Sick to death of hearing about people's cancer

[MiserableCow2022]

I've name changed for this one because I'm pretty sure I'm going to get massive abuse for it but I'm a regular poster.
What the title says, I am sick to death of everybody and their brothers cancer or other appalling disease being postered up in every magazine and newspaper all of the time with week by week progress of their dying. This morning headline news was another "celeb" and her cancer.
I feel sorry for her, I'm not a monster but that's for her and her family to deal with it isn't headline news.
I've had a terrible sad life with lots of abuse and illness and I've lost no less than 9 lovely people who were very close to me over the last three years so I've had loads of grief too on top of my own health problems which I choose not to broadcast to the nation or go on about on mumsnet or facebook.
Isn't life just shit enough for everyone now without reading about people's terminal illnesses every single day - it's enough to make you want to just end it all.
I don't find people like bowelbabe inspiring, she is gone and her children are motherless and we all had to watch her dying and shrinking bit by bit, nor do I find Sarah Beany's bald head refreshing or inspiring.
I just wish they could just keep it it to themselves and their families.
Everytime I look at the papers I think it's going to be me next.
When I grew up people with a terminal illness just got on with it and retreated into the bosom of their families to die and I wish they would do that now. That is certainly what I am going to do.
People will be informed of my terminal decline only after I've gone. I have no intention of rubbing their noses in it everyday.
I want to die with dignity away from the public gaze and not drag anyone else down with me.
I think part of the reason people do the public thing is because they are terrified of dying and can't accept it and going public distracts them.
AIBU?

YANBU

the examples you mention of people on the headlines, partly it's there to help raise awareness, which is good.

But as someone who suffers with health anxiety with my main trigger being cancer, I hate seeing it all too. Especially Bowelbabe, watching her declining so dramatically in the headlines was something really uncomfortable and triggering for me to see.

Statistics say that 50% of UK people born after 1960 will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lifetime. That's half. It would be super weird if you didn't see cancer talked about everywhere.

@bluewanda all you need to do is read through the thread for a few minutes.

I’m recovering from a gastric tumour while being treated for unrelated breast cancer.

I held my mum’s hand while she died from ovarian cancer.

Cancer is shit!

Sadly I am not surprised by this thread though I wish I was. I haven’t found many people to be empathic towards me, I sense their discomfort/distaste/fear so I don’t talk about it.

I don’t like false positivity and prefer being realistic.

Its easy to avoid the celebrity cancer stuff if you want to.

I find comfort in the kindness of strangers in cancer support groups @mumboss1984 and I hope you do too.

The quote is posted above or you could read this thread in site stuff.

I cheerfully tell people I've had cancer all the time. I don't hide it but I'm damned if I'm going to imply I've been on some sort of 'journey' The stigma of breast cancer has long gone. I don't want to see glamorous celebs on Twitter. I look like shit. Good luck to everyone though. Celebs as well

Raising awareness is good but rightly or wrongly I do find it a bit much because I guess it worries me that it could be me one day, selfishly I’d rather not think about that every day when I open the paper. I also feel like if I was battling cancer or a relative was it might be very painful to see that stuff everyday.

Cancer is so very common that everyone knows someone who has cancer, and many people who survived cancer, and some who sadly died of cancer. I just can't see the argument for "raising awareness" meaning that every media and social media outlet needs to be crammed full of stories about cancer or other terminal illnesses. It doesn't mean people who don't want to see them in unexpected places are heartless - the exact opposite infact.

My DH died of bowel cancer 3 years ago, far too young. I now hate cancer with a passion and hope I never have to set foot in another oncology clinic in my life.
I now can't watch any of those intentionally tear-jerking Cancer Research adverts or the little films they play in ad breaks for Bake Off/Stand up to cancer etc. I'm changing the channel the second I see a celeb talking about cancer. I am not running marathons to fundraise or trying to Raise Awareness. I Do Not Want To Think About Cancer. Or have it shoved in my face that other families are losing loved ones too.

So no, OP, YANBU.

I don't so much mind adults who do this but there is so many fb and insta pages set up by parents about their children who are suffering with cancer! I absolutely detest these! These children can't/ are not old enough to give consent to the whole world seeing how ill they are and the effects treatment has had on them! Its so so narcissistic and attention seeking of the parents!

