What would do at 49 if …..

[Mumof3teenagers]

….. you found out you were pregnant and your youngest was 14 years old?
I Had a pregnancy scare recently, I’m peri-menopausal, so period did arrive but very late.
It got me thinking, what would I do and I still don’t know!
So just putting it out there….what would you do?

Without a breathe to consider keep.

I'm not sure what your little face means? I am offering a perspective from the other side - that of the child of older "parents" (in my case). There have been many times I wish I had not beenborn into that setting.
I have also had a a child of my own, and also had a termination, although not due to age.

An extremely regretful termination I imagine.

My partner and I stopped using contraception when I was 47 with the understanding that should a miracle pregnancy happen, I would not be continuing with it. Youngest 2 (of 4) were 14 at the time. Just no, no, NO.

Is that to me..? If so, the answer is yes x 1000. It was very hush hush at the time - and is only recently that people seem to talk more openly about it - sadly, and fr many wrong reasons. I included it in my comment, to "prove" that I have experience of keeping/not keeping and my own background, which coloured everything - and was affected quite a lot by their ages - and also, the effect that my existence had on them (which I did not see when I was a kid).

If test showed the baby was OK I'd probably have had the baby.

I'd terminate. No way would I want to have another baby at 49 and no way would I want to go back to the baby stage when my older ones are at secondary. I also wouldn't want to be raising a DC all through my 50s and 60s, being stuck with expensive school holidays, the school gate, the school run, argh!!! Just no way!

Would the required test/s not be too late for an early (and therefore "easier") termination?

I remember that I was sent for a scan when at the appointment prior to the procedure, and I sneaked alook at the paperwork, which said "Heartbeat detected" 😪 But back in the consultation, he said, "Oh, actually it's probably "just" a blighted ovum, no termination needed (!). I asked him to look again at the form I had brought back with me from the scan. Oh yes, he said - you're right 🙄 - and then subjected me (with another Dr) to a completely unncessary internal.

It subesquently appared on my GP medical record that I must be advised about contraception, rather than "request a termination" as a method of birth control.

I undertand, but that all sounds a bit casual..... Would you have sought it privately, as I thought Drs had to sign off on it, and continuing has to carry the threat of mental/physical damage to the mother for them to "agree".

I'd love another baby so would be cautiously thrilled.

Very definitely a termination, but with a lot of sadness. There is no way I could go through that again. Respect to those who could.

My friend is 57 and has just adopted her grandson (who she's cared for since birth) to prevent him being taken into care. I can't imagine how difficult that is but it seems a very different choice once they're in the world.

I’m 46, honest to god I would be delighted as long as the baby was ok. My nana is 103 mins you and I feel better than I did in my 20s so I realise it’s not the same for everyone.

Swear profusely. Worry about what the tablets I'm on might do to the baby. Take a hell of a lot of teasing from friends with young kids.

Get my head around things, tear up my life plans and have the baby.

There is no way I could do anything else.

If I die when kid is young, kid would have 4 much older siblings and 6 much older cousins to take care of him.

Terminate.

I think having a big family to fall back on would make it easier to keep the child.

Because that would be my biggest fear. I read a thread on here last week where some mentioned on parent taking dementia at 50 and the other mid 60s OMG that scares the shit out of me. I was 40 when I had my youngest.

I had a similar scare a few months back and it really made me think. I would have to terminate. I suffered badly with PND first time round and could not face that again. My DS has autism and absolutely wouldn't cope with another child in the house. I also think it would push my marriage over the edge.

I'm 46, and I'd terminate any pregnancy now - we're just getting our lives back from having young kids and wouldn't want to reorganise around a baby now. Plus I'm looking at likely developing mobility issues when still relatively young so having a young child with that would be difficult.

Abort without even a moment’s hesitation. I am also 49 and my youngest is 14.

I wouldn't have a baby at 49, but oddly 47/48 doesn't sound too bad to me - probably because my grandma had my uncle at 47, and went on to live for another 40-odd years. 49 seems to be my "nope, too old" point though.

Speaking as a 49 year old, I would 100% terminate. A couple of years ago I would have found it a difficult decision, but I am really starting to feel older- I have much less energy and the thought of having a teenager to look after in 10 years is just awful. I couldn't do it.

I’m 33 and couldn’t imagine having a baby now let alone in my 40s! I already have one in secondary school and wouldn’t want to be starting over again, especially as by the time I’m 40 both my children will be late teens!

After going through years of infertility and miscarriages I wouldn't hesitate to continue with a pregnancy at 49 although it would be much more of a shock for my OH who's 18 years older than me. However I'm a fair few years away yet from reaching my late 40's so I would definitely prefer it to happen sooner rather than later.

I’ve just had my first baby at 48. DH is 47, also his first.

I had an easy pregnancy, planned C section (requested by me, consultant was happy for me to have a VB but I wanted to alleviate risk for the baby).

I was out of hospital the following day, driving on day 10. Body has returned to pre pregnancy state (today is day 14). I feel healthy and full of energy and vitality as does DH. We cope well with little sleep, way better than we would have in our twenties when we both needed loads
of sleep.

We are overjoyed at having a son, he will have a fantastic life with us. We are financially stable. My gran had my mum at 46 and she had a wonderful childhood. Yes, we are older than average parents but we certainly don’t feel it or indeed look it!

Apart from meeting and marrying one another, our baby son is the best thing that’s ever happened to us.

I had a baby at 49, I am now 54, my daughter has brought alot of joy to our lives 🙂 did have other teenage children so know she would have always have family. I could not have had an abortion.

If I didn't have DD already, keep. Ideally, I would want to continue the pregnancy and then have the baby adopted. I would want to say terminate, but I don't know that I could.
Splinters from my fence sitting. Thank god it's never going to happen.