to think that my carer has stolen a knife and a fork?

[ticktocktickboom]

FFS. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I realise how insane I sound.

Please tell me that I don't have a thief? I've been assigned a carer for a couple of weeks while I'm undergoing tests. I've noticed a knife and a fork is now missing (they come from an expensive set).

Am I going utterly insane or would somebody actually steel a knife and fork?

It was very common to be given a fancy silver set for your wedding at one point.

A family member once had a cleaner steal a baking tray, it was an expensive one that my
family member had bought fairly recently. Turns out it was a test to see how quickly my family member noticed and if she suspected the cleaner. Because when it was noticed a few weeks later she put it down to baby brain and having maybe thrown it away by accident. So the cleaner went onto steal a diamond necklace and £500 of vouchers that were from my family members colleagues when she went on maternity leave along with other insignificant items of jewellery.

So yes it could easily be a test of how observant you are and how suspecting.

Maybe my kids came and hid them somewhere. Or ate them. Otherwise I have no
idea what happens to my own cutlery which keeps disappearing.

In all seriousness if they are missing then report to the care company. It’s not accusing her of anything but they will carry out their own investigation. I’d report her for being useless as well.

Whoever stole your knife and fork obviously doesn’t eat puddings. If your carer is skinny you’ve got her bang to rights!

I'm so sorry. Some people are scum.

I seem to remember you saying something about the house being full of valuables. If all she could think to take were a single fork and knife in the 20 minutes you were in the shower, you were very lucky! Or, and don't take this the wrong way, your memory is not 100% infallible and you have misplaced them yourself.

Can I just say - MOST carers wouldn't steal anything!

There is definitely a spate of cutlery crime OP.

We ordered 6 (v.expensive) forks from John Lewis and only 5 arrived.

Have you logged it with 101?

It certainly is.

Please feel free to be as foul-mouthed/typed as you like.

I am uncomfortable with it (and was in fact, quoting the poster I responded to who had made the same comment to someone else's mild joke upthread).

I'm fairly certain that censoring one's own posts is also allowed. Do feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Monica 😂

Ok I’ve only seen a small amount of the thread but my guess is the OP is worried if a knife and fork have been stolen then the carer will continue to steal from her? So it’s not just about a knife and fork?

That is precisely the worry.

Ha ha

There are only two things I don't tolerate in life and they are lies and thieving. I can tolerate anything else.

If you can't trust someone, there's no future in continuing any sort of relationship with them (I'm referring to any relationship you have).

Maybe they got carelessly scraped off a used plate into the rubbish/compost bin.

Check both, and of you don't find them just ask her "I can't find the other K/F in my favourite set, can you keep an eye out for them please? They look like this".

You've flagged up you notice missing items. With luck, they will mysteriously re-appear .

Meanwhile, keep your wallet/money/cards/bank details securely locked away.

They're extremely heavy as they have weighted handles so you couldn't mistakenly throw them away. It's a pain in the ass when you try to bring your plate from the dining room to the kitchen as the knife appears to think that taking a dive off the plate is entirely necessary EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME.

The brand is Sambonet btw if you think I'm lying.

My dd is a student and applied to do some part time home care work
I am totally against this as I fear that someone may wrongfully accuse her of stealing simply because they are suspicious of carers.

It seems to happen in this house. Cutlery never leaves the house and yet knives, forks and spoons seem to vanish into a black hole. It definitely happens less now that we have food recycling, probably because the food waste bin is too small to overlook lost cutlery.

I've done something similar recently without meaning to. Ate at an outside cafe and was given cutlery wrapped in a serviette when i placed our order. I put them in my bag to take to the table and one wasn't used. Gave the wrapped cutlery back and then found the fork in my bag when I got home. Tricky things, forks.

I am not suspicious of them. In fact, we got on quite well. I am very particular about how I do things, so I need them more for the very very basic stuff and also for emotional support (or that's why I've been granted the hours). We had chatted for hours on her previous visits. Ideally they would do some work while here, but their English isn't the best so I have to direct them. For example I asked her to put something in the bedroom and she brought it into the living room. While I was in the shower, my hairbrush is usually there to comb the conditioner through my hair but the previous girl had 'cleaned' the bathroom, so it wasn't in the bathroom and I had to shout from the shower to the living room (and interrupt her reading) asking her to find me a comb or a brush. Christ almighty, but I was having to shout from the shower about where to look and she couldn't understand what she was looking for or where to look so I had to explain, mid-shower, FOR HAIR, HAIRBRUSH.

I saw a funny post somewhere about missing cutlery and people concluded that they died and were reincarnated as coat-hangers! 😁

Paranoid much??

You don't know how many knives forks and spoons I have to replace each year! I have 4 kids living at home. I have no idea what they do with them
I have found them outside in the garden - at the bottom of the bin, behind the bin, in their cars, in their bedrooms. In random carrier bags even.
Ask her if she's seen the knife and fork anywhere as you're missing a set. ?

You sound like your home is not set up for living with staff/carers. So the first step would be to reorganise a little. Valuables should always be put away. I appreciate that’s harder with cutlery etc but you could ask them to wash it (silver should be hand washed anyway) and refill the canteen, or you could get a “kitchen set” that can be dishwashered to ease the load on everyone. Everything you need for a shower could be on a tray, as shouting for a hairbrush halfway through seems a bit much from both sides.