To not want to give lifts with baby in the car

[alwaysfrazzled]

My baby is four months old and is a nightmare in the car. She screams the place down and always drops her dummy which upsets her even more. If I need to go anywhere in the car I make it short journeys and if I have to go anywhere longer than ten mins I always go with someone else in the back.
Sister in law is in hospital and needs a lift home. She stays a half hour drive away so that's an hour round trip.
She would have to sit in the back with the baby but it won't stop the screaming, on the way home would be a nightmare. I hate driving with constant screaming.
I don't want to do it. Would I be unreasonable to suggest she gets the bus home?
My partner is working away so not home to help. Her mum is on holiday. Nobody else can drive her home. Nightmare.

You’re having a laugh aren’t you? In the last week we’ve had a lady with pneumonia released back to us, and a man with a blood clot.

I have no idea how people lead such isolated lives.
There is literally noons to help you or your sil?
How bizarre.

No one obviously.

This is so horribly cruel. Why would you say that?!

I know a kid like this and there's nothing you can do to stop the crying. Some just hate the car so I get that you're not exaggerating about it, it's awful. If you're not comfortable don't do it but I would feel bad and try and make an arrangement for her even if it's just calling if the taxi or something

OP YANBU - my DD was the same as yours and it was rough (for both of us!). It did pass eventually but while it's ongoing for you I think it's fair to avoid giving lifts.

It's pretty obvious though that OP was asked because 'she doesn't work' so they know she's technically available.

If it was really such a dire situation then surely MIL or OP's partner would step in as a last resort. OP has been volunteered as a free taxi because she's available, not because she's close to SIL or the most convenient option.

Also, no matter how rurally SIL lives you can definitely get a taxi from a local hospital. I doubt there's a hospital in the UK that isn't serviced by at least one local taxi company. I've had to take a 20 min taxi ride to and from hospital many times before I got my driving license.

Agree @Mariellama! 'Oh @alwaysfrazzled is on mat leave, she'll do it, can't be doing anything else!'

Did you miss the fact the OPs husband is working away and MIL is away on holiday?

Oh so it's ok to say I'm vile though?
The hypocrisy.
What if one of the op's children was poorly? There would be literally no one to help?
I don't think that's common.

Reported some
Obviously.

And that is OP's fault, and therefore responsibility (instead of a best friend etc, colleague etc etc) how? If it were that serious, MIL would cut her holiday short to be there for her daughter. In fact, that would be the preferable choice for SIL, instead of imposing on someone else who clearly has enough on her plate with her husband being away.

You were vile though. What a horrid comment. Just saying the first thought I had. Report away though. Maybe you need to learn a bit of resilience aswell!

I was merely expressing surprise that people don't have any support system at all.
No friends from antenatal etc?
No neighbours or other friends?
No colleagues that you are friendly with?

Exactly. If it were that serious, SIL's own mother would cut short her precious holiday. But no. Lets selfishly inconvenience a mother with a 4 month old baby and 2 children when her husband is away. Seriously, you'd have to be scum imo to be so incredibly selfish that you do that to the OP. What, no best friend? Oh, can't inconvenience best friend, or a colleague, or a neighbour, or even get mum to come back early, oh no! And she'd rather put OP out than take public transport like any other normal human being. Just put it all on the mug enjoying herself on mat leave with 2 older kids and a 4 month old baby. Yeah. Lets inconvenience them instead of being a responsible adult. ffs. 🙄

Seriously? Antenatal class friends who also are only sixteen weeks in to learning how to look after their own child and you’re suggesting they step in to babysit OP’s child?

You don't start classes after the baby

And does the sil have no one either?

Your children's wellbeing is your priority, don't make excuses, grownups will sort themselves out.

There is a reason your post has been removed

Sort yourself out

Nope I did read it and it proves the point that if SIL's situation was such an emergency that a taxi or public transport was not an option then surely her immediate family, i.e her mum and brother would have to change their plans to help her.

FWIW I was 33 weeks pregnant, was diagnosed with a uti AND a chest infection and I got a taxi home from the hospital. DH had gone into hospital with me at 6am but he left for work once he knew I was going to be ok and I told him I was absolutely fine getting a 20 min taxi ride home.

But there is someone in the country that can do it

FWIW it doesn’t matter what you had and what transport you took, you don’t know how serious this UTI is, and considering she is getting an antibiotic drip, it looks like it’s serious.

Yes OP is in the country but she's clearly not the best option because she has a young baby that becomes seriously distressed in the car. It's weird that PPs are suggesting that she leaves her baby with people she doesn't really know in order to drive her SIL, when SIL would supposedly able to just get a taxi.

If SIL was still so unwell that she needed actual care and a chaperone then OP dropping her off at home wouldn't be sufficient anyway would it?