To think you reach an age where getting totally pissed is a bit pathetic?

[ohforthelife]

Maybe I'm missing something?

I enjoy a drink but I'm the sort of person who can have a glass of wine and not need to finish the bottle.

Middle aged DH went out and came home unable to string a sentence together, and couldn't understand why I was irritated. I have no objections at all to him going out, but I just feel when you get past the going out clubbing stage, you should know when you've had enough?

Different horses for different courses.

If he enjoys it and it’s not harming anyone it’s up to him. Fair enough if it bothers you; that’s a relationship issue to work out between the both of you.

@trailrunner85

sounds like they did have fun

during that “oh go on, I’ll have another” and “we don’t do this often! “ they’ll be having a cracking time! 🤣

”over exuberantly repeating themselves” - the horror!

I used to go out a few times a week until I hit my mid 20s.

I had no off limit, I never touched drugs but I was mad about drinking, the amount of dangerous situations I put myself in makes me cringe now.

My other half and I went to a friends wedding abroad this year, we have all been friends since school so we grew up partying with them, house parties, raves etc. I have barely touched a drink for a few years now but being sober whilst watching everyone absolutely battered really was interesting but in a scary way. Watching them all suffering with a hangover around the pool made me glad I don't bother anymore. A glass of wine or a cocktail then moving on to water or a Diet Coke is fine for me.

Well no, I haven’t, but there is a huge difference between having a few drinks and getting a bit loose and then drinking yourself in to oblivion and bed wetting territory. It’s really not all or nothing

Yes it's pathetic and sad and vile when anyone over 25 does this. DH got absolutely fucking rat-arsed when he was about 38/39, some 15-ish years ago. Our 2 kids were 8-9 or so. I took them with me to pick him up from a night out with his mates. He was absolutely out of his head pissed, and couldn't string a sentence together or walk straight. I had to guide him to the car. I put him in the back with one of the kids, the other was in the front with me.

We were about 9 miles away from where we lived, and around 3 miles of that trip was on the motorway. We've been on the motorway for a mile, and DH suddenly decided he wanted to be sick and said 'stop, stop, stop!' I said 'I can't! We're on the motorway!'

So the stupid fucker decided to open the back door and hang out of it, with one of our children in the back and me going 55 miles an hour on the motorway! I could have absolutely murdered him! I slammed the brakes on, and pulled over onto the hard shoulder. He piled out onto the floor at the side of the motorway, and started vomiting everywhere

I was so tempted to just leave him there. I could have killed him. I dragged him back into the car. The kids were terrified. They'd never seen him like that before. I went home the other three miles or so, left the car on the drive, and took the kids in. He was still there the next morning, six hours later. Lying on the drive.

When he sort of came round at 7am, he said 'I've got a headache!' I said. 'You're lucky I don't fucking stop you from seeing the kids after last night! You put our childrens lives in danger last night with you getting so fucking rat-arsed, and opening the back door of the car when we were on the motorway! You were a disgrace!'

He claimed he couldn't remember a thing. But this was like 15 years ago. And he's never done anything like that since. I can remember that night vividly, and so do the kids. But DH says he doesn't remember a thing. Not sure if I believe him. But yes, anybody over 25 getting rat-arsed, and completely pissed, til they can't even stand up straight, just looks pathetic and sad. It's not a good look at ANY age, but past mid 20s, it's a hideous look.

LOL

I had a massive hangover. Had loads of fun last night with my lovely friends who are all a brilliant laugh. You all sound miserable and judgey. I don't see any harm in getting wasted with my friends. It's fun.

I'm amazed how many execs do coke. My friend runs a cleaning business and tells me some interesting stories.

Best recent one was involving a new cleaner who apparently sniffed a line of what was left on the table the next day after a big party she was cleaning up after. The homeowner called up my friend furiously complaining that he'd seen her do it on the lounge camera and my friend said "oh, I'd better call the police and get them over". Of course he wasn't very keen on that. 😂

Have lol

The only time I have too many is unintentional eg not eaten enough and misjudge the effect
I absolutely hate the feeling so try and avoid at all costs
As an earlier poster said if I could have the taste with zero alcohol I would but have tried many and not found anything I like
The 0 alcohol spirits taste odd and pointless and all the white wines might as well be shloer
I don’t drink beer or red wine
Any suggestions welcome - reduced alcohol would be a better option but it’s hard to find

Pathetic and utterly repugnant. When people are swaying and breathing their winey/beery breath all over you. YUCK!

You all sound fun

Maybe, but then you get past that and stop caring what anyone thinks. That's the best bit.

TBH I have reached the age where it takes me 48 hours to recover from drinking more than half a bottle of wine so, you know, it's self-limiting. The point about being drunk is you only seem charming and witty to other drunk people so there's no point if everyone around you is stone cold sober.

