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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you reach an age where getting totally pissed is a bit pathetic?

202 replies

ohforthelife · 05/11/2022 07:05

Maybe I'm missing something?

I enjoy a drink but I'm the sort of person who can have a glass of wine and not need to finish the bottle.

Middle aged DH went out and came home unable to string a sentence together, and couldn't understand why I was irritated. I have no objections at all to him going out, but I just feel when you get past the going out clubbing stage, you should know when you've had enough?

OP posts:
VioletPickles · 05/11/2022 07:46

PAFMO · 05/11/2022 07:44

I've seen (today alone) two threads about being drunk that read as if 16 year olds have written them. And very immature 16 year olds at that.

I used to get drunk. I've been ill through being drunk. But not for the last 25 years.

I also (this was mentioned on one of the other threads) find the "hilarity" of being out of control drunk very disturbing. On the WIWIKAU Facebook page, in September, there was lots of crying with laughter at parents sending their kids off to university with personalised sick bowls for when they'd had too much to drink. A month in, and those posts have been replaced by posts from traumatised parents whose kids have been taken to A&E because they've drunk too much, had their drinks spiked, been beaten up and robbed and in one case, left university completely because no didn't mean no.

If parents (presumably) on here and elsewhere are so invested in alcohol, then there's no wonder that their kids let loose at university end up the same.

WIWIKAU?

Itisbetter · 05/11/2022 07:47

It’s always been a bit pathetic whatever your age. Young things presumably learn that through experience, I’m not sure older people have any excuse really.

Bestcatmum · 05/11/2022 07:48

Nobody past their 20s should be getting so drunk they can't function its just horrible. I have a few friends in their 40s and 50s who can't have an evening with friends without sinking 3 bottles of wine and throwing up. There is nothing more tedious than spending the evening with someone who is pissed and slurring their words.
9

trailrunner85 · 05/11/2022 07:54

You can buy loads of good alcohol free wine. Frexinet do a fantastic range

I really wish they did but Frexinet is awful. Lots of alcohol-free beer is good these days but the wine is undrinkable.

PAFMO · 05/11/2022 07:55

@VioletPickles it's a FB page for prospective university students/parents. As its FB which apparently no young people use, it tends to be mainly parents posting, anything from best place to buy a mattress topper to daughters feeling they need to leave because a drunk male student didn't take no for an answer.

ChakaKhanfan · 05/11/2022 07:55

My husband does this once a month, he goes out with friends to karaoke. They are all good singers, and don’t go with the intention of getting drunk, but over a five hour period he always comes home tiddly. He is a giggly drunk though so it’s funny not annoying and he isn’t never plastered/ill drunk.

I also go out with my pals, although don’t really drink that much, I can’t tolerate the headache, so I don’t really ever get drunk. I would if I could get through the hangover though!

iloveeverykindofcat · 05/11/2022 07:59

I absolutely am judgemental about this. Getting so drunk you are ill and/or a liability is pathetic after college. There's a lot of dysfunctional drinking in UK society.

IntrovertedPenguin · 05/11/2022 08:01

YANBU. I find it very cringey when I see people like that. I always imagine they must have quite a sad life to feel the need to get that pissed up at that age.

Mind you I'm not really a drinker, I'll have one or two rums and that's me done.

Greenginghamdress · 05/11/2022 08:03

My partner does this most weekends when he goes to the football. It's tiresome.
Same old cycle. Gets drunk, plays loud music, orders a huge takeaway, stays in bed until lunch time the next day. He can put away 30 units in a few hours, easily. It's worrying.

I've no problem with having a a drink but I have a mental block as I have DD to look after.
I overdid it all when I was young anyways. Happy just to have a couple of beers and a glass of wine at the most. Maybe once or twice a year I'll have more.
Late 30s by the way.

iloveeverykindofcat · 05/11/2022 08:06

He can put away 30 units in a few hours, easily.

Are you serious? Does he realize this could kill him? The Van Tulleken twins (sp?) did a documentary where one of them drank 21 units in a few hours one night a week and wore a monitoring device overnight. There was a point at which his blood alcohol was high enough to cause sudden death.

