***********TO WANT A POSITIVE BIRTH THREAD?**************

[auntilin]

I'm sick to death of all the negative spin!

Giving birth is the most natural thing in the world, its what we were made for...

whenever you post a thread like this, there will be a proportion of women who feel

because despite birth being 'the most natural thing in the world' and 'it's what we are made for', they have had a hideous experience

so if you don;t want people to debate this, then you should have posted a thread in childbirth, inviting women to share their positive stories ( which has been done before ) rather than asking if you are being unreasonable

and as for the cntardo retort.. what is wrong with people? someone shares how their birth eneded in disaster and they get called a cnt? disgraceful

I think that yes as a first time mum I was scared by all the bad birth stories but in a way it helped because I didnt expect it to be a walk in the park and was aware that things can and do go wrong and it helped me look at my birth plan and consider all the options.

I was very lucky and had a fast and easy labour but if I hadnt I was prepared to allow whatever intervention to ensure ds arrived safe.

I dont think it is unreasonable to want to only hear about the good things but to be honest I think you are a being a bit naive with the whole "its the most natural thing in the world" attitude.

God forbid you do have a bad experience but if you did surely you would want to share it and warn others to warn them and to also be supported yourself?

and the 2shites remark

2shoes shares how she almost lost a child at birth and she gets called a horrible name

this thread is disgusting

no empathy, no sisterhood, just i am right and you are wrong

like mars, i love birth, support women through it ..... but i am savvy enough to know that birth is a life changing powerful experience that can cause huge happiness and empowerment or terrible depression and sadness

to dismiss that out of hand is naive and offensive.

women who have suffered birth trauma very often complain that their feelings are dismissed or ignored, precisely what you are doing here

Someone disagrees with you and they get called a cunt and a shite - what delightful women you are !

I really hope those of you making such remarks never have a trauma that you are left scarred by and wish to share it.
Heaven forbid someone should try to curse you with really unimaginative take on your username.
If it was anyone but Custy you'd have been deleted immediately I'd assume, but I doubt your remarks made her blink.
Pathetic.

YANBU to want a 'happy birth thread' of course not. It's nice to read happy stories (and there are a lot of nice birth threads out there). However a LOT of us go through a lot of trauma during birth. Without sharing the trauma with like minded people the stress of this can fester and cause real problems. Hence we talk about it with each other.
YABU and rude and ungracious to call people cunts and shites. Totally out of order.

Well I'm absolutely dying to get to know you two charmers better, Aunti and Nanny . And to complain about negative spin is remarkably witless.

Had 2 fantastic births- and one complicated with eclampsia, IUGR, and foetal distress that almost left both DS1 and I dead.

So whilst birth can be wonderful- can also be perhaps the most traumatic event of a lifetime and cause real issues- my sister still hasn't recovered from her premmie labour 4 years on, either health wise (on medication for life due to organ damage) or mentally (PTSD).

I'm in no way anti positive birth- this new one (am 7 months pg) due to be delivered at home with a doula presenta s well as DH and MW. But that doesn't invalidate any other experience, or mean that those of us who have had wonderful experiences shouldn't be damned grateful for it.

pathetic, childish behaviour on this thread. There but for the grace of God and all that.....

2shoes-

Custy- would offer you some but you'd probably twat me

Crap.

Didn't realise that my own experience is offensive to those that had a bad time.

It was what it was. Is this something else I should keep secret to make other people feel better?

What a load of boll.

Oh yes, and the names are uncalled for, agree.

god a thread of total up-your-own-arseness

sad that people are so blinkered that they feel there's in the only attitude that counts

LOL @ 'cuntardo' and response though .. truly LOL

their's not 'there's' sorry

I don't think you should keep it quiet NoBiggy - just maybe acknowledge that you were lucky to have good experiences (as you might well already do, I don't know!)

I agree that custardo was pretty rude to start with - 'fuck off hippies' is not particularly respectful of other people's experiences, is it? Are people who 'admit' to good birth experiences expected to take this sort of abuse meekly?

nanninurse and auntilin - who are you?

I've never seen such crappy attitudes. You are bang out of order. I was going to come on with my positive stories but can't be arsed now.

people love positive birth experiences

people empathise with negative experiences and offer solace and help

this thread is a nonentity

am really not surprised people have taken offence .. it's one of those 'if you can't do it positively you've failed' .. I agree with the 'fuck off' attitude tbh .. but don't think it's hippies .. think it's blinkered unempathetic, up-your-own-arse I'm the only who exists-ness

THe OP was contentious and provocative from the beginning - and what Twig says.

Only on MN should a positive so say thread dissolve into such utter crap. Why does it have to be like this?

NoBiggy dont feel a need to keep it quiet (dont know why you do, never did with my positive experiences)- just I think remember that for some who have had a dreadful time, their experiences will be very raw and painful, and we need to be inclusive in our attitude to birth.

birth is a wonderful thing when it goes right- and potentially awful if it doesn't.

noihaven't-

because it was in AIBU which is a section for debate and discussion: I suspect ahd it been in pregnancy or elsewhere then it woudl have ahd a different outcome.

I agree that the OP was unsympathetic, but not NoBiggy's first post, or Disenchanted's, rebelmum's, or mustsleep's, or indeed mine. Mine was the very model of reasonableness in fact .

You say that people love ot hear positive stories, but unfortunately I don't think that's necessarily true; a lot of women get very irritated at the bare mention of a good birth experience.

and surely Peachy, if I may just add, because of the strucure of the OP being totally without empathy or realism

have also reported posts

no, you don't hear so much about easy births (mione was relatively so) but dismissing incredibly traumatic experiences as 'negative spin' is a bit ... er ...

naive

childbirth is (statistically) one of the most dangerous experiences a woman will go through. Yes, for most it is fine but it can go badly wrong which is why we have medical intervention when necessary

I had 2 shitty pregnancies .. went blind in one eye in first, developed pregnancy-induced asthma and was hospitalised on second .. had 2 sections to preserve my eyesight

the positive spin is DS and DD

the negative spin is if I'd been built for it better I wouldn't have had problems

I wanted a water birth .. to go with my hippy tendencies

I got 2 surgeries .. 2 positive wonderful surgeries that resulted in fab kids

and I'd also offer a hug to Custy but I don't want to be decked so I will just say spot on as (nearly) always