Anyone else’s nursery pulling this stunt at the moment?

[Skinnermarink]

Let me preface this by saying I KNOW nursery work is hard and it’s long and it’s woefully underpaid. It was a long time ago but I’ve worked in one myself. I can totally see why there’s a recruitment crisis with it at the moment.

DS is one and we thought we’d found a good nursery. Long established, nice staff etc. I wasn’t keen on sending him at all because I wanted him at home with me but it’s not financially viable. So four days a week he goes, at a cost of £1100 a month.

The amount of calls we’ve had to go and collect him over something or other have ramped up in the past eight weeks to the point of ridiculousness. They include

-a temperature that we never managed to catch at home and he was completely well. That happed 3x
upset stomach that magically we never saw at home, but came with a 48 hour exclusion. This went on for weeks. At worst he had a few soft nappies, certainly nothing anyone could describe as diarrhoea. I eventually got a stool sample to clear him for this at their insistence before they’d have him back. He missed days and days of nursery for this.

Teething pain which meant he was ‘not himself’ (I didn’t collect for this, as he was playing, eating and drinking, and I told them I wasn’t going to collect for something as flimsy as this and they were welcome to give calpol)

a head injury that we had to come immediately for or they’d call an ambulance, threw myself into a taxi in sheer panic to find him running around with a tiny bump on his head, but they wanted me to take him home to be checked out and not return him for 24 hours. I’m not under reacting by the way, it really was in no way anything other than a typical toddler bump.

This week has been the final straw. He had his MMR vaccine last week and developed a few tiny spots- a side effect listed on the NHS website. They called and said we had to collect and he couldn’t return today unless a doctor cleared the ‘rash’.

Luckily our GP is fab and had him in this morning, cleared him in seconds with a note so I took him straight to nursery because I had to get to work. There were already 9 babies in the room, mine would take it to ten. 3 members of staff. They looked pissed off and a bit panicked and said he couldn’t come in unless I had a doctor’s clearance - which I produced. The manager was called down who said they had staff sickness but she would be covering herself until an agency worker arrived.

I felt shit leaving him to be honest but it’s no exaggeration to say our jobs have been on the line due to dropping things to pick him up, staying off with him at short notice etc. we’ve used practically all remaining annual leave we had for Christmas so that’s scuppered plans to visit family. We don’t have any outside help, it’s just us, no grandparents to call in an emergency etc.

So I want to know has anyone else been in this situation? I’m not being paranoid (although I did tell myself I was at first) and I honestly think they have to pick babies to send home to stay within the ratios and then hope they stay off the next day.

I’ll add that DS has been genuinely unwell with things on occasion and of course we’ve kept him off. But we are at our absolute limit now and have pissed hundreds up the wall on unnecessary pick ups and days off.

Think I have found an alternative setting and are looking on Monday, but they have no availability until January.

As for cheap food, uneaten sliced apple/cucumber was served again next day or even the day after that; I refused and threw it away.

I overheard the catering staff talking about my nursery's food. They have a budget of 34 pence per child per day. Not counting staff/power costs. This is at a higher end setting.

And saying the kids had done special singing classes, or French lessons or baking. Mostly a load of bollocks. The staff don’t want a huge mess to clean up so usually give the impression of the kids having fun to get the photos. A more realistic view was the staff standing about chatting about blokes or their night out while the kids sit around the toys. Or staff having a snooze on the floor when hungover. Pay staff shit pay that’s what happens. Not the parents fault, not the government. Just greed .

34p per child per day?! I mean unless you’re trapping pigeons in the park to put into ‘chicken’ casserole and robbing an allotment on the way in, that is just not possible.

Christ, where did you work? I hate stuff like this - in most nurseries you’d absolutely NEVER get away with sleeping on the floor hungover or blatant lies about special classes that haven’t taken place.

That’s why it’s annoying that we’re paid so poorly - because the majority of us work really hard doing difficult work with high expectations.

