2022 22:03

Did it feel good to take the piss out of a stranger who’s just excited about something like this?

so odd how people get their kicks 🤷‍♀️

It's odder when people get on their moral high horse about people being mean to poor little trolls.

Ontobetterthings · 12/11/2022 22:06

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 12/11/2022 20:52

YABVU to use ‘slide into DMs’ rather than ‘send a message’

Yea I know that’s not what’s being asked but I truly think this is the worst phrase to come out the 21st century

My thoughts exactly. Makes me want to wretch

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