Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

[Knittingpandas]

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another.

But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ?

Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?”

We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

I think child free weddings are no problem at all as long as people own it. Both the decision and the consequences. So if you want a child free wedding, don't behave like you think you're doing parents a favour giving them a night off. Don't pretend you're regretful because it was dictated by the venue as if you didn't choose the venue. Just call it what it is. And then accept, gracefully, that the consequence of your decision means some people won't come who would otherwise. If you can tick all those boxes, it's completely fine.

And yes people do sometimes give a kid free invitation to people they know can't or won't come in that scenario, just to say they've invited them. It's a thing. Same with an evening invitation to a wedding that's a trek for them.

You had a destination wedding?

Oh the irony! 🤣🤣

I'm pretty sure it's just a throw away comment about leaving the kids at home, "owning it" suggests that what they're doing is some sort of sin or something. I actually never even realised that people got so offended by child free weddings until i started posting on mumsnet 😂

But the 'sin' in this instance is the bullshitting! Not the child free wedding which is fine. Just don't pretend it's something it isn't.

I couldn't think of anything worse than screaming kids running around at a wedding tbh.

It's absolutely hilarious that after ranting about the selfishness of child free weddings, the OP drops in that they had a destination wedding.
These are surely far more hated than child free weddings and far more inconvenient and costly than someone needing a babysitter.
Amazing. 😂

I have no skin in the game as DD is now grown up. We get invited to very few weddings as everyone we know is either married or has no intention of getting married.

I think the issue is the self entitlement on both sides.
A guest can't assume that DC are included in the invitation, and the bride and groom have to accept gracefully that parents of young DC can't always come to a child free wedding.

The two most unreasonable things that stick out for me is brides expecting mothers of EBF babies to leave their babies at home, and parents not removing noisy and disruptive children from the ceremony.

It's a hard one isn't it, I think completely depends on the bride and groom. We had children at our wedding, for me growing up it was exciting and looked forward to weddings etc. So we opted to have kids at ours.
However, my god daughter who was 2.5 at the time and a full on meltdown during the ceremony, my MOH and witness had to take her outside (her parents were there but her daughter wouldn't settle), she missed the vowels and I had to get someone else to sign the register. There's a brilliant pic though of my dad walking me down the Isle and her in the middle, me and my dad are staring at her and she's looking at me 😂. I can see the funny side of that but others might not

I didn't invite new boyfriends/girlfriends and didn't offer automatic plus ones.
Why would I? I don't want someone's random boyfriend they've been seeing for 3 months or someone bringing a mate along just to use the plus one.

If there'd been anyone there who didn't know other people I probably would have offered a plus one but there wasn't.

I didn't want a wedding full of people I didn't know.

I did have kids but there were only a few then.
Now, I'd have to invite 20 plus kids if I included everyone and it would seriously restrict numbers.
So if I was getting married now, it would be child free.

It's not discriminatory in any way and to suggest so is ridiculous.
You don't like it, you don't go.

Destination weddings OTOH, absolute pisstakes.

Almost like it’s made up isn’t it?

I know. That's enough internet for today I think!

Yeah, it has jumped the shark. Trolls would do so much better if they just kept it slightly realistic but they get overexcited. 😄

Did you have a bison as a ring bearer at your wedding OP?

M&S catering?

I think a lot of it is about thinking through your invitees and what will work for them. If the only people with small kids have childcare and would actually enjoy the day off, go for it.
We only invited the younger cousins - they needed to come to allow their parents to come, but the older ones could be left, and since flights/ferries were required, it would have been costly to bring them.

I'm just baffled that so many people will only leave kids with grandparents. In my late teens I made an absolute fortune babysitting kids in the village when their parents were off at all day events.

When DD was little we had only just moved to the village we live in. I knew no-one who could babysit, and didn't feel comfortable leaving her with a complete stranger. I'm baffled that you can't imagine that.

When she was a bit older I had a friend whose daughter could babysit, but I had to pick up and take the babysitter back home so it was always a non drinking outing.

Yay. I couldn't imagine not inviting my cousin's children, my husband's goddaughter etc. There were no babies, the youngest girl was 4. I attended so many weddings as a child, I wouldn't have my wedding any other way.

I am not a troll. The reason we had a “destination” wedding was because we don’t come from the UK. The wedding happened in the country we come from and it was not a destination wedding for the majority of the guests, it was a destination wedding only for our British friends just a handful of people for whom we paid accommodation and commuting. Anyway, that’s another story but don’t judge without knowing the logistics.

YABU. Do people really not have any adult time away from their kids ever? How weird. It's up to the bride and groom, who are paying a lot of money for the celebrations, to decide whether or not it's an appropriate event for kids.

It's one thing if you absolutely can't leave your kids - no partner or family, don't have the money for childcare, child with additional needs who can't be left etc. That's fair enough. But if you don't go to a friend's childfree wedding just to make a pissy point I'd consider you very rude, petty and a bad friend.

I find child free weddings FAR less inconvenient on guests in comparison to destination weddings 😂 defo a troll

Don't judge without knowing the logistics 😂
Ohhhh the irony.

I had a child free wedding. It was in a child free venue and it was fab. The key was that none of the people we most wanted to come ie our friends, had kids at the time.

As a guest I can't stand children (mine or other's) at weddings but tolerate them as it's the B&G's choice.

You know you don't have to accept an invitation OP. I can't imagine you're the life and soul anyway.

And yes - plus ones are not always invited.

When I got married it was all about the guests.

I don’t think you understand what a wedding is then, OP

OP, food for thought.

Children are more likely to be murdered by a relative than a stranger… .

That’s a bigger bite than the ones you tried to feed us, isn’t it?