What would do at 49 if …..

[Mumof3teenagers]

….. you found out you were pregnant and your youngest was 14 years old?
I Had a pregnancy scare recently, I’m peri-menopausal, so period did arrive but very late.
It got me thinking, what would I do and I still don’t know!
So just putting it out there….what would you do?

Terminate

After years and years of IVF and infertility I dream of a miracle pregnancy. I’m 49, and I would bite your hand off to have that baby!

I'd have the baby. It would completely mess with my life plans, because I have big plans for once the youngest leaves for uni and they would be impossible if I waited another 19 years. But I'd still have the baby and make a different plan. It would be challenging, but lovely in its own way. I've always really wanted another one but it didn't work out.

Coming from a strict Irish family my grandmother was in this situation ended up with 7 children, my daughter (only child) will be 20 when I turn 49. I really wouldn’t like to start again, although I know two woman who had children around this age, one is 54 with a 6 year old and another is 64 with a 13 year old, respect to them, I’d struggle.

I’d be delighted

I’m that age and my youngest is 13. I have two older teens. I’m with a new partner and in some crazy ways would love to have his baby. And feel sad that by choosing to be with me he won’t have kids assuming we stay together.

But no way having had 3 happy healthy kids could I begin again. If terminate very reluctantly. I don’t judge those who choose to be older parents though. If I had to choose between
zero kids and one in my late 40s it would be the latter.

Honestly I think I'd terminate. I am very happy with the family I have and I have zero desire to start again. That said, maybe I'd feel differently if a new baby was an actual reality 🤷‍♀️

I'm 46, my youngest is 20. I wouldn't keep it. I'd really wrestle with my conscience, but no way could I go back to nappys and school runs.

I'm that age, have two young fantastic young adult children and the tantalising promise of being myself again after over 20 years of being their mum, first and foremost . My daughter is much closer to the age I was when I had her, than I am now.
I would have a termination without a moment's regret.

She mean she was 2 and ended up living, being raised by her 50 year old grandparents. They were in effect acting as her Mum & Dad so understands what it is like to be raised by much older people.

I'd have the baby, my youngest would be 15/16.

I would only have an abortion in the case of medical reasons, so if I was fit and healthy and the baby was developing well I would just deal with this as another curve ball thrown by life.

DH is younger than me by seven years and was very helpful during my pregnancies and new born stage so I'd have him on my side too.

Fascinating thread.. and something i was thinking about myself recently! I'm same age with a 13-yo, full blown peri. Also had a scare a couple of months ago and was completely petrified. I concluded that I'd probably terminate for my own mental and physical health, but with a VERY heavy heart.

I'd terminate. I'm 46 and my husband is older. I know with absolute certainty I couldn't cope with the sleepless nights and grunt work of a young child again. There's also no way I could cope with that and be an even half way decent parent to my teens.

I'd wait for the almost 100% probability of a miscarriage, and in the meantime book a termination appointment just in case.

I'm also 49 and youngest is 14. I'd terminate as early as possible with no hesitation whatsoever. I love my kids so much but really struggled with pregnancy and then PND; a baby now would break me and probably our marriage.

I'd have to have a termination I think, but then I'm not sure I could go through with it. I'm 47 and my youngest is 13. It's one of my worst nightmares TBH.

I'm only 33, so not really in that situation.
If I were to be calling it a pregnancy 'scare', I'd definitely be going for a termination.

I would terminate in a heart beat. I am so glad though that as I near 50, the chances of this happening are slight and that if I did get pregnant, the chances of me carrying to term are slight (if we didn't use contraception, which we do).

My biggest fear was getting pregnant in my early 40s. I knew I couldn't do it again but at 40, it would have been much harder to terminate. I am 100% pro choice but have always known that i would personally struggle to do it. As I've got older, I realise that I would not struggle at all. find out I'm pregnant today? Book a termination tomorrow.

It's my biggest worry. I have a mirena but still not menopausal.

We have plans, retire & adventures oversea that aren't compatible with another child. But I don't know what I would do. Dp is older than me too

Physically I think I could cope as I'm pretty capable still at 59

No I'm. 49!

I am in my fifties and could cope with a baby. But could you really cope with a 14-year-old at 74 years old?

I'm only 41 but I'd terminate if I got pregnant now - wouldn't even think twice about it. 49, same answer.

Short of being sterilised (because I'm just a silly woman who might change her mind so couldn't get approval) I'm doing everything imaginable to avoid getting pregnant in my twilight years of fertility.