AIBU to not want a man and his son using girls changing rooms

[shatteredmama]

Took dd 7 for her swimming lesson, there are separate open plan girls and boys changing rooms (it’s in a school). Was surprised to see a man come in with his young son for him use the showers.

I felt uncomfortable with this, especially as the boy goes to the same school as dd. Also pissed off at the air of entitlement from the man. Couldn’t think of any valid reason for both males to use the girls room.

No other women in there batted an eyelid though. I’ve emailed the swim school to complain but not heard anything back.

Its left me second guessing myself and wondering if I’m making a big deal out of this, and given it was children only getting changed, not women, or the man thankfully!, does that make it ok??

This is very odd. The only possible reason I can think of is that the showers in the men's were out of order and staff sent him in there?

But I can't see any reason why on earth he'd be in there otherwise and it needs pointing out to the swim school!

I'm also very surprised that no-one asked him to leave!

He is an entitled dick and you’re right to let the swim school no. If it ever happens again tell the pervert to get fucked

I can think of a reason…

I’m used to communal, open, unisex changing. No need to get worked up over someone else’s opinion on the internet

A decent reasonable man would not have put themselves, and more importantly, you and other females in this situation.

Welcome to the current year and the constant pushing and pissing on of womens' and girls' rights and safety.

It must be a honest mistake.

Out of interest would it be acceptable for a man to go into the girls changing rooms with his young daughter (age 7/8)? Asking because I felt super uncomfortable about that situation after changing my daughter after swimming (bearing in mind that they’re naked) and spent the whole time trying to protect my daughter’s modesty. But not entirely sure which room he’s supposed to take his daughter in?

Really? You’re used to a changing room where men and women get naked infront of each other? I presume not in the uk?

Fucking hell. Cannot believe people are trying to make up excuses for him being there

. Oh maybe he accidentally went in there. Really? I know there are some really stupid prat’s out there but I would think they would realise when they saw females with Fannie’s and tits not cocks and balls.

oh other shower not working. Ffs sorry son gonna have to shower at home.

Don’t see the problem. They are clothed when they shower… Erm I don’t even know where to start with this moronic thinking that cannot understand the females are in a state of undress changing.

Seriously don’t you think we deserve our privacy when we use changing rooms? What fucking lesson is this shit sending to our daughters that they should be fine at exposing themselves to men just because their privacy and dignity doesn’t matter?

Good on you op for emailing a complaint.

Sex is a protected characteristic and it’s gone in far too fucking long that our rights that were fought for have to be fought for again.

This shit also has a detrimental impact on other religions (another protected characteristic) who if were in that room will be put off from going back.

Im not surprised no one said a thing. You’re that fucked in the brain to be there in the first place there is no saying you aren’t an abusive prick who would turn on someone. Because they clearly have no bloody boundaries when it comes to females in the first place.

A grown man shouldn't have been in there with his son as there's no reason for it. I think I may have said "do you know this the ladies?" But it's hard to tell what you would do unless in the situation. Well done for emailing the school.

However if I had to take my 6yr old son to a swimming lesson I would take him into the ladies with me so YABU if the little boy being in there bothered you.

@Sabrinasouffle a grown man should be in the mens even with a daughter. It wouldn’t be fair on multiple undressed girls and women to have him go in the female changing rooms. My dad used to take me in the mens when I was little. I was fine.

If he needs to go with her, he takes her to the mens. But personally, with my own children, their father would have let them go alone in to the girls changing room at 7/8. 8 is the Uk cutoff.

Great. This wasn’t unisex, but keep caping for those men who don’t respect women and girls spaces.💪

Yes not in the UK.

Funnily enough other countries manage just fine without the hysterics

When I took my sons swimming we would dry poolside and go into the loo to quickly get changed. Then home for a bath/shower. I would not be comfortable in a room full of half naked men.

Where on earth do you live?

Women wanting privacy for themselves and their little girls = hysterics

Obviously he shouldn't have been in there but honestly why would you not ask him what the fuck he was doing?

What country is this please ?

You do realise there is a difference between everyone knowing a changing room is unisex and going it to use it on that basis….

…. and a changing room that’s single sex, and used on that basis..?

I mean, it’s not complex.

I’m about as far as it’s possible to get from the UK, for the record.

I see we're back to 'other countries' doing it so much better?

I've lived in several countries. In none of them do men and women share changing rooms. Not saying it doesn't happen somewhere in the world, but it's not common.

Besides, if you're in a country where men and women have separate changing rooms, you don't just get to remake the rules to suit yourself.

I won't take my DCs anywhere there is communal changing. Communal showers (as long as clothed), fine. It's just the same as being in the pool. But cubicles only for changing.

I'd be very surprised if you get an answer.

Many here are very coy about revealing the 'other country' where people do things so much better, in this case much less 'hysterically'.

You also had the choice and prior knowledge knowing it was a unisex space. Unlike some bloke just barging into a single sex space.

when growing up in Thailand unisex changing was the norm, I’ve also lived in Hungary where this was pretty common (70% of the pools I visited) too

But if it’s not the cultural norm for the uk and someone does it can you really not see why their motives may be viewed with suspicion. Because generally in the uk it’s only perverts who try to gain access to spaces where there’s naked women without their consent. Wheras in Finland, etc there would not be the same suspicion but people really have to stick to cultural norms of where they are