Cleaner had her DC there with her today

[changinglanesagain]

I've had my cleaned for about 3 months. She's really good. I really like her work

Anyway, I gave her a key last week and today I popped home for lunch unexpectedly. She had her DD there with her...

Apparently it's a teacher training day for them and so her DD had to come too. I asked why she couldn't reschedule to do another date or even better, come this evening?

She said she couldn't come this evening due to her DS coming home, he's disabled, and she'd just much rather not let me down for my allocated day so thought she'd just being DD along

I said okay... and that was that

AIBU to think she should've asked my permission first?

So not to drip feed, she was sat at my dining table doing colouring and had a few toys out

I would have expected her to ask if it’s ok. It’s your house you are paying her and you get a right to say how you feel about it.
I had a cleaner who asked to bring her sisters 6 month old baby with her as she was baby sitting while her sister went back to work. To my surprise it actually was ok. She would put the baby on the sofa where he would smile and gurgle or sleep while she worked just as hard as she usually did.

Hi @changinglanesagain FWIW I am in a position where my cleaner needs to bring her child. To be fair she asked first so of course I said yes. I’m a working mum and my employer needs to be flexible with me, so I can’t not extend that attitude on to my own. I’m assuming you don’t have children so can’t understand the predicament parents often find themselves in. She was probably too scared to ask you, her hunch was probably right as you do seem angry at her for no reason

She probably should have asked, but if not a toddler running rampage I wouldn't have turned a hair about it. Shit happens.

How old was the DD?

If you're happy for her to have a key I don't understand why this is an issue.

Apparently it's a teacher training day for them and so her DD had to come too.

Teacher's training dates are usually in the calendar from the beginning of term... this did not get sprung on her last minute.

You came home unexpectedly and were never meant to know about it. I find it sneaky tbh.

The only issue I might have is insurance, other than that I wouldn't mind.

@Stickstickstickstickstick I was just coming to say this. I remember all the horrible things my parent had to put up with.

Non issue.

Side note - I’m perplexed by the ‘no feet on furniture’ rule in a pp’s house. Must be quite a skill, sleeping with your feet carefully dangled over the side of the bed. Presumably in those little sterile plastic foot-bags.

It happens.

Less frequently than Mondays or Fridays perhaps, but it happens. Especially if the school are bringing in external training with limited availability.

I wouldn’t have been happy about it. Same as I’m not allowed to bring my kids along to work when it suits me. Just because it’s in your home doesn’t mean it isn’t a professional relationship.

A lot of people on mumsnet kind of act like if you employ a cleaner they’re doing you a favour and you should bend over backwards to appease them. They’re not doing you a favour - they’re doing their job, and unfortunately it’s not compatible with bringing your child into other people’s homes without even asking.

She should have checked. you cant just take your kids with you however well behaved they are.

Tell her how you feel so she can dump you and find a more reasonable client.

Perhaps she was let down at the last minute.

Wouldn't bother me.

She has an unstable job with a disabled child and another child... Crikey have some empathy. I doubt she wanted to bring her daughter.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Even the best behaved primary aged child can get up to mischief unsupervised. What if something had been spilt/damaged etc? If it was an older child it would still be nice to know. I’m quite a private person so it was just make me feel more comfortable knowing.

at least by letting the OP know, she knows who is in her home. I’d like to know who’s been in my home.

But ... It's not Thursday!

So she has two children, one with additional needs, to juggle and your judging her for allowing her child to sit colouring at your table while she works? It depends on the age of the child but I really don’t think it’s a big deal.

If I was her, I probably would have asked
If I was you, I definitely would not have cared

You normally like her work- i would let this go

Our cleaner used to bring her son in the school holidays when he was too young to be left at home.

The difference was that she used to ask beforehand and would make him sit in whichever room she was cleaning so he wasn't left out of her sight. He was a well behaved kid, but she didn't want to run the risk of him damaging or breaking something.

OP - you might want to check what her plan is for the school holidays.

I don't think its a case of being bothered or not. Its just common courtesy to ask first

It isn’t the child being there as such - it’s the cleaner making the decision for op on who is allowed into her home because she’d rather do it with her child there then rearrange. She should have messaged the op with the situation and asked if op would rather she brought her child or rearranged. Not just decided she could use her key to enter her employer’s home and let her child play there unattended because that suits her.

It would have annoyed me

Can't see the issue tbh. You sound very difficult and a bit unpleasant. I guess you can find someone else but you have someone who does a good job and who is reliable. What exactly is the issue?

WTF? It's not like her kid was running riot.