Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

[Knittingpandas]

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another.

But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ?

Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?”

We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

@Knittingpandas @notanothertakeaway

i think most people do though

i certainly did

i had a child free wedding , it was fab and I would hundred percent do it again

To be fair all my mates are of the same mindset, love to let their hair down at weddings, get tipsy, etc they wouldn’t have wanted to bring their kids anyway

@LuckySantangelo35 Do they have family support around? This is the key question!

Not everyone feels comfortable to let their child to a baby sitter.

I would love to let my hair down and have a good night out - if and only if - my kids could stay with their grandparents. This is not an option for us though and invitations to weddings should have been thought through, otherwise don’t invite people.

I know couples who refuse to have even babes in arms at their wedding get slated in MN. But it was the experience of a baby screaming through much of a relative's wedding which was one of the reasons I wanted a child free wedding. The baby was ill too, poor thing. Lord knows why the parents didn't leave.

and she's judgemental on how others choose to celebrate their wedding day (i.e. just adults) and also judgemental on how others conduct themselves at weddings.

I can’t believe you are a real person. Do you honestly expect everyone to accommodate your exact requirements when they plan a party? What if you’d booked a once in a lifetime holiday - would you want them to move the date? Your sense of entitlement is like something out of a bad American drama show!!

Have you ever thought they realise this and are just saying ‘no children’ so they don’t have to cope with your selfishness and entitlement. I couldn’t be doing with that sort of drama at a wedding party.

Ok, so you don’t feel comfortable leaving our kids with a babysitter. That’s your choice and you need to accept the consequences of that rather than being bitter it means you can’t do anything.

I'm pretty sure it's just a throw away comment about leaving the kids at home, "owning it" suggests that what they're doing is some sort of sin or something. I actually never even realised that people got so offended by child free weddings until i started posting on mumsnet 😂

Then there really isn't a problem, is there?

@Knittingpandas

i dunno each and every one of their circumstances that day and who they left their kids with

you’ll just have to accept that you cannot go to these child free weddings. If you get invited, politely decline and send them a lovely card

it’s really not hard

When I got married it was all about the guests. It was a destination wedding and we paid hotels and buses to transfer people from the airport to the venue. The day before the wedding we arranged a meal for them all. We asked for dietary requirements beforehand. We thought of families and offer rooms that are far from the area that the party was happening so that their babies could sleep quietly. It was all about our guests and seeing them happy made us also happy! This thing that it’s only about B&G just make everyone else a bit miserable and left out.

This is my view and what we did and I appreciate that not everyone is aligned with it

Oh come on now every person that invites you to a wedding needs to consider your aversion to leaving your children with a babysitter? Come on OP, you sounded entitled before but that’s just ridiculous.

I think a B&G have many more things to think about than every single guests childcare situations. Most invites to go out with the intention of “it would be lovely if you can join us but if you can’t that’s fine”

Considering most people don’t have the fear around babysitters outside of the family that you have, I think it’s fair to say that’s not even thought about when an invitation is sent

If you’re so wound up that you can never leave your children with any person other than your spouse or your parents, then you need to accept that this is an extreme position and people are not bound to arrange their personal affairs around your extreme position. You’re massively overestimating the value you and your children bring to these people’s lives and will be continually disappointed if you don’t make an effort to see this from another perspective.

When I got married it was all about the guests. It was a destination wedding and we paid hotels and buses to transfer people from the airport to the venue.

😂A destination wedding is never “all about the guests” really is it?

Well you don’t appreciate that everyone is not aligned to your view because every time someone has said an opposite view to yours you have indicated that they are wrong and your way is the only way to host a wedding

I’m absolutely loving the fact that this entire thread is about how impolite it is to inconvenience people by having a showy wedding that excludes their children, and it turns out you had a destination wedding. Yes, you paid for hotels, but you expected people to use up their annual leave and/or take their kids out of school just to attend your celebration?!

My thoughts exactly.

Also. Perfectly working in all the bun fight topics. Good job. Almost as good job as m&s staff does

I think it's down to the couple, it's their big day, they are paying for every guest therefore it's their choice. If their venue only has a certain capacity why should they invite young children who may not even remember the day over friends who will be able to talk about it with them for years to come?

In addition, I've been to weddings where children have been there and been allowed to run riot by their parents or scream during the ceremony/speeches. It's just not fair on the couple who may have spent years planning/saving for the wedding. The majority of children are well behaved, but ultimately weddings can be boring for them as they are long days.

DH and I planned for a child free wedding - and though in the end we had to have a very restricted wedding (due to covid) where we could only invite 30 - we're glad no children were involved. I'm currently expecting my first baby and I don't expect her to be invited to weddings going forward. It's down to the couple at the end of the day, their big day, their choice.

We had a child free wedding (apart from nieces and nephews), we married later than most our friends and the vast majority had multiple children. If we'd have invited all of them, we'd have had to bump several friends or family members as there wouldn't have been room in the venue. We were prepared to do that.
I decline destination weddings because I'm not taking annual leave, arranging for someone to look after the dog and all the other associated costs to be away for multiple days for someone elses wedding.

Up to the bride and groom. It's largely what I had 31 years ago.

Didn’t you say your child went to nursery OP? So you obviously are comfortable leaving them with others when you need to.
btw many nursery staff do babysitting as a sideline. I went to a wedding where a couple of nursery staff from the B&Gs Childrens nursery actually attended to look after their children during the ceremony.

But not everyone feels the same. As I say mine was largely child free, with 3 exceptions. One of them ruined it, screamed all through the service. I love children but not at weddings.

This is my view and what we did and I appreciate that not everyone is aligned with it

Well you obviously don't or you wouldn't still be harping on about it.

Shark jumped, op. Did you pay everyone's air fares too?

Only children from our immediate family are invited to our wedding. Nearly all of our extended family and friends have kids and it would be completely impractical (not to mention unaffordable) to invite them all. We've had one couple who we aren't close with say they can't come for childcare reasons. It's a shame but ultimately it's our wedding and our money. No one is forced to come and I wouldn't be upset with anyone who can't/won't come because of the kids issue.