to think that my carer has stolen a knife and a fork?

[ticktocktickboom]

FFS. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I realise how insane I sound.

Please tell me that I don't have a thief? I've been assigned a carer for a couple of weeks while I'm undergoing tests. I've noticed a knife and a fork is now missing (they come from an expensive set).

Am I going utterly insane or would somebody actually steel a knife and fork?

I would never mistreat someone though.

Did you not just accuse someone of stealing from you with no evidence (or even suggestion they might have) then lose them a job?

What explanation did you give the care manager about why you were requesting a change of carer?

You ever hear of circumstantial evidence?

It was the last conclusion I drew as I really had thought that I had built a good rapport with the women.

*I had a meeting with a manager from the company beforehand and I told him three things:

• That they get paid and don't be docked pay if I am too unwell to have them visit. If they have showed up and I can't deal with anyone, they must still be paid.
• That they understand that the work with me will vary from day to day. I sometimes just want to talk. Sometimes, I will need to have things done for me (I'm young relatively speaking, so it's hard for me).
• That he doesn't send me people who bring religion into their work.*

This didn't happen!

Oh it did.

I tend to swear a lot (to myself mostly), and I tend to swear in frustration on telephone calls so they end up hanging up on me, so I emphasised to him that if they sent a religious person to my home, it wouldn't work. I don't care what you worship, once you don't expect me to abide by your rules of worship.

The manager came into my home with blue sort of plastic bags on his fancy shoes. They were not to protect my floor. They were to protect his shoes. I'm accustomed to dealing with these sorts of salesmen who have little knowledge of what their 'girls' actually do.

I worked 48 hours last week and got paid for 34 of them due to the block pay system. This doesn't include the extra hours I put in as the care allocation doesn't cover the standard of care I want to provide. I also did extra to cover a medical emergancy unpaid last week. If I factor in the price of fuel (the mileage allowance is short by about £25 a week), wear and tear on my car and my business insurance I'm pretty sure I am well below the minimum wage. I do it because I absolutely love my job. Please be kind to carers as most of them really do go over and above the call of duty!

I've had carers in the past due to similar illness and a lot of them found it difficult to pay for the transport to get to where I live. They're not paid for that. I specifically asked said manager to ensure that none of the carers would be at a loss in terms of transport vs. work.

I still find it difficult to believe that the carer stole a knife and a fork. She seemed lovely, if a little work-shy. I would never have believed it of her.

I do have a camera in the dining room, but not in the kitchen.

This is precisely what I brought up with the Manager fellow. I do not want them working at a loss. Working with me is not terribly onerous but I'm a difficult character and I warned him about that. I thought that he had sent two perfect angels until, well, my knife and fork wandered off lol. I would far prefer to think that I'm imagining things or something than to think that one of the two girls, who I trusted with my life story, would steal from me.

Why do you keep saying you’re a “difficult character” like it’s some disability you can’t control?! Just BE NICE TO PEOPLE. It’s not difficult!

Perhaps I have more self awareness than you have.

Nobody has ever described me as difficult in my entire life 😅 I get on with all my ex’s, they’d all have good things to say about me, never had any issues at work. So I’m not difficult. I’d feel guilty if I was nasty to people, maybe you should.

You still don't know if they stole from you though, and given the fact the care manager had to wear shoe covers because of the state of your home means its probably likely they are hidden somewhere amongst the mess. It sounds like you are mostly using carers as a befriending service rather than actual care. We can and do provide emotional as well as physical help but you still haven't clarified what you actually want a care package for!?

You slagged the girls off for speaking English well, doing nothing to help you and reading a Holy Book yet you are now saying you thought they were angels and you trusted them?

Why have you STILL not asked if they took the cutlery ffs!?

I'm finding you difficult to deal with. There's a first for everything.

all my exes

That suggests a number of people who find you difficult.

I have been allocated 11 hours of care per week to assist me in looking after myself. Sometimes that can be bringing me to hospital appointments, sometimes it can be taking the bins out, sometimes it can be simply talking to me. They are not specified for specific tasks.

@ticktocktickboom

Why are you still avoiding the questions around actually asking if they stole or have even seen the missing cutlery? but answering other questions?

@ticktocktickboom I'm a great carer and I love my job, but why should we have to deal with people like you, that treat us as at best, an inconvenience and at worst, untrustworthy thieves? We get crap wages and even crappier conditions with a lot of firms, and occasionally dealing with people like you is an occupational hazard. Thankfully my company doesn't keep people like you on the books long, we have waiting lists for our services and we can pick and choose who we have to deal with and our company doesn't think we should have to put up with bad attitudes from clients. Like I said, your carers will be glad to never see you again. I hope when your knife and fork eventually emerge from your shit hole home, you at least come back here and eat your humble pie, but you don't strike me as the sort to ever admit you are wrong so I won't hold my breath

Who said innocent until proven guilty......

Your requirements from a carer and the fact your house is absolutely chaotic are not within the realms of normal care, more of these situations will occur, so it is good you have canceled the service. I would be unhappy to place a carer with you, when you accuse them of this type of behaviour, without even discussing it.

If your home is absolutely chaotic then most likely the cutlery is there somewhere in the chaos.

It sounds like you need a good friend more than a carer.

I have this picture of you living alone in a slightly crumbling large country manor house.

What explanation did you give the care manager about why you were requesting a change of carer?

I would hate to be a carer to someone like the OP.
Op is probably the type of person who would leave a tenner out in order to see if the carer would steal from her.
Op has accused someone of stealing a knife and fork but has not asked the carer . Just labelled this person a thief.
Op if you continue to behave in such a manner you may find yourself black listed.

Jut hope that OP didn’t tell the care manager that she suspected the carer of stealing.

The manager came into my home with blue sort of plastic bags on his fancy shoes. They were not to protect my floor. They were to protect his shoes

I'm almost scared to ask - protect them from what??

I haven't read the full thread (yes, yes I know, there is a perfectly common acronym for that but I try and avoid using acronyms...It's a weird personal thing of mine and no criticism of those that do). Anyway, I digress (already).

I lose SO many knives and forks (forks particularly) and it's nearly always when I've had a takeaway as I'll stick the fork down in whatever container the food came in and then forget about it. Occasionally the penny will drop and I'll open up a styrofoam tub and...hey presto!...one fork....Most of the time, not so much.

The language barrier means that it's more effort than it's worth to try to explain things to them.

Ahh! There it is!

Random knives and forks?

Cutlery can be a messy affair!