to think that my carer has stolen a knife and a fork?

[ticktocktickboom]

FFS. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I realise how insane I sound.

Please tell me that I don't have a thief? I've been assigned a carer for a couple of weeks while I'm undergoing tests. I've noticed a knife and a fork is now missing (they come from an expensive set).

Am I going utterly insane or would somebody actually steel a knife and fork?

That's not funny. I'm not delusional, paranoid or hallucinating. Even if I was, your cheap shot is cheap.

No one said you were delusional, paranoid or hallucinating. Also didn't say that about my cleaners previous client either. Just making a point some people are so untrusting they assume it's 'the help' that steals rather than a simple misplacement.

It has hit me hard more so because I was very understanding of them and their religions (for example pork was an issue)

How many religions did they have?

Don’t worry too much about it. You’ve cancelled the contract and moving forwards what WILL help? It sounds like you need able hands to put everything away and get the house clean and straight.

I think I've missed something

Yeah. You know as well as I do that the implications being made here are that I have dementia or paranoia.

Your pretend innocence doesn't wash with me darlin.

From my OP, you can see that I was thinking that it was I who was deranged rather than being willing to believe that someone who I trusted in my home would steal from me.

Yes we are being paid, but this lady seems to be paying someone to do well, nothing for her and then complain about it. This is not a good working relationship for client and carer, and as a carer myself I am not paid enough to be accused of stealing a bloody fork. OP should just ASK her carer.

OP you’re not being rational, one knife and one fork out of a £160 set is worth maybe £10? £20? Plus there isn’t a huge black market out there for odd bits of expensive cutlery. As you said yourself, there’s more valuable stuff in your house if they wanted to nick something.

So you'd trust a man who lied to you or stole from you?

Forking hell OP.

Is this a nonsense post at this point?

OP of course you wouldn't trust someone who has stolen or lied to you, but you have no proof that this carer has actually stolen or lied to you, have you actually ASKED them yet? Or are you going to keep ignoring people who are suggesting you do just this first.

No I have not as I phoned the company and cancelled the contract. Liars lie.

Best of luck with your next one.

That's not what I took from those posts at all. I thought they were mocking the people who had accused their cleaners of stealing from them.

Though, of course, you'll know better than I do what I thought.

But how do you know the carer lied if you haven't actually asked her about it?

The tone of your posts and actions around this suggests that there is some mental health issues at play, as you have also mentioned you need emotional support. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate what you actually need from care staff and from a care package. I understand having people in your home is strange and unusual, and it's a vulnerable process building a relationship and trust with care staff, but your reaction to this is quite extreme, and coming across quite strange if I'm honest. I do think you make struggle with care staff again in the future if you aren't even able to actually discuss missing cutlery with them.

I've been unable to do much for months while I've been unwell so my house is in utter chaos. Being unwell physically and living alone means that I have not been able to cope. The cutlery is handwashed as I don't have a dishwasher.

The language barrier means that it's more effort than it's worth to try to explain things to them.

Your house is utter chaos, but you think the cutlery has been stolen.....

I've been known to steal one cup but only from people I hate.
So over 60 years, it's been a total of 3 cups. I like the cheapies like you find at a 2nd hand store. Most people have some of those.

Sometimes @ticktocktickboom - if you didn't laugh, you'd cry.

And she hadn't got tuppence to scratch her backside with, so no worries there.

If you don't trust your carers, don't have any.

If your house is in chaos, then maybe your knife and fork are in the disorder somewhere, hidden under a mountain of stuff.

If you hadn't sacked the woman you could have asked if she'd seen them anywhere, and to keep an eye open for them.

Nobody was implying anything of the sort - but your response suggests that you are certainly feeling badly-done-to. I'm sorry for that. You must be very lonely.

Get a CCTV camera if really think that. I don't think a carer would steal cutlery it's not something people would think as high value.

😂

Christ, I bet the care company is having a party you've dumped them. I just know you're on the phone every 5 minutes complaining, I've looked after clients like you, we refuse to go to you as it's not worth £9.70 an hour to be bitched about, lied about and accused of random shit like stealing knives and forks! Good luck finding another care company, trust me, word gets around about clients like you!

You sound so lovely and caring. (sarcasm)

Why are you in the caring industry when you don't appear to care?

I had a meeting with a manager from the company beforehand and I told him three things:

1. That they get paid and don't be docked pay if I am too unwell to have them visit. If they have showed up and I can't deal with anyone, they must still be paid.
2. That they understand that the work with me will vary from day to day. I sometimes just want to talk. Sometimes, I will need to have things done for me (I'm young relatively speaking, so it's hard for me).
3. That he doesn't send me people who bring religion into their work.

I know that I'm a difficult character to deal with. I would never mistreat someone though. I thought the manager had understood me, but clearly not.

It's incredibly difficult for me to give orders to someone in the first place and to have to give them in one word commands makes me sound worse. When they don't understand me, I have to get up and do it myself. It's a bit like having a husband.