Sick to death of hearing about people's cancer

[MiserableCow2022]

I've name changed for this one because I'm pretty sure I'm going to get massive abuse for it but I'm a regular poster.
What the title says, I am sick to death of everybody and their brothers cancer or other appalling disease being postered up in every magazine and newspaper all of the time with week by week progress of their dying. This morning headline news was another "celeb" and her cancer.
I feel sorry for her, I'm not a monster but that's for her and her family to deal with it isn't headline news.
I've had a terrible sad life with lots of abuse and illness and I've lost no less than 9 lovely people who were very close to me over the last three years so I've had loads of grief too on top of my own health problems which I choose not to broadcast to the nation or go on about on mumsnet or facebook.
Isn't life just shit enough for everyone now without reading about people's terminal illnesses every single day - it's enough to make you want to just end it all.
I don't find people like bowelbabe inspiring, she is gone and her children are motherless and we all had to watch her dying and shrinking bit by bit, nor do I find Sarah Beany's bald head refreshing or inspiring.
I just wish they could just keep it it to themselves and their families.
Everytime I look at the papers I think it's going to be me next.
When I grew up people with a terminal illness just got on with it and retreated into the bosom of their families to die and I wish they would do that now. That is certainly what I am going to do.
People will be informed of my terminal decline only after I've gone. I have no intention of rubbing their noses in it everyday.
I want to die with dignity away from the public gaze and not drag anyone else down with me.
I think part of the reason people do the public thing is because they are terrified of dying and can't accept it and going public distracts them.
AIBU?

Every time I open a page on chrome uts all about symptoms of cancer then people's journeys with cancer tv adverts, cancer. It's not from being unsympathetic it's about the constant barrage . Makes everyone feel like they are walking around like a ticking timebomb. Even my kids have picked up on it. So I think it's less about the individual people for me and more about the hammering home. God knows how people living with cancer get through the day with the constant reminders

When the stories make people go for the dreaded smear , and other invasive examinations then I think it's a good thing they bring it to the attention of the public.
I don't understand,personally,why it affects you so much,but try to wish them well in your head then move on,don't dwell on it.

@Ekátn Thank you for making me aware it has been reinstated, I will report it again and find out why.

Thank you for reinstating this thread @MNHQ.

If it doesn’t get taken down then it is bang out of order and I will be out of here for good.

Why would they take it down having just reinstated it?

And more to the point why don't you hide it?

@BagOfBollocks Because I had an email from mumsnet stating it had been taken down because of the amount of complaints. Why should I have to hide something that shouldn’t have been allowed in the first place?

I am sure they will tell you to jog on.

MN don’t go by what you think is distasteful.

What’s distasteful is you, thinking that because you don’t like someone’s opinion, it shouldn’t be said. Your threat to leave of you don’t get your own way, is like a child having a tantrum.

Just hide the thread.

Think what you like, it is wrong and has upset a lot of people to satisfy the OP in my opinion.

I agree OP. Some days BBC radio should be renamed BBC Radio Cancer.
We need a proper balance.

@mumboss1984 this is what HQ said about it on the Site Stuff thread. They advise people to hide the thread if they don't want to read it:

"YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · Today 11:54

Hi again @JenniferBarkley thanks for raising this with us. We've had a retrospective look at the moderation decisions here and agree that we were too hasty in removing the thread. Threads that are 'difficult' (for want of a better word) inevitably draw lots of reports but that shouldn't mean we can't have those discussions.

We can also see that lots of posters with personal experience of cancer were in agreement with the OP and it was emerging as an interesting thread. With that in mind, we've reinstated it now and will leave it to stand provided it stays on track.

Obviously, we encourage everyone to report posts you think break our guidelines - and we're thankful to all who do - but if it's a case of just not liking a thread, do bear in mind you have the option to hide it.

Thanks."

Thank you for sharing that.

Thanks for reinstating the thread @MNHQ. As @MistressoftheDarkSide said its ironic that people are trying to silence people from voicing their opinion about the narrative around cancer. I have cancer myself & so do many others on this thread so stop telling me that this thread is offensive to me- it isn’t. What’s offensive is a lot of the narrative in the media around cancer- winning/ losing the battle/ being brave & inspirational etc.

Thanks for posting the explanation @A580Hojas . I think Becky said it well - just because a conversation is difficult doesn't mean it shouldn't be had. I think most people on this thread have tried to express themselves in a considered way.

It should have been allowed, that's why MNHQ have reflected upon their decision and reinstated it.

For every person this thread doesn't help, there are plenty for whom it will.

Exactly, not everyone will like every thread. Not everyone will find a thread good for them. People may find some threads quite upsetting, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be here and allowed to stand.

They do help many others.

Dame Deborah's campaign has saved my life. I've been taken seriously by doctors even though I'm mid thirties.

Another cancer survivor (hopefully) here - and I used to see people’s eyes glaze over. Absolutely agree with you, OP. I now don’t talk about it - it’s just everywhere, yet this gravitas is expected. Yes, it’s sad and is going to fuck up people’s lives, but it’s ubiquitous. There are some really sad cases, though, like the bone cancer that hits young men, and, of course, anything affecting children, but over 50 and with breast cancer? It happens, and it happens a lot.
I think one of the issues is staging. Ductal carcinoma in situ for example - not in the same league as metastasised cancer, but the word “cancer” is still applicable, with all of its potent overtones of tragedy and death. I’ve had people try to “join” me in my journey with survival rates much, much higher than mine, and I just didn’t want to know.
Wanting to shut this thread down is an example of the evocative nature of the word - which is why it sells news, I suppose. People don’t want to accept the reality that many of us find it tedious.

I totally get that @Madeintowerhamlets ·I hate the narrative around 'they won their hard-fought battle', like those that unfortunately lose their lives to cancer don't fight hard enough?

If someone is diagnosed with a serious illness it’s entirely up to them how they deal with it.

A close relative has just been diagnosed with cancer. She only wants her close family to know. I think that’s admirable and we will of course respect her wishes. I hope it never happens but I think I would likely be the same.

I don’t think that makes my relative any better or worse than Deborah James, Sarah Beeny or anyone else who chooses to share their illness. Their actions have undoubtedly raised awareness and helped others. I’m certainly not prepared to criticise someone who is suffering for doing anything to get them through.

I actually really dislike the judgement placed on those who choose to be open about these things. If you want to keep it yourself that’s fine, if you want to rant and rave and cry that’s that’s fine, but there is nothing wrong with talking about an illness in an open and dignified way either if it helps.

I am appalled and will be deleting my account now.

One reason is most of the media in the UK are utter scum who will 'out you' if you don't publicly say it yourself.

I think YANBU but as part of a wider picture where every negative thing that happens to anyone - MH problems, physical health problems etc - has to be rammed down the public’s throat in order to ‘raise awareness’ of it. I understand it’s a big deal for the person going through it, but honestly isn’t life shit enough without an acute awareness of 10494774 illnesses? I panic when DD gets ill because I’ve read so much about sepsis/meningitis etc despite it being relatively rare. Sometimes I wonder if ignorance really is bliss. Whether it was better when dr google and ‘inspirational’ celebs didn’t exist, and people just phoned a doctor if they were really worried but didn’t fall into anxiety spirals before then.

As someone who has had cancer and 13 years in remission I totally disagree with you. When my mother had cancer 30 years ago nobody talked about it and she felt isolated. Awareness can only be a good thing.

@Mercurial123 but to what extent? Awareness can easily become anxiety if we go on about it too much.