If you are a SAHP why?

[cattyfranny]

Currently I am a SAHM, I am studying at Uni and I volunteer but I don’t have a paid job (I have a 2 yr old home and 7 yr old at school)

When I meet new people they assume that I have been “forced” into this position either because childcare costs are too high or crazily that my DH asked me to stay home! They seem to think it’s unthinkable to choose to be a SAHM 🤷‍♀️

If you are at home with your children, did you willingly choose to do it? Would you prefer to be at work? Why are you a SAHP?

I didn't willingly chose it but I would willingly chose it if I had a choice

Personally I hated it. It was mind numbing, the drudgery of housework and relentlessness of toddler demands. One of my mum friends worked out that 8 out of 10 women in my toddler group were on antidepressants.

I went back part-time as soon as I could and that is when I felt I had a nice balance. I could enjoy time with the kids and would plan things for us to do..I didn't feel overstretched, lacking in patience or lonely and bored. I had time to think and be productive and contribute to projects and just feel valued and respected for my own ideas.

I think that's lovely! What lucky children you have 🥰

Ha, don't ask that on here OP!!! Are you crazy? You're not allowed to enjoy being a SAHM on MN. You will be told you. are 'not a real SAHM' unless you are living in rags and full of woe. This is the MN law!

Chose it, love it.

Each to their own on this topic I say.

I wanted to stay home with the kids and DH also wanted me to be with them instead of sending them to a nursery. I'd choose it again every time.

@girlmom21 thank you so much you've made my day, what a lovely compliment 🤗

I stayed at home for 8 years with my 3 when they were little.

Loved it. Completed an OU degree during that time and finished with a first class. No problem returning to work. Miss those days but so, so grateful I had them.

Chose it, absolutely love it!! I don't feel any need to justify my choice though, same as I wouldn't expect a working parent to justify their life decisions 🙃

I went back to work parttime after my first and then didn't go back after my 2nd and decided to have DC3. I suppose I choose not to stay at home and I enjoy it (most of the time!) I suppose I'm a bit all or nothing and I've decided to focus my energies into the home and children.

Chose to stay at home for 15 years for various reasons. Now back at work full time in a professional role. I've been judged for both (more for being a sahm on mumsnet!)- women can't win.

Me and DH took it in turns when ours were little. Then did part time for a bit.

We did it to spend time with the children but took turns so as not to damage our careers.

Hated every minute of maternity leave. Stuck at home, unemployed, bored, nobody around all day except pensioners and housewives.
Went back to work as hospital doctor when DD was four months. Worked til 36 weeks with next DD, back to work asap afterwards.
Just as well that I had a lucrative career, as DH died just before DD2’s first birthday. I had to increase to full time to support the DC.

It was a choice at first as I wanted to stay home for a few years and had a career I could easily return to. Then I discovered my child was severely disabled and returning to work became impossible.

Couldn't see the point of working for most of the money to go on childcare.
Very few jobs out there that are only school hours.
Don't really like working. Would if I had too but we managed on one wage (just about).

I chose too, but also kind of to do with childcare cost because no way am I working just for the majority of wages to pay someone else to look after my kid it just seems utterly pointless to me. I was quite looking forward to going back to work part-time when my daughter got her 30 hours but I am having another baby now so another 3 years of being a SAHM which I’m not sad about :)

As a student I wouldn't really count you as a SAHM anyway! You're studying and taking care of your children simultaneously, which I'd say is different from having childcare as your sole responsibility. Hats off to you btw.

When I was a SAHM it was totally through choice, and tbh I still feel like one even though I run a small business from home so technically can't qualify as one anymore either.

I really enjoy being home. Small things that make me happy are having the house smell of cooking when the kids walk in the door, not being rushed in the evening trying to fit in washing, cleaning and homework x3 kids - I've got time to take care of most of it while they're at school and evenings are spent together, relaxing.

I chose to be a SAHM. I didn't particularly like my job, it was something that I could easily go back to. I like small children. I willingly do childcare for my GC, the youngest is now five and I'm sad that I won't be involved in a toddler's life again. By the time I had my third DC, I went back to work at eighteen months, I regretted it and still do. I was a young Mum, so I had time to make it worthwhile doing a BA when they were all in high school. The statements made about women who are happy to be SAHMs aren't made about those who work in early years provision, housekeeping, hospitality etc. I think that I've been quite lucky, even if I don't have the property and earnings that some do. The only stressful time was when I was working with a pre primary child.

As of tomorrow, I will be working very part time. So much so that I may as well be a sahm!

My reasons are:

1. I want to see more of my kids. We have no family nearby and they only have me and dh. I want time at home while they're quite little
2. we can afford it thanks to dh job, savings and inheritance (my mum died a few years ago and I inherited part of a house which we sold and now have some extra money)
3. I'm planning to retrain and am doing some studying while dcs are at school

I chose to stay at home and that has extended into staying at home to home educate our dc.

Chose it in the first instance, we can live comfortably on my dh wage luckily. I was going to go back to work when dd went to full time school.
Unfortunately asd has meant i can’t work now as I have to be home for my child as she can’t deal with any alternate care. I’d love to work again

initially i shifted to weekend work, but then we found out DS was disabled my marriage fell apart, and working became untenable as i had no childcare i could leave DS with if he was home, and school called me repeatedly to come in short notice, work didnt like it at all... so i had to give up my job and while i class myself as a carer, i'm essentially a SAH single mom.

DH is SAHP because one of needed to be (severely disabled child with no appropriate childcare for sick days and lengthy school holidays) and I had the higher earning power, so he stays home.

I jacked in my job to home educate my son. He has some SEN and I could see, over lockdown, that he was better off at home.
I do a few shifts at TESCO but 90% of the time I'm at home with the kids.
I get DD off to school, help DS with his learning, pick up DD, take everyone to after school activites, pick them up.
I used to have a very stressful job which I loved. But its a relief to take things at a slower pace.
I would say its a positive choice.

I was a SAHM for 12 years (with an only DC ). It was very pleasant, I kept myself busy, plenty of interesting volunteering opportunities, no financial problems (yes, I acknowledge I was very fortunate), lived near the beach so lovely, lazy days out - on my own if DS was at school ! I feel I contributed a lot to the community - I did meals on wheels, drove people to hospital, got very involved in a local playschool, volunteered at a Food Bank and Night Shelter etc etc..

But I think being a SAHM with no financial worries, plenty of self confidence to join things and get involved is very different to being a SAHM in a high rise flat, no car, limited funds, unsupportive DH/DP, DC with special needs etc etc