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AIBU?

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Original poster

What would do at 49 if …..

165 replies

Mumof3teenagers · 07/11/2022 00:27

….. you found out you were pregnant and your youngest was 14 years old?
I Had a pregnancy scare recently, I’m peri-menopausal, so period did arrive but very late.
It got me thinking, what would I do and I still don’t know!
So just putting it out there….what would you do?

OP posts:
TarquinOliverNimrod · 07/11/2022 12:59

cantab94 · 07/11/2022 12:58

I had a baby at 49, I am now 54, my daughter has brought alot of joy to our lives 🙂 did have other teenage children so know she would have always have family. I could not have had an abortion.

🥰

Crunchymum · 07/11/2022 13:03

I'd terminate but I don't want any more children.

As things stand I am early 40's but on a medication which means I'd need to terminate for medical reasons if I were to fall pregnant. I make sure I don't fall pregnant (abstinence being my current method of contraception) but medication and abstinence aside I am 100% sure I don't want another child.

TheOrigRights · 07/11/2022 13:12

LoveMyPiano · 07/11/2022 11:53

I'm not sure what your little face means? I am offering a perspective from the other side - that of the child of older "parents" (in my case). There have been many times I wish I had not beenborn into that setting.
I have also had a a child of my own, and also had a termination, although not due to age.

Show quote history

I think they are confused. You said you had grandparents who were 50. Do you mean parents?

Allschoolsareartschools · 07/11/2022 13:13

LoveMyPiano · 07/11/2022 11:53

I'm not sure what your little face means? I am offering a perspective from the other side - that of the child of older "parents" (in my case). There have been many times I wish I had not beenborn into that setting.
I have also had a a child of my own, and also had a termination, although not due to age.

Show quote history

It's probably because you put grandparents not parents in your 1st post.

MrsDThomas · 07/11/2022 13:14

Without a doubt id be at that clinic before you could say abortion

Chomolungma · 07/11/2022 13:18

I'd terminate (I'm around that age) but partly because DH would be really, really against another. If it was just down to me I'd feel torn! I have three teens but I do love babies!

Glittertwins · 07/11/2022 13:22

Absolutely no way are we starting all over again! Life is comfortable now and it would be a huge upheaval and expense not to mention I had severe HG last time.
I hated being pregnant.

SNWannabe · 07/11/2022 13:27

Im younger than that and a Grandma already so maybe id have the baby and let my dd raise it...works in soap opera land doesn't it?

Freddosforall · 07/11/2022 13:31

I think I'd have to have a termination as the idea fills me with dread. But if I didn't find out until I was quite far along (more likely at that age as you're not expecting it) then I don't think I could terminate but I'd also think it was a disaster. I pray never to face that choice.

Wilkolampshade · 07/11/2022 13:35

Gosh, I had pretty much exactly this. Was 47 though.
Initial shock. Then a few weeks of slow coming to terms, weighing things up. All seemed OK ish.... Then had a private scan which showed no heartbeat then confirmed MMC at I think 11 weeks?
I know my DH found the whole thing terrifying - and my teenage kids were horrified I was still sexually active of course, but a part of me did feel terribly terribly sad to lose the pregnancy, and I've never really let them know. It was without doubt the loneliest I had ever felt.

BabyGrooverBug · 07/11/2022 13:39

Of course, a 49yo father isnt even remarkable these days, I have three male friends who had children in their early 50s this is the first time it's even occured to me that's quite old.

Crackof · 07/11/2022 13:41

I'm that effect age. Terminate, I think. I was a sahm before and I'm just now launching myself into self employment.
I can't wait any longer.

Oblomov22 · 07/11/2022 13:42

I'd have a termination, without a second thought.

Crackof · 07/11/2022 13:42

Crackof · 07/11/2022 13:41

I'm that effect age. Terminate, I think. I was a sahm before and I'm just now launching myself into self employment.
I can't wait any longer.

*exact

Berlinlover · 07/11/2022 13:45

I’d have an abortion.

LBFseBrom · 07/11/2022 13:45

I would terminate without a second thought (and make sure I did not become pregnant again).

mac1974 · 07/11/2022 13:46

I'm a bit younger than you but I've always said I would never go through another pregnancy again. I think my last one pushed my body to its limit. I would be devastated but I would have to terminate.

IntrovertedPenguin · 07/11/2022 13:46

Abort.

Wishawisha · 07/11/2022 13:47

Honestly, honestly? - I would assume that the miscarriage rate at that age being as high as it is I would probably wait a few weeks to really consider it and assume that nature would most likely make the decision for me. Probably a termination if it didn’t, but I would think long and hard about the pros and cons.

Squirrelsnut · 07/11/2022 13:47

I'd (very sadly) terminate. It just wouldn't be fair on my family and there's NO WAY I could cope with that level of exhaustion and working FT again.

SpiderGram · 07/11/2022 13:48

Allschoolsareartschools · 07/11/2022 13:13

It's probably because you put grandparents not parents in your 1st post.

Show quote history

I think LoveMyPiano means she ended up being raised by her grandparents from the age of 2, so knows what it is like to be raised by someone older.

Fattoushi · 07/11/2022 13:49

The chances of getting pregnant at 49 are very low, the chances of staying pregnant are much lower. So I'd wait for the miscarriage, and if not, I'd terminate.
Apart from anything else, the rate of defects and genetic disorders are so much worse at that advanced age.

Wishawisha · 07/11/2022 13:49

Can I ask what you mean @LoveMyPiano ? You were 2 and ended up with 50 year old grandparents?

Comedycook · 07/11/2022 13:49

If my existing child was an only child I'd be tempted to keep it...

If I was just considering the impact on me, I'd terminate. No way could I cope with a baby at that age and the thought of having a teenager in my late sixties is terrifying

America12 · 07/11/2022 13:50

I'm just over 50 , I'd terminate.