@trailrunner85 exactly this. And you'll find that by the late 40s/50s those who still drink to excess will either be full blown alcoholics, going through or having gone through rehab, or dead. I had two friends who were told in their 40s that if they didn't stop drinking they would die. One did. The other died.
I hardly drink at all now (I'm nearly 60), but as a student and into my late 20s I did drink to excess on occasions. I stopped when trying to conceive and never really got drunk again. I enjoy the odd drink, but prefer quality over quantity.
I also remember in my late 20s beginning to spot dysfunctional drinking amongst some friends - the one who would always offer to go to the bar (because he could get a double in while waiting for the drinks), the one who threw a tantrum if we chose a restaurant that wasn't licensed. In my opinion if someone carries on drinking like a student beyond about 25, it can be a problem.

I'll never forget being at Paddington station at about 7 one morning very close to Christmas. There was a middle aged man in smart work suit, still holding his briefcase, lying in the middle of the concourse covered in vomit. He'd obviously had too much at the office Christmas party the night before! Some policemen woke him up and he had to get up and get himself home. What a stupid fucking idiot.

I also remember in my late 20s beginning to spot dysfunctional drinking amongst some friends

Dysfunctional is the word. And this assumption that people are somehow uptight or not fun if we don't drink much. Tbh I think those of us who can dance on the tables, have a laugh, relax, catch up with friends etc without being smashed are more fun than those who need a bottle of wine to get up the courage.

What you also see is the inability to stop. People who at the beginning of the night swearing they'll have one or two, then loosening up and having fun ... but then carrying on and on and on til it's not fun any more. Most of us learn how to find our limit at some point but lots don't. And obviously it's fine if you're not harming anyone but for most people I know in this boat, it genuinely affects their families.

I have one friend who breezily told me she can't bring her DDs to junior parkrun on a Sunday morning - even though they desperately want to go - because she's always too hung over and still over the limit to drive at 8.30am on a Sunday. Every week. For me that's a point where you should perhaps be thinking about reining it in. But ha ha ha, what a laugh, let's open another bottle eh ..

I think there are lots of degrees of pissed here.
Some people seem to think that getting pissed on occasion means you're an alcoholic or have issues with alcohol and will die in your 4os or 50s.

I lived with a full on alcoholic in my early 20s. It was utterly miserable and made me v twitchy about subsequent boyfriends drinking.

On occasion dh will get pissed. It annoys me a lot, but I'm fully aware that that's because I am not pissed. Equally, if I've been out and ended up drinking too much (day time to night is always deadly, because you assume you'll be back by about 9, but you don't), he's entitled to be annoyed with me. But as I tend to toddle off to bed, it doesn't affect him too much. I was much more sensible in my late 20s and early 30s.

Other than that, I'm a healthy eating gym bunny. I reckon the vegetarian diet and exercise counteracts the occasional blow out.

I have one friend who breezily told me she can't bring her DDs to junior parkrun on a Sunday morning - even though they desperately want to go - because she's always too hung over and still over the limit to drive at 8.30am on a Sunday. Every week. For me that's a point where you should perhaps be thinking about reining it in. But ha ha ha, what a laugh, let's open another bottle eh ..

Awful. The whole "wine o'clock" culture plays into this as well. Normalising dysfunctional drinking. You might think that if alcohol is routinely being prioritised over what their families need a penny might drop somewhere...

I now think people who want to get totally pissed are pathetic regardless of their age and I tend to give them a wide berth. But when you're young, enjoying life, searching for a mate etc its more understandable. If you're in your 40s and 50s and doing this several times a month its pretty desperate.

Our neighbours are like this. In their fifties and always joking about getting drunk, how much they drink etc.
Both of them always out socialising too. Alright for some to have all that money to spare....

I had 'The Last Hangover' when I was 29 (pre-kids) and haven't been drunk since.
I have never been so sick in all my life. That time never again, really did mean never again.

I only have a max of 3 drinks over the course of an evening now, always with food.

What a load of sanctimonious twaddle. Of course anyone doing it regularly isn't doing themselves any good, but letting your hair down now and again isn't going to kill you, it might even be good for you.

Last time I got really drunk was with a group of 50 something friends the evening after we'd run a mountain marathon. No one's doing it every weekend, but they all love a good blow out.

I think falling over unable to function drunk is embarrassing whatever age you are.

I am lucky I don't get like that.

Being merry drunk is fine any age providing you do so safely and the are no health complications impacted by drinking.

@Superwash I really didn't mean to come across as sanctimonious - I should have been clearer that I meant those who are getting very drunk more than a couple of times a week, or who drink daily. I wouldn't begrudge anyone a blowout - you certainly deserve one after a mountain marathon!

@Thepeopleversuswork

its not a “family need” to go to park run at 8.30am on a Sunday morning!

most people like a lie in on a weekend morning , booze or no booze !