To not want to give lifts with baby in the car

[alwaysfrazzled]

My baby is four months old and is a nightmare in the car. She screams the place down and always drops her dummy which upsets her even more. If I need to go anywhere in the car I make it short journeys and if I have to go anywhere longer than ten mins I always go with someone else in the back.
Sister in law is in hospital and needs a lift home. She stays a half hour drive away so that's an hour round trip.
She would have to sit in the back with the baby but it won't stop the screaming, on the way home would be a nightmare. I hate driving with constant screaming.
I don't want to do it. Would I be unreasonable to suggest she gets the bus home?
My partner is working away so not home to help. Her mum is on holiday. Nobody else can drive her home. Nightmare.

Unfortunately there is absolutely nothing at all, whatsoever that a doctor can do about travel sickness.

It might not be travel sickness though. It might be an ear issue that is affected by the motion.

If that's true then you would know that what I am saying is correct.

Btw, you might want to look up what the word 'emphasis' means in a dictionary. In online communication, emphasis is often used.

*If that's true then you would know that what I am saying is correct.

Btw, you might want to look up what the word 'emphasis' means in a dictionary. In online communication, emphasis is often used.*

No hun, it means I just don't care about arguing the toss with you.👋🏼

Read the OP's posts. This is far more than kids merely hating being in the car. This is a health issue for the baby and also a danger on the roads. SIL is not in hospital (at that point), and is being released, it is selfish of her to place these demands on a mum with a 4 month old newborn baby with she can call a taxi like every other person being released from hospital. It is selfish and wrong of SIL to do this to OP and the 4 month old baby, as well as risk other road users.

@girlmom21 no. It's not.
I have mentioned all this to my health visitor who has suggested she will grow out of it and will get better when she's forward facing but she can't be forward facing yet. Please stop hounding me to seek medical advice. I know my baby to know when she's ill. She hates the car. That's it. I do not refuse to help my baby.
All this seems blown totally out of proportion all over giving my sil a lift home from hospital.

Not sure much comfort and support would be available with a screaming baby sat next to her. She's having AB infusion.

@alwaysfrazzled You know you can't do this, and in fact, it would be wrong of you to do it and make your baby upset and risk other road users. You can't do it. Don't try to justify yourself to the ignorant vipers on here who are trying to talk you into risky dangerous behaviour for a healthy CFer who is being released from hospital and can sit in a taxi.

I'm not hounding you. I was responding to another poster. At 13:21 you insisted you weren't going to the doctor because it's only in the car. Your health visitor isn't necessarily correct, considering the older child has to take medication for such short journeys.

Car journeys shouldn't be so horrendous for the whole family. If they were my children I'd be looking for other causes, but they're not my children.

This might be controversial but I'd give her some calpol so she sleeps on the journey

I'm coming off this thread now. Someone suggests I dose my child up with calpol to give someone a lift home from hospital.
In what world is that ok!? Jesus.

Thank you to all who were helpful and supportive. I am ok with being told I'm unreasonable but the abuse from others saying things like 'poor kids' and calling me selfish and nasty things...had enough.

Rather than going on at the OP why can't SIL arrange a lift with her friends/neighbours

Agreed OP.

My DD would scream and scream until she was sick in the car until she was about 11 months, I had to avoid car journeys it was awful so no I don't think YABU to not pick up your sister, you don't want to put your DD through that stress unnecessarily. She can get a taxi home.

Don't blame you OP, some bonkers replies on this thread. Including those who think a baby should be distressed for an hour because a grown woman would rather not get a cab.

If you sil needs a lift just forewarn her, perhaps if she sat in the back it might help calm your dc down. She's asked you because she needs help

think a baby should be distressed for an hour because a grown woman would rather not get a cab.

Exactly. I know AIBU is bonkers at the best of times. But some of the comments must be from CFing chancers themselves as they are so batshit crazy. Anyone that suggests a mother with a 4 month old newborn baby puts the baby through that, through no gain for them, and risk themselves and other road users, for a lazy CFing chancer who can't phone a taxi like every other person released from hospital does (I took a bus that took 1 hour 10 mins to get home, never occurred to me to ask anyone to put themselves out for me) is not on planet reality.

To all those saying get a taxi, you don't know where they live. Here taxi's are rarer than hens teeth - you need to book weeks ahead and they still cancel on you. Mostly neighbours help neighbours out with hospital runs, airport drops etc because it's got to the point that it's simply not viable to get a taxi, before even considering the cost (and we have poor public transport eg nothing to the hospitals at all)

Should have mentioned that my son grew out of it and slowly increased the time he could stand, about an hour as a one year old.
We adapted.

Best of luck.

SIL doesn't 'need help' @gogohmm is well enough she is being released from hospital, and can call a taxi like everyone else released from hospital does. OP, the baby's own mother, tried sitting in the back, she said so if you read her replies on here. It did not help. SIL needs to stop being so selfish she is putting out a mother and 4 month old newborn baby, and call a taxi. It's really that simple.

I don't think the baby should go but it's hard to believe there is no neighbor, fellow school mum, or other person available who could watch the infant for a while.

Would I be unreasonable to suggest she gets the bus home

I think this is what got people's backs up. Had you mentioned taxi, it would not have sounded as bad.

OP would have said something, it's clear SIL is not where you are. Regardless, it is still not OP's responsibility to put her baby's health at risk and risk her life and other road users lives, with SIL can call a taxi, or get a bus, or train, or get her best friend to pick her up. So many alternatives that ask for a mother of a newborn to risk lives.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock

Not everywhere has plentiful taxis trust me! I have to drive dp to the station at 7am tomorrow because there are no taxis at all between 7am and 10am or 2pm and 4pm due to them contracting with the council for sn school runs. By all I mean both of them, small town

I don’t have time to read every suggestion, but on the off chance it hasn’t been mentioned already, is hospital transport available?
In this area as well as some non emergency ambulances there is a volunteer driver scheme. There is a charge for the driver service, but it is just to cover costs, so much less than a taxi.
Whilst it would be nice if you could help out I don’t blame you for not doing so in your circumstances. I have waited ages in the past when collecting people from hospital.

Some places have a bus from the hospital door and some folk live right outside a bus stop (on two occasions in my life, I have lived opposite a bus stop for a bus that goes right into the hospital grounds so its hardly super rare!).

So the bus suggestion MIGHT be perfectly reasonable - or it could be a long walk to the bus stop at either end and thus unreasonable, we don't know.

I think its reasonable to assume that bus is simply shorthand for 'public transport' and if the OP thinks public transport is a reasonable option, then it probably is, up to her SIL if she wants cheap bus or expensive taxi!

And IV antibiotics are given for multiple reasons - I don't know why everyones lept to the assumption of sepsis, but if a patient were still severely ill with sepsis.. they wouldn't be being discharged!

Why? I took a bus home from my 5.5 weeks IV/PIC line antibiotic Sepsis stint in hospital, mine took 1 hour 10 mins (I live rurally), in fact, it never occurred to me not to. Yeah a taxi is more direct, but a well person being released from hospital should be able to take a bus. Even a train.