Original poster
ohforthelife · 05/11/2022 08:14

Looks like it's a 50/50 split between "live and let live" and "yes it's pathetic"...

We don't have dc at home (but he did used to get drunk when we did, which annoyed me even more)

I guess I was particularly irritated because we are going out today.

OP posts:
TrippyLily · 05/11/2022 08:16

I always get made to feel really inexperienced and naive when I tell people I've never been very drunk. I don't like it, never have. I used to take LSD occasionally for my mental health and was told by someone who got wasted every other weekend and always had multiple grazes and bruises (which she found hilarious) that I was being reckless. Despite the fact that it was always with a sober friend and very safe. She has been groped multiple times, still continues to binge drink every couple of weeks and thinks it is hilarious to flash her boobs to police cars and snog as many men in a night as she can for a laugh. We are both in our 30s. I hate it. I hate this attitude to drinking. It's embarrassing.

Meseekslookatme · 05/11/2022 08:21

Olivetreebutter · 05/11/2022 07:45

Alcohol free beer has improved a lot recently but alcohol free wine and spirits are abominable. I work in the industry and I wouldn't touch them (but have tried almost all on the market). Just drink flavoured tonic or grape juice!

Show quote history

Absolutely this!
Alcohol free Guinness is amazing, some beers are OK, but the rest of it is awful. Zero alcohol gins are overpriced (avoid the Gordon's, might as well have squash, the tanqueray is reasonable)

Newgirls · 05/11/2022 08:25

I have a couple of mates who still drink to the point of not making sense and both definitely have issues they haven’t dealt with. They are both lovely people and much nicer sober

slowquickstep · 05/11/2022 08:29

FatOaf · 05/11/2022 07:17

To think you reach an age where getting totally pissed is a bit pathetic?

Yes. 19.

Totally agree

MsBehaviour · 05/11/2022 08:31

I stopped drinking in my early forties. I was someone who didn’t have an off switch, and there came a point when I realised I had to stop completely. I stopped for a lot of reasons, but definitely one of them was the realisation that a drunk 40 yr old, slurring their words, losing their wallet, saying stupid drunken things and then wasting a day hungover in bed was not a healthy way of life and certainly wasn’t as a good look.

You can share this stuff off as youthful misadventure at 22. Not so much at 42. It starts to feel a bit sad.

MsBehaviour · 05/11/2022 08:32

shake this stuff off

FatOaf · 05/11/2022 08:32

They are both lovely people and much nicer sober

But regularly and deliberately make themselves objectionable?

saleorbouy · 05/11/2022 08:35

Once you hit your 20,s and have gone past the discovering alcohol stage you should be able to have some self awareness and control to not get completely inebriated, especially if you have parental responsibilities.
He sounds like a bit daft, carry on regardless and let him suffer the hangover.

Newgirls · 05/11/2022 08:36

I don’t think they can help it 🤷‍♀️

Triffid1 · 05/11/2022 08:38

I can't remember the last time I got v drunk but I really don't think it's that big a deal if he doesn't do it often. He was drunk but doesn't sound like he was being horrendous? I certainly come home sometimes having clearly had a drink but a good night's sleep and I am fine.

But if you had plans today that will now be ruined would annoy me . Is he going to be so hungover you will have to change them? Or will he be fine?

ScrambledOrPoached · 05/11/2022 08:41

I could have written your post OP bits just so incredibly childish isn’t it, and so unattractive. You hit a stage where you need to grow up, and getting so blottoed you can’t stand is incredibly pathetic.

Withnoshoes · 05/11/2022 08:43

I can’t get drink enough to get proper drunk these days but I don’t really judge anyone else’s actions on their age to be honest. Each to their own.

My partner can put a few pints away but not so he is falling over drunk. Maybe max 5/6. So not an issue for us anyway.

Hancox432 · 05/11/2022 08:44

I'm 32 now and just the idea of going to work or dealing with the kids with a hangover is enough for me never to get wasted again :)

User839516 · 05/11/2022 08:47

I agree OP, I find it pretty pathetic as well. We went to stay with friends a while back and they got so embarrassingly pissed, as if we were all still students, and were too hungover the next day to drag themselves out of bed to see us off. I felt mortified for them - grow up already!

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