He's stormed out saying he clearly can't do anything right so what's the point trying
Back story, heavily pregnant and feeling every bit of it. Husband went to collect our click and collect order this morning, 3 year old didn't want to go with him, fine. The plan is to go to the beach for a walk for the afternoon so he's getting out then. Spent the morning on the sofa, he was on the floor with Netflix on in the background playing with his toys.
10am Netflix comes up are you still watching, mum guilt kicks in, I say right enough tele let's go do something. Go in the kitchen, get the paints out, cut some potato stamps and we are doing that all fine, not even 5 minutes later he starts complaining he's bored and wants tele back on. I say no we've had 4 hours of tele we're going to do something else, if you don't want to do painting why don't we get something else out and make a few suggestions. He flies off the rails (which in itself is the result of too much screen time!) escalated to the point he scratched my arm and threw a bar stool over which took a chunk out of the wall. I did raise my voice at this and he then threw the paint and made a big mess with it. My husband walked in the door as this was happening and suddenly my son went from angry to hysterically sobbing that mummy made him upset because she shouted (I know I shouldn't of) my husband asked what happened and I explained that we've had hours of tele and he's kicking off because I said no more. He says give them a minute to calm down and go for a shower as I had paint on me.
I come back down from my shower and they are cuddled up on the sofa and he's got tele back on. As I walk in my husband goes right what do you say, toddler says sorry mummy, then my husband says that my son has cleaned up the paint and knows that because he was naughty he doesn't get to go to the beach anymore.
Fucking really? We don't think the logical solution here for a tantrum about screen time was to say because you've behaved in this way, there's no more screen time today and we're all going to go out to the beach. No, we take away the walk, outside in the fresh air, and give him more screen time? I turned the tele off and said you've had enough screens, we're going to the beach. Husband says I'm undermining him, I laugh because it's so ridiculous that this is how he thought he had resolved situation, he says why am I laughing? I say it's incompetent parenting to reward a tantrum about screen time with screen time and take away an outdoor activity as the punishment despite the fact that's a positive thing and is totally unrelated. He kicks off nothing he does is good enough and storms out. Left me with a kicking off child who didn't know what was going on and was just angry all over again about the tele being turned off. Took me an hour to calm him down, another big tantrum in that time and now I'm just exhausted and pissed off.
AIBU? Or is just parenting 101?