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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

***********TO WANT A POSITIVE BIRTH THREAD?**************

116 replies

auntilin · 29/01/2008 23:48

I'm sick to death of all the negative spin!

Giving birth is the most natural thing in the world, its what we were made for...

OP posts:
FioFio · 31/01/2008 11:21

This reply has been deleted

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Twiglett · 31/01/2008 11:22

Effie you don't need to rifle your vocab .. you can borrow my phrase

hunkermunker · 31/01/2008 11:22

I've posted before about having positive births, usually to pregnant women who are worried about horror stories they've been regaled with, but I won't be adding my experience to this thread.

It started badly with the pretty smug OP, it got worse with "piss off hippies" and the less said about "cuntardo" and "2shites" the better.

This is not a helpful, positive thread.

MrsCarrot · 31/01/2008 11:27

I remember the OP's post on a thread the other day. Someone was saying they were terrified of giving birth again after two bad experiences and their response was similarly constructive and empathic.

LardyMardyDaisy · 31/01/2008 11:30

Unreasonable to ask if you are being unreasonable!
There are lots of positive childbirth threads on here if you take the time to look in childbirth. However the reason you might see more negative threads is that if, like me and countless other women, you have had a traumatic experience, talking about it on a forum like this is just part of the process of coming to terms with it.

Perhaps a thread in childbirth titled "share your lovely positive childbirth stories here" would have been less confrontational.

auntilin, custardo may have been blunt, but surely no need for name calling . And why target 2shoes as well?

sweetbean · 31/01/2008 11:30

Had an amazing experience with my first !!!!!after crying nearly every day of my pregnancy i was so terrified about giving birth.

I'm now 23 wks preg and hoping that i can have the same exsperiance again i only had gas and air right at the end last time so it meant i got to go home the same day !!

Custardo

It said positive on the thread!!! so if you can't bring anything positive then don't type on here! im sorry that you have had the experience that you have, but you are very wrong to air your anger and disappointment at your own birth experience on this thread. Its not helpful for anyone!! I'm sure there of lots of threads going that you can vent your anger on without sullying this one.

needmorecoffee · 31/01/2008 11:38

its the OP's 'negative spin' that got me. Women need to hear both sides not just fluffy bunny stuff because if they then have a tough time or a stillborn or brain damaged baby they will feel like total failures if they think everyone else is getting some earth mother experience.
Its fact and its honest to say that birth can and does go wrong.

FioFio · 31/01/2008 11:42

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sweetbean · 31/01/2008 11:45

Yes i totally agree but this thread was to emphasis the positive in stead of us just having to listen to the negative but still as is the way on MN no one can respect that and so have to come on and say there bit even when there comments are unwelcome.

I would be surprised if there is a woman out there who hasn't heard to horror story of Fifty so it nice to hear good stuff every once in a while !!!!!!

mrsruffallo · 31/01/2008 11:46

I agree with Hunkermunker, quite unpleasant responses alll round

sweetbean · 31/01/2008 11:47

Fio Fio

I'm not being patronising just trying not to lower myself to name calling !

hunkermunker · 31/01/2008 11:47

SB, there are ways and there are ways though.

It's perfectly possible to talk about positive birth experiences in a sensitive way - and this isn't it.

FFS, putting the thread in AIBU for a start?! Confrontation CITY!

hunkermunker · 31/01/2008 11:47

(That's in Arizona, btw)

chrissnow · 31/01/2008 11:48

I think it was most likely the aggressive confrontational OP that made custardo post. Had it have been in childbirth/pregnancy with an OP of 'share your positive birth experiences' - then she may not have felt the need to post as I wouldn't. But to put it in AIBU and to be so inflammatory almost guarantees such responses.
Custardo - sorry to put words in your mouth if I am wrong (please don't hit me).

TotalChaos · 31/01/2008 11:49

sweetbean - what function of the "am i being unreasonable" topic do you not understand? AIBU is for discussion and diverse opinions.

hunkermunker · 31/01/2008 11:49

And to suggest women who've had less than ideal birth experiences [understatement] are sullying the thread - words fail me.

policywonk · 31/01/2008 11:49

I don't think everyone necessarily understands that if you put something in AIBU you are asking for a fight. Although I do think that the OP was unpleasant in this case.

MrsCarrot · 31/01/2008 11:49

I agree, sweetbean, that it is nice to hear postive stories, but the OP was antagonistic from the outset with its 'stop moaning and get on with it' subtext.

sweetbean · 31/01/2008 11:51

ok thats enough im off your all to game for a fight !!!

FioFio · 31/01/2008 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 31/01/2008 11:54

Milk of human kindness gone very sour here, I think.

Fio ^^ up there, underneath the thread title, near the watch and flip links, is a hide one. It'll show on your threads I'm on though.

MsSparkle · 31/01/2008 11:59

I don't see the problem in people sharing their bad birth stories. When i was pregnant i din't know anyone who had kids at that time and all the mums who's children were grown up kept saying "oh it will be fine" and "you soon forget the pain." I then had it in my head that giving birth was going to hurt but only as bad as period pain.

When i gave birth it was the most painful thing ever in my life and i was completly traumertised after and failed to bond with my baby because of the pain. I wish people had just said to me "look, it's gonna hurt like shit" then maybe i would have prepared myself for a bad experience. If i was prepared for a bad experience and it turned out good then great but at least i would have been prepared for the worst even if the worst didn't happen.

sweetbean, it sounds like you had a great birth experience which is great but in no way would you understand it when others didn't have such great experiences and want to talk about it. I'm sure if you had you would be telling people your horror story and until you've been in a bad birth experience you don't really understand.

Milkycheeks · 31/01/2008 12:09

Looked at this earlier as I was going to add my positive birth story but as it had descended into a slanging match i decided not to.

As a newbie to MN & motherhood, i've found this site very useful, informative, humourous & moving but this thread has left me feeling a bit, well, disappointed, to say the least

PennyBenjamin · 31/01/2008 12:21

This is the kind of thread which makes people leave Mumsnet.

I clicked on because I am pregnant for the first time and yes, frankly terrified about giving birth. I agree with the OP that most of the stories I read on here are horror stories about dreadful births.

Believe me, I am in no doubt that birth can be a horrible experience, and can go badly wrong - every man and his dog is keen to tell me that! But I still think it is important to go into the birth with a positive attitude - I don't approach anything else in my life with a "Oh God, it's bound to go wrong and be awful and horrible" attitude - I hope for the best and deal with anything else that happens.

I agree that the OP was a bit agressive, and probably posted in the wrong place, but the speed at which this thread fell apart was shocking.

I'm sorry if people had bad experiences, but there's no reason to attack those who are trying to be positive for being naive hippies! And absolutely no reason to use such abuse to respond to the person who did so.

Honestly, this is a forum for mothers - if your children were behaving like this you'd be sending them to their rooms to think about what they'd done!

Wisteria · 31/01/2008 12:22

Fio - just click hide at top of thread

Swipe left for the next trending thread