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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my carer has stolen a knife and a fork?

260 replies

ticktocktickboom · 11/11/2022 22:58

FFS. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I realise how insane I sound.

Please tell me that I don't have a thief? I've been assigned a carer for a couple of weeks while I'm undergoing tests. I've noticed a knife and a fork is now missing (they come from an expensive set).

Am I going utterly insane or would somebody actually steel a knife and fork?

OP posts:
entropynow · 14/11/2022 14:32

Tessabelle74 · 13/11/2022 18:27

Christ, I bet the care company is having a party you've dumped them. I just know you're on the phone every 5 minutes complaining, I've looked after clients like you, we refuse to go to you as it's not worth £9.70 an hour to be bitched about, lied about and accused of random shit like stealing knives and forks! Good luck finding another care company, trust me, word gets around about clients like you!

This. Heartsink client.

ladydimitrescu · 14/11/2022 16:25

Happy ending for the carers at least!

Tessabelle74 · 14/11/2022 20:06

@ladydimitrescu amen to that!

MichelleScarn · 14/11/2022 20:26

ilyx · 13/11/2022 20:05

Why do you keep saying you’re a “difficult character” like it’s some disability you can’t control?! Just BE NICE TO PEOPLE. It’s not difficult!

Show quote history

Or like it's something to be proud of 'oh my x/y/z is such a character but the nurses/carers just love them'...... actually rarely true!

Mrsherdwick · 14/11/2022 21:05

@ticktocktickboom Please don’t refer to the carers as girls. They are women doing a hard, thankless, difficult job.

Mookie81 · 14/11/2022 21:10

BoredZelda · 14/11/2022 13:52

The language barrier means that it's more effort than it's worth to try to explain things to them.

Ahh! There it is!

Took a while but we got there in the end!
To be fair the comments about religion were also a clue.

sashh · 15/11/2022 01:50

Tessabelle74 · 13/11/2022 21:22

@ticktocktickboom I'm a great carer and I love my job, but why should we have to deal with people like you, that treat us as at best, an inconvenience and at worst, untrustworthy thieves? We get crap wages and even crappier conditions with a lot of firms, and occasionally dealing with people like you is an occupational hazard. Thankfully my company doesn't keep people like you on the books long, we have waiting lists for our services and we can pick and choose who we have to deal with and our company doesn't think we should have to put up with bad attitudes from clients. Like I said, your carers will be glad to never see you again. I hope when your knife and fork eventually emerge from your shit hole home, you at least come back here and eat your humble pie, but you don't strike me as the sort to ever admit you are wrong so I won't hold my breath

I know it is a hard job but you ARE an inconvenience. No one wants to rely on carers, no one wants to have strangers come into their house.

Yes you should be treated well I agree, but sometimes I'm a real bitch, not because I want to be but because I'm in pain and I'm angry that my body doesn't do simple things it used to.

I used to teach health and social care and I've heard some awful things said by carers about their service users.

One carer was intending to take her Bible to a Muslim person and 'show them the truth' and couldn't understand why that was inappropriate.

Tessabelle74 · 15/11/2022 07:15

@sashh I'm sorry you need carers, trust me, we know that no one wants to need us but we can tell when people are short with us because of pain, like you, or just because they're bitches all the time! I've been slapped and called all sorts of names at work, but I've never got upset about it as it was a reaction to pain or just not knowing what was happening. My worst client was when I looked after a girl with special needs, I used to take her out to garden centres, read to her at the library, get her mum's shopping when we were out whilst her Mum sat at home, we both enjoyed our trips as she was stuck at home most of the time, then another carer told me that her Mum was telling everyone that I was just taking her out so I could do my own shopping, that I was "laden down with bags" every time I was on duty! Now as a carer and Mum of 4, I couldn't afford to be "laden down with bags" even one time and that really hurt, I used to ask to work with this family as I thought we had a great relationship, after that, I refused to go any more, if she was talking about me behind my back with other carers, who knew what else she'd make up? The OP sounds just like this girls Mum, just a fan of the drama and I fully expect that she's calling the carers names to the other carers going in aswell as being a bigot

PoseyFlump · 16/11/2022 17:55

I actually believe @ticktocktickboom that a knife and fork have gone missing.

The carer escorted the OP to a hospital appointment then the OP showered when she got home while the carer didn't do any cleaning so it's more likely she was eating lunch and accidentally or deliberately mislaid the cutlery.

I still think it would have been best for the OP to ask the other carer for help who she knew wasn't there when the cutlery went missing rather than involving management. But all too late now.

I think OP has had a hard time on here and Hope you're okay.

Booklover3 · 17/11/2022 00:37

ticktocktickboom · 13/11/2022 19:54

Oh it did.

I tend to swear a lot (to myself mostly), and I tend to swear in frustration on telephone calls so they end up hanging up on me, so I emphasised to him that if they sent a religious person to my home, it wouldn't work. I don't care what you worship, once you don't expect me to abide by your rules of worship.

The manager came into my home with blue sort of plastic bags on his fancy shoes. They were not to protect my floor. They were to protect his shoes. I'm accustomed to dealing with these sorts of salesmen who have little knowledge of what their 'girls' actually do.

Show quote history

OP the manager didn’t wear shoe coverings to protect his shoes from your house. He put shoe coverings on in case you insisted he take his shoes off at the door.

When I worked in the community for the NHS this was standard. Lots of people ask you to take your shoes off to protect the carpets and keep everything clean (absolutely fair enough) but if you are adhering to your health and safety rules you aren’t supposed to.

If he took his shoes off in your home and injured his foot then he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on in regard to recompense.

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