Adults only weddings - Yay or Nay

[Knittingpandas]

I am not very familiar with the concept - it only happened once to be invited in such a wedding and I have also heard of another.

But how is it possible to invite adults only? I mean if parents go to the wedding then who is supposed to look after toddlers, babies etc. ?

Is it a way to say to people “we invite you but please don’t come?”

We have no family/support around and this invite sounds a bit weird and discriminatory … If you want someone to share the joy and happiness with you then you must welcome his other half and, of course, children under 18 years old! Where are they supposed to stay while their parents celebrate with you?

What on earth is there to be bitter about ? It comes from seeing far too many Brides & Grooms spending 20k plus on a Wedding that has guest coughing up hundreds of £s ( and in some cases thousands) just to attend then spend 3 hours standing about twiddling their thumbs whilst there is a 3 hour photo shoot, then watching the divorce a few short years later because the not so happy couple have saddled themselves with so much debt.

I see weddings as a union of two families, and don't like child-free ones.

But completely respect others who see it differently. And don't assume their motivation is cost cutting (though of course it could be)

I see weddings as a union of two families, and don't like child-free ones.

How often do the two “joined” families actually see each other after the wedding day though?

Child free weddings are very common these days.
You have a choice - either arrange babysitting, or dont go.
personally, it would depend on how close to me the bride and/or groom are, and how disruptive the wedding - ie, not a destinatin wedding, if children are very young, for example.

What on earth is there to be bitter about ? It comes from seeing far too many Brides & Grooms spending 20k plus on a Wedding that has guest coughing up hundreds of £s ( and in some cases thousands) just to attend then spend 3 hours standing about twiddling their thumbs whilst there is a 3 hour photo shoot, then watching the divorce a few short years later because the not so happy couple have saddled themselves with so much debt.

I don't think having a child free wedding means you'll fall into massive debt and divorce 5mins later😂

Our reception was a dinner party for 20 people in a private dining room starting at 8pm so people could get their younger kids into bed and sneak a babysitter in. No one complained and no one declined. shrugs

I disagree - it was much rarer then, and definitely a mark of being less important (it would be for work mates and those from clubs and societies that you weren't particularly close to, but who might like a disco/celidh, and who would be local). Now people wouldn't necessarily mind, because they would know that they were acquittances rather than friends, and weren't expected to travel.

I agree strongly that there weren't automatic 'plus ones' especially for those people whose OH had barely met the couple. Having an independent social life, even when married, used to be far more common.

@Knittingpandas

“Money. It is more respectful to cut from your flowers, decorations, invitations and other stupid things than to invite people and force them to find a solution and triangle the circle in order to attend your wedding.”

you might think these things are stupid, plenty would disagree with you

if you think I would scrimp on my dress for example to invite kids to my wedding - not a chance!

you cannot dictate what people prioritise and spend their money on …. Cos it’s their money !

soz about that

@slowquickstep must say I agree. I think some weddings have lost their true meaning and it's a very expensive photo shoot. The last wedding I went to felt like that and yes it did come with lots of expense. We had to hire a suit costing over 100 quid because the bride wanted the groomsmen to match, in her choice of colour. Then my outfit, the present, hotels. Drinks. It was also child free.
I didn't enjoy it tbh but they must have spent crazy money.

The only time it’s pissed me off was when I had a tiny breastfed baby and the bride and groom said no. That was absolutely a “you can’t come” moment and that did hurt.

Talking about costs , the guests bring a present (usually cash). Whenever I went to a wedding I never gave anything less than what they paid for me to come. When my husband and I attended a wedding before kids we have to the couple £200. Anything less than £100 sounds very weird to me as a wedding gift. So, don’t put everything under the label “cost” as there get presents

So if there were children there everything would have been ok?

Nobody had put everything under the label of costs (although risky business relying on getting the cost back in presents and not having couple's own money there to pay for it)... It was listed as one possible reason of many for not having children at weddings!

OP give it up. Maybe if your kids aren’t invited to weddings, it’s because you’re one of the parents who smile sweetly while your little angels trash the buffet or slide around the dance floor during the first dance, or screech through the speeches.

food for thought 😊

How selfish of you @LuckySantangelo35 you should have got married in any old outfit, just made an fb event page in order to make other people's children the CENTRE of the day, its not about you! Will nobody THINK OF THE CHILDREN!! (Also remember if little Timothy wants to stop the ceremony with a rendition of 'wind the bobbin up' from the center stage you must stop, listen and indulgently applaud!

Op is just winding us up😁

Do people realise that there aren't two types of wedding - childfree ones which cost thousands of pounds and will see the happy couple divorced within 5 years, and ones with children which cost thruppence and will see the happy couple celebrating their silver wedding anniversary?

The most expensive weddings I've been to have been the ones with 40 kids running about - not surprising, as they're the ones with the biggest guest lists. I didn't spend the entire event judging the cost of everything and trying to determine from that how soon the divorce would follow - how utterly bizarre.

It's hysterical isn't it that MN'ers think like this 🤣

My childfree wedding consisted of a wedding with just the 2 of us then a big knees up in a hall with pie and mash, music and drinking. It was brilliant and cost hardly anything.

There's a few PPs on here saying people who want child free weddings are doing it for the Instagram perfect aesthetic etc.

I actually think it's the opposite... I think some people just want their kids there to be dragged into photos and looking cute in their wee formal outfits. Then they can get chucked into a side room with entertainment for them as previous PP said because adults are partying. If kids need entertainment at weddings doesn't that mean you already know they'll be bored?

We had a child (under 5 years) free ceremony but had tonnes of kids at the meal & reception! While I don't personally like the idea of having no kids at wedding parties, I do get why some people do. We've been invited to one next summer and we will have 3 kids by then, so as it's DH friends, he is going and I'm staying home with the kids 🤷‍♀️ not our day, so not going to get annoyed about it.

I went to a friend’s wedding where a child screamed through the speeches. At no point did their parents take him out the room.

I adore being invited to an adult only wedding.

Ah sorry sweethearts, I'd love to take you but I can't..... you have a day or two with granny while me and daddy go to the brining wedding and get drunk, have a night in a hotel, a lie in and don't have to share our food

That means that bride and groom will be together for ever😍

🤣🤣🤣

If I’d been the one making the speech I’d have stopped and asked the parents to take him out.