What would do at 49 if …..

[Mumof3teenagers]

….. you found out you were pregnant and your youngest was 14 years old?
I Had a pregnancy scare recently, I’m peri-menopausal, so period did arrive but very late.
It got me thinking, what would I do and I still don’t know!
So just putting it out there….what would you do?

Yes, I am talking about the perspective of the child in the case of older parents - but I did write that they "took me on" when I was around 2 years old, at their ages being about 50 - they were my father's parents. So, it's effectively the same, age-wise. It impacted their life in a negative way, is what I am saying - and therefore rubbed off on me.

Even though my actual mother did not see me again for years, she kindly told me that I only got born becase abortions were hard to get "back then".

Phew, thank you @Dinoteeth - I thought I wasn't being clear, hence another (over-)explanation above 😍

Yes, all private in the country I live in, but I think most women in their late 40s+ could convince a Dr that there's some risk to continuing a pregnancy.

I'd definitely terminate. I'm only 41 and already knackered. My youngest has just started school and I am just starting to get a bit of much needed time for myself.

Hi, OP here.
Thanks for all the replies. I’ve read them all and it’s so interesting to see different views and opinions.
The funny thing is, in my early to mid 40’s I know 100% I would have continued with the pregnancy if it happened.
Now, it’s totally different. Myself and DH spoke about it while waiting ( patiently )for my period to arrive. I was surprised that we were totally agreed that we would terminate asap.
We were both raised Catholic and I suppose, throughout the years I would not have even considered a termination. I wasn’t against it and always understood it was a personal choice and everyone’s situation is different. So, when I thought pregnancy was a possibility at 49, I was surprised how easily we both agreed that it would be right decision for us at this time due to all the reasons and fears I mentioned in OP.
We will need to more careful going forward and avoid this happening again.

I knkw I said I was undecided in OP but we had agreed …. I’m just wondering if we would have followed through or would we change our minds and if thinking I would have gone through it but not without a bit of sadness / catholic guilt attached.

TBH I wouldn't go ahead. I am nearly 48 and my youngest is nearly 13. There is no way I could cope with the baby/toddler years now, I am knackered. Also it would put me right back with work and I am still freelancing, not earning that much. Also risk of a child with SN, and being so limited with what you can do when you have a young baby/child. I'm just starting to be able to go out in the evenings which is great.

I can't believe you even have to ask. No WAY would I be having a baby at 50. They'd still be at school when you're nearly 70.

There are sooooooooooooo many reasons to say NO to having a baby at 50. I can't believe people still ask this on here! At least twice a month this same thread comes up...Shall I have a baby at 47/49/51?/ NO, just NO!

I'm 49 and would terminate. My kids are 20 and 17 and no way could I start again. I feel knackered.

Head in the oven or an abortion at that age!

I'd have an abortion. My youngest is 16, oldest 23. No way could I be doing all that again at my age (47)

I had my youngest dc at 40 so not too far off 49 but when you think at 60, at least they'll be an adult as opposed to 10.
Big difference and I don't think I could go through with it.

I'm 49 too though youngest is 10.

I've always thought I could never terminate but I couldn't have a baby now. I can barely cope with my puppy.

I’m 47 and my DD is 5. She’s profoundly disabled .
im sure it’s her that keeps me “young” though

Terminate, without question.

In fact, I did so, in my mid-40s. No way could I have managed another baby; the thought was horrendous. I terminated, and then 6 months later got sterilised. Not taking any further chances!

It would probably quite literally kill me. My last pregnancy nearly did and I was 34 then.
I'd terminate.
I have a friend who went through with this at 49 though and all was well.

I had my last at 40.

At 49, I don’t know what I would do. I wouldn’t want an abortion (I don’t care what any other woman chooses to do, I couldn’t do it).

But I think I would have to terminate.

I would worry about the babies health and it would mean a 4th section for me, the last one was a horrific recovery.

I'm a similar age and I'd terminate without doubt.

I would have a termination.
Then chop my husband's doofer off with a pair of blunt scissors.

I wouldn't have carried on any pregnancy after I hit 30. By 49 I had a 20, 28 and 31 year old.

Luckily I haven't had a period for 10 years and DP had the snip.

Pressed post too soon.

I am 42 now with a toddler. Christ, I feel everyday if my age, she doesn’t sleep well and I am SO tired. I was 22 and 34 with my older kids and it was so much easier, I had more energy. So a a baby at 49 would terrify me for that reason too.

Definitely not go ahead.

I had twins at 47 (I'm now 50). But, these were my first children after 10 IVFs.

I think it would be different if you already had children, and had got through the baby/young children years.

Pretty sure... I'd have every screening for chromosomal abnormalities & otherwise plan to have it. I could cope but I'd be bemused at my own folly.

Fine if others chose to terminate.

My 47 year old friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17!