What to do with male neighbour

[Deemarie11]

I'm 30 l live alone in a small terraced house. I've been living here for one year. Next door to me lives a man in his late 50s. We have nothing in common. We would say hello the odd time but thats it. The houses don't open right onto the street. We have a very small front garden, walls and gate each.

My front garden is very small, it's not something you would sit in. So I am only ever in it to mow my small lawn, paint the small walls etc.

Any time that I am EVER in my front garden, my male neighbour will come over right to my walk, to talk to me.

Last time I was mowing my lawn, he came out of his house, came over to my walk and started talking to me about something.

Today, I was painting my small wall in my front garden. He came over right to my walk and said "hey! I'm expecting a package. Will you take it in. They said they'd leave it with a neighbour".

I didn't want to but I said yes even though I didnt want to, as I was nervous and trying to get him to go away. He will probably be over to me later looking for it, which causes more stress for me.

I'm starting to be nervous every time I go out in my front garden, I kind of dash in and out as I know he will be straight over. He is creeping me out. I literally cannot go in my garden and do one simple thing without him coming straight over. It's giving me anxiety. If I saw my female neighbour across the road doing gardening, I wouldn't go straight over , lean over her wall and start talking to her. I know I would be intruding on her privacy. He does it every single time. It's really giving me anxiety. I don't know what to do.

With this update about the noise - move house.

You're not over reacting. Sometimes you can just tell.

Exactly this. ^ ALWAYS trust your senses and instincts. If the OP feels something is 'off,' and quite weird about this man, she is probably not wrong.

You sure can tell the women on here who have never been hounded and harassed by a weird and creepy man who won't leave them alone! Don't assume because it's never happened to YOU that it doesn't happen to other women.

The OP is stressed and upset about this man badgering her ... STOP fucking minimising her fears and worries!

Actually @OneTC it's his position that isn't the standard one.

Most neighbours give each other space, privacy and peace. Read between the lines, work out who wants chat and who doesn't and proceed from that.

His position of overengaging with her at every opportunity is very odd and disturbing, given that all she wants to do is a bit of gardening.

Fucking hell! 😂

Point proven I think!

I don't call in on anyone and expect to be invited in, nor do have randoms knocking on my door expecting to come in. I do however answer the door if someone knocks- sometimes it's the neighbour asking for a bit of help with her internet, sometimes it's the gardener coming to collect his money, sometimes it's a kid asking to get the ball they kicked over the fence, sometimes it's someone collecting for charity, sometimes it's a friend dropping off a gift, sometimes it's a parcel delivery, etc. Yet I've seen plenty of posters saying they ignore all knocks on their door- which is odd to me!

@Deemarie11 I totally hear you. You are not being unreasonable. I would get the property up for sale asap. Do you Carry a rape alarm or have you ever studied self defence? Might seem OTT but I would always air on the side of caution.
so sorry that you can’t relax in your own garden.

Thank you!

I have exactly the same thing OP, except it's my neighbour two doors down.

I have a gravel driveway and he keeps his front door open (directly into his front room) so he can hear when I drive in. Its so horrible. I have to run into the house to get away from him and repeat in reverse in the mornings (he listen's out for the sound of me unlocking the car). We're very close to town but I have to walk around the long way to avoid going past his house. He can talk for hours.

And yes, I have tried being directly rude to him (and completely blanking him) but I think he likes it and sees it as a challenge.

I plan to move in the spring and he's the main reason.

Have to say my ds used to feel very much like you Deemarie11 friendly to him was creepy and intrusive. He does not trust people and would prefer to be left alone though he has good friends locally and further away he is just very wary and selective in who he is pally with, and this especially applies to neighbours. he values his privacy. If you move you’re not guaranteed to get neighbours like your friend and even if you did, neighbours can move without a word of warning.

It’s not the job of women to solve random men’s unhappiness. He has the same access to the internet, hobbies, sport, colleagues, friends, online dating as the rest of us. His problem to solve.

😴

100% this, and what a laughable and pathetic response from @Cantthinkofausername01 to this post here. A bored, snoozy emoji. I wouldn't waste my time responding to their posts if I were you.

Also, @Cantthinkofausername01 is clearly a man. And one who assumes every woman should pay attention to him, and ask 'how high' when he says 'JUMP!'

I'm a women

Bored emoji was because I've already said stop tagging me......its boring. Im trying to get on with my evening and my phones is pinging every 2 minutes with emails from mumsnet.

I really couldn't get myself as worked up as you over a strangers post on the internet

@Cantthinkofausername01 ?

I 100% agree with this. The older I get, the more I'm assured my gut feeling is never wrong. One thing-if OP does decide to move, it's helpful NOT to have any problems with neighbours on record as it devalues your home.

@Cantthinkofausername01 turn your notifications off, you numpty.

Your a strange character. This is the 2nd time
Why do you keep quoting me with an '?'

It's weird. Please stop

Harsh! You've hurt my feelings, are you happy now?

Yes very

Goodbye 😊

Yes, @Cantthinkofausername01 definitely comes across like a “women” in this thread, can’t think what makes them seem like an angry, angry man.

Honestly, I'm a 36 year old woman with 4 children. Im not arguing with strangers on the internet anymore, its getting pathetic

Now please piss off and stop quoting me.

Also it's 'woman' not 'women' that's plural

Made yourself look like a right tit!

He says
I'm a women
no reason not to believe him 🤔