I have mixed feelings about this. I think sometimes people who find out that they are going to die relatively young want the life that’s left to them to matter as much as possible. Locally to me a young man who died from bowel cancer at 45 did a lot of fundraising and this has provided improved care for other cancer patients locally . He also campaigned about treatment options unequally available and wrote an autobiography. It all left a legacy. On the other hand I find posts on social media about grief etc a bit much. I have had losses myself and also had a brief brush with cancer that fortunately for me was cured entirely by an operation. I actually didn’t want to talk about it and very few of my friends know. I think YANBU . I thought most people would jump down your throat and it’s interesting that 50% agree with you. It’s not only cancer, openness about a lot of things has gone too far.

It’s putting pressure on those diagnosed with a serious/ terminal illness to be publicly brave and be a big popular personality too - a lady in our village got given 6 months to live and instead of spending that time with her family she tried to become a local celebrity, doing a public head shave in the middle of the square and only 4 people turned up, then tried to do a crowd funder to send her kids to Disney world and only raised £150.

for every bowel babe there is someone who fails to take the limelight but has no less of a fight to give.

I did read a few pages of it yesterday and thought it was utterly vile. I was actually writing a reply yesterday too, expressing something along those lines, but when I posted I was alerted that the thread had been deleted. Why is it back up?

Have @MNHQ commented on this thread? Because I can’t see anything? I can’t believe it’s allowed to stand, awful.

Again bluewanda you only need to read back for a few minutes. The explanation is on this thread. If you are going to participate on a thread it makes sense to read it?

They've explained their reasoning in detail on another thread, and that's been both posted and linked here.

I’ve now read the first two and last two pages of this thread, which I find incredibly offensive and upsetting. I still can’t find any explanation why such a nasty thread has been allowed to stand. Perhaps you should post your explanation on THIS thread @MNHQ as opposed to another one? Why should people have to wade through a load of posts that they might not want to read? I didn’t think TAAT were allowed on this site.

I 100% agree with you OP. We are all going to have to deal with horrible things its part of life. 1 in 2 people get cancer. I hate the ads on TV. We don't need it shoved down our face at every opportunity. I agree the misery/ grief of cancer is for the person dealing with it and their families. We are all going to have to deal with it at some point either ourselves or close family. We don't need strangers grief rammed down our throats.

Fine, you don't want to click the link I gave you. Here is the explanation, copied and pasted:

"YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · Today 11:54
Hi again @JenniferBarkley thanks for raising this with us. We've had a retrospective look at the moderation decisions here and agree that we were too hasty in removing the thread. Threads that are 'difficult' (for want of a better word) inevitably draw lots of reports but that shouldn't mean we can't have those discussions.
We can also see that lots of posters with personal experience of cancer were in agreement with the OP and it was emerging as an interesting thread. With that in mind, we've reinstated it now and will leave it to stand provided it stays on track.
Obviously, we encourage everyone to report posts you think break our guidelines - and we're thankful to all who do - but if it's a case of just not liking a thread, do bear in mind you have the option to hide it.
Thanks."

That's the most ridiculous reason yet. The lady in your village did what she wanted to do. As is her right. I doubt she felt peer pressure, I really do.

Thanks @JenniferBarkley . I personally think it’s a disgraceful decision and still don’t understand why @MNHQ didn’t post that explanation on THIS thread.

@Ingrainedagainstthegrain oh I’m sorry did you know her? Because I did.

Whatever they need to do to get them through the day. I can't believe you're criticising a parent sharing their experience of hell. They can do without judgement. Fortunately they gain a lot of support and sometimes much needed practical help. One way in which the internet has made the world a kinder place. If you can't say get well soon, scroll on.

It's like compassion doesn't even occur as a potential response.

When you're losing everything and the light of your life is fading from the world, there is a frantic desire to sing the beauty of your child from the rooftops so everyone will know they lived. It's not hard to understand. The star of catastrophe recently wrote a book explaining this excellently which was quite rightly heralded as an important book. Not everyone can manage a book so a social media post is their way. Your position is grounded in judgement and ignorance.

And what evidence did you have that she felt under pressure to do something she didn't want to do? Or was it just you that found it a bit pathetic and projected?

Evidence wtf? I knew her you prick she was a friend.