What would do at 49 if …..

[Mumof3teenagers]

….. you found out you were pregnant and your youngest was 14 years old?
I Had a pregnancy scare recently, I’m peri-menopausal, so period did arrive but very late.
It got me thinking, what would I do and I still don’t know!
So just putting it out there….what would you do?

I'd have had a termination. Imagine having a 10 year old at 60. Would be too hard.

I'm pro choice for every other woman on the planet and I'd never judge, but if it was me I just couldn't terminate. So I'd go ahead even though I'd be terrified.

Probably have the baby
But then again I'm not at that age yet so...

I really have no idea what I’d do!!!! Awful decision to have to make…..

I'd have had the baby. But that's my decision based on my situation and everyone is in a different situation, financially and health wise.

I imagine I'd have an abortion, but until I saw those two lines or a scan I can't say for sure.
My youngest will be 13 when I'm 49. Eldest 25 so I can't really see me wanting to start again but never say never.

My great grandmother got pregnant at 49. Her youngest was 12. Her eldest, my grandmother, was 24, and pregnant with my mum. The baby, my great grandmother's 10th child, was born when she was 50. My mother and her uncle are 2 months apart.

This was in 1949 so her options were very limited. Luckily, it worked out very well. My great grandmother lived until she was 100, so was able to see her youngest grow up and have a family of his own.

I'm 50. There's no way I could cope physically with pregnancy or a baby, not to mention the detrimental effect it would have on my existing family.

I’m 43 and my youngest is 1 so it’s not a massive stretch of the imagination for me. I’d go ahead with the pregnancy and hire a night nanny to cope with broken sleep (everything else, I can deal with but not sleeplessness).

I would be having a baby. I have had too many years of trying, too many rounds of IVF etc to ever imagine doing anything other than having a baby. I would have zero judgement of people making different choices.

I would have always thought it was straight forward for me too. I thought, yes, have the baby regardless.
That scare shock me a bit and I was fearful. Fearful of starting at the baby stage again, of being an older mother, of complications, of my mental ability to cope, financial ability to cope and the list went on and on …
I’m pro choice too but I thought I knew what route I’d take but now I’m not so sure.

💕

I’d have a termination. I’m 63 now. It would be hideous and so knackering to deal with the dramas of adolescence at this age. Plus teenagers are very expensive and even after a well paid career, retirement dramatically reduces income (despite the trendy notion that pensioners are all coining it in). Then there is all of the parent/taxi driving and collecting them at all hours until they leave home.

I’d terminate, no question. I’ve already got a child with a genetic condition and I know how hard it is to care for a child with additional needs. I wouldn’t take the risk and it wouldn’t be fair on a child that did need extra care or my adult child who isn’t independent yet. It was tough when I was in my 20s, no way I could do it again now I’m nearly 50.

Terminate.

My own father's mother was 50 when she had him, her last child.
I was also the last child, to a mother who wasn't that young at the time.
All Aunties and cousins seemed ancient.

Never met granparents, lost parents early.

I’d be mindful of the risks plus my kids would be in their 20’s. But not an easy decision.

I'm the same age and I would terminate now, despite having wanted another child when I was younger. No judgement at all towards older mothers, but if I found I was pregnant now, I'd be nearly 70 by the time that child became an adult, and DH would be mid seventies. I don't think I would want that for the child, quite apart from any impact that it might have on my own life.

I'd probably terminate. Too many fears about leaving dying or worse when the child is still a kid or very young adult

I am around that age and I'd be having the baby. I really don't want to get pregnant though!

An abortion. I could have managed a baby at 50, I could not manage a 15-year-old at 65 years old. I have two teenagers who are lovely, but I already feel too old to deal with the issues they throw up.

That’s roughly my current age and if I were to get pregnant now I would absolutely terminate. We definitely don’t have the space or money for another child, besides which my body is pretty knackered 😆 and I wouldn’t want another in any case.

I’m grateful every day for the two we do have and I already find it’s a full-time job giving them the attention and support they need.

Not quite the same, but at the age of 2-ish I ended up with grandparents who were then about 50. Obviously when I was little (and well-behaved), it seemed OK. But they had not thought it through and there were definitely financial conseqences - for them, and later, for me. Most of all, I think it ruined their planned retirement, as when that came around I was a teenager (with issues).

🤔

I personally would have an abortion in this case because I know that I would not cope with a high risk pregnancy or baby. I would be very worried about having an sn child. I know couples who have sn children and it very hard to deal with their needs.
I think as you get older it harder to deal with a baby or small child.

I faced almost this exact scenario not long ago. It turned out to be a ridiculously late period as does happen at this age. I already had all the information I would need to schedule a termination organized within a day of really starting to worry. I’m simply not healthy enough to take the risk of a pregnancy at this age. My responsibility is to be here for my child and get her launched into adulthood.