Women who don't want kids

[DeadPumpkins]

Is it just me.. or do women who don't want children constantly go on about how much they don't want children?

Nothing against it at all, each to their own and I'm sure I've read that single, childless women are the happiest people which makes sense 😂 but why do they always feel the need to talk about how much they don't want kids??

I would have said YABU as I haven't met any like that (and I have quite a few child-free friends) but a few weeks ago I went to the hen night of a friend getting married in her 50s so most women there were in their 40/50s. One woman spent the whole night starting every sentence with 'I don't have kids but' or 'it's not that I hate kids but' or 'kids aren't my thing but'. Not once did I ask her whether she had kids or not. Potentially a bit of an insecurity there I'd imagine.

I don't think this (last sentence) should have to be qualified. I choose to not have them and that is my business. Whether I like them is also my business; I am kot a monster wither way. The "I like children, honestly" reply is part of the structure of infinite loop of bingos.

Op, does women who bang on and on about theirs kids annoy you as much as a woman saying she is childfree?
Because those people are annoying.

Honestly, I wish I could meet cool childfree women. So we could talk about how awdome we are.

But yes, I agree pp who said that the only time I’ve ever talked about not wanting kids is when people (sadly most of the time other women) insist I must have them, that I’ll regret not having them, that I’m not a woman until I’ll give birth.

Imagine this kind of rudeness!

*not.

I evidently cannot use phone screens.

It all sounds needlessly complicated

No it's really not. If someone mentions they don't have children, you just say "ok"

If someone mentions they are childfree - assume they didn't want any and mind your own business about why

If someone says they are childless - assume fertility problems and mind your own business about why

I've never really talked about it apart from the odd occasion when I was pressed as to why I don't have kids. I'm cool with it, my friends and family are cool with it. I'm cool with them having kids and with my friends who don't. It's just not a big deal really.

'P.s I like children, just to clarify that I'm not a child hating monster'

There is nothing wrong with not liking children. Nothing at all. I don't have children, and enjoy other people's in small doses, but I can completely understand why kids just get on some people's nerves and they don't find being around them enjoyable in the slightest. You shouldn't have to apologise for feeling that way, if indeed you do. I have met many parents who give every indication of feeling the same, and obviously that's much more of an issue!

I think it's when people assume I am not interested too/haven't wanted children like I can just meet someone and reproduce suddenly and it be a good idea...
I do/did, but I haven't met someone and I can't afford to have a child by myself - if I could, then I would!
Circumstances I guess

My best friend told me she didn't want children when we were 17. We've never talked of it since.
She is happily child free and godmother to my daughter.
I can't imagine discussing our choices for one second.

And whatever family unit you've decided on isn't a real family.

We just flap around totally lost and emotionally dead because our families are all wrong and we don't know what love is and have no purpose and no one will take care of us when old and we are missing on all the joy all that while knowing we would be great mothers and our kids would probably be really pretty and smart because good genes.

(All these were actually said by people who bary knew me....)

I've never met a woman who doesn't want kids that offers that opinion randomly.
Where do you meet these women? How does it come up?

Tbh , even if it was true it's the other side of the gushing I love my kids so much ,I can't wait to have kids bla bla bla . So fair enough really.

And not forgetting we're less of a woman and choosing not to fulfil our purpose on this planet (said to me!).

I find women who don’t have children much more refreshing and better company than those who do. I’m a mother to one and aunty to a niece and nephew I’m very close to, but I love being around people who haven’t become consumed by family life and don’t expect to do family friendly things all the time.

I also think it’s weird that we feel compelled to say we like kids. It’s not typical to “like” all members of a particular group. Nobody “likes” the elderly, or “women”, and failing to say as much isn’t taken to mean that you hate them.

I don’t generally like kids - I find them annoying and tedious and have done since I was one. There are specific kids that I do like but that’s about it. It’s not monstrous to not like kids.

I don't like children. I find them too loud (I have sensory issues), I don't know.hoe to speak to them and they suck all the focus from adult conversation.

I don't mind babies, they're funny.

Because people are very insistent about wondering why they don't want them.
My sister and several friends are childless and can think of nothing worse then having them. That's perfectly fine, we don't all need to become parents to feel fulfilled in life. There's still a stigma around not wanting kids which is crazy really.

I'm 53, happily childfree and have never behaved like this. I can honestly say I've never met someone who has either.

I have, however, had to endure many hours of boring talk about little Johnny and his teething problems or stupendous achievements in finger painting. Your children may indeed be a source of endless fascination to you, but they aren't to anybody else.

Why do you need to use any term to address people who happen not to have children?

Do you wonder if parents really wanted their kids or if they were the result of an accident which they now regret?

I have only ever known 2 women like this and they are both very opinionated people who think everything they do is right. If they had kids, they would say the opposite but you would still have to hear all about it.

This. I work with 2 and it’s all they bleat on about.

In my experience women with children can be utterly vile to women without. For a start, they seem to think they have the right to ask why they don’t have them!! I mean, how personal and intrusive can you be? I also get the feeling that women with children WANT those without to be unhappy and unfulfilled. Childless women sense this and so keep their mouths shut. I have never met a childless woman who bragged about it. On the contrary. Most have learned (through bitter experience) to keep quiet. My sister doesn’t have children and has to put up with some unbelievably bitchy remarks.

As a woman who has never wanted kids I have to tell you constantly being when it’s my turn and what a great mummy I’d be is
so incredibly frustrating and boring . Goid
luck to all the mummies and good luck to all the child free women out there .

Have a proudly child free friend so fed up with people (other women with kids) asking her why she doesn’t have/ want them she now answers
‘because I like my sleep, long lay ins, lazy weekends, luxury holidays, meals out, having loads of money, a flat toned stomach/perky tits but mostly a partner who doesn’t complain behind my back every five minutes about the lack of sex in his life’
fair play sister…
my personal bug bear are the professional mc ‘slummy mummys’ ewww cringey

Who knows what their reasons are. I dont really care if they want to have children or not tbh. Im very glad there is less pressure these days to procreate. Loads of my friends are happily childfree and I think its a sensible life choice tbh. That doesnt seem to make them hate an entire demographic of humans though.
The people who go on about how they hate kids and speak insultingly about them and about mothers (rarely fathers) are likely a minority of the childfree, and I definitely got the impression they were trying to be edgelords.
I also find it annoying when people become obsessed with their kids and its their whole identity, but somehow doesnt make me hate all children or decide to ramp it up and be even more of an annoying dick about it myself.