Although I agree with the food. Absolute joke in every nursery I’ve ever worked in. Tiny little portions, cheapest of everything, casseroles where you literally stir the gravy round the bowl trying to find a shred of chicken or something inside. And the menu given to parents really doesn’t reflect that because of course you read ‘chicken and veg stew’ and think ‘ahh lovely, that’s a nice winter meal for my little Jacob.’ But what you don’t see is that it’s more chicken and veg stew flavoured water.

Every one of my kids got sent with a packed lunch to nursery.

Unfortunately it was something I saw more than once in various settings. Sometimes apprentices just don’t enjoy the work, they are chucked in at the deep end without sufficient support. When they start they think it’s going to be cute babies and easy and fun. Can turn out to be quite the opposite when they are left holding multiple babies

If you were the qualified member of staff watching it then that’s another issue. I’ve never seen an apprentice lying on the floor hungover, but if I did I’d report it immediately - for my own sake above anything else.

Try being vegan, it's hilarious. Basically you have to drop entire food packages, some places willing to buy Quorn, Linda

Not lying on the floor but sitting legs stretched out with shoulders and back propped up. I can promise you, sleeping off the night out which they’d returned from a few hours prior. Yes there was action taken- warning

Oh okay - so not ‘snoozing on the floor’ then. Just sitting on the floor. And as action was taken I presume this wasn’t an accepted part of the company culture, more just a specific poor employee.

yes sleeping. Sorry you aren’t able to reduce my experience to something you find acceptable but there were many many similar examples of behaviour and conduct issues across other settings. And no I wasn’t accountable

OP - can you swap days so that you don’t need your DS to go on a Wednesday? Even years ago when mine were at nursery it was always the busiest day (really common day for part timers to work)?

In answer to your question I never had this problem with nursery, they were pretty sensible and called about as often as school did (so when very probably poorly) but that was 10 years ago. I know that some of my team at work are currently having the same problems as you are; constant calls, child doesn’t seem ill on collection, Doctors note required before being allowed to return etc. Noticed someone upthread mentioned Bright Horizons, colleague who uses them seems to be having a particularly bad time and is looking to move her child for the same reasons as you.

Do you mind me asking where this was in the UK? That’s concerning

Omg what?! That’s awful.

I know my children are well fed and have yummy food at the CM I use, they really look forward to meals and I think a considerable chunk of money is spent on it.

I see meal delivery vans pulling up to nurseries around here and I’ve always assumed it’s good quality.

It's more expensive to pay for a dog to go into doggy daycare than a child to go into nursery. Think on that. People are willing to pay more for their pet than their child without complaint. So crazy.

Personally, I think each child under five should be given the money for childcare that government would offer for funding and then give nurseries the freedom to charge fees without restrictions so they can cover their costs for their own setting. Perhaps then the market would be more fair and each child would still get the same funding money and nurseries could stay open as they can meet their overheads.

Is it? I pay £20 for doggy daycare including collection and delivery, my nurseries day rate is £62.50….
With funded hours for my eldest it’s still £31 a day.

What doggy day care is charging upwards of £1100 a month?!

And it’s not a question of not being ‘willing’ to pay more- we can’t. It’s a huge struggle as it is.

Around here it’s more expensive for nursery naturally. However I agree with your point that people just don’t want to pay a decent hourly rate for childcare.

Won’t or can’t? Childcare is already pricing women out of work. They can’t afford to
work. I’m not sure how you’ve reached the conclusion they’re unwilling to pay.

Again, there are many posters complaining about £9 an hour childcare. If a low wage is earned and there’s genuine need then benefits are given.

It is not childcare pricing women out of work ffs. What is an acceptable hourly rate to you?

Are you reading the costs involved for nurseries?

Other countries governments subsidise and therefore incentivise women to work. The issue isn’t the daily rate of nurseries and to be honest people want to pay a pittance for their childcare, fees that they wouldn’t work 50 hours per week for.

So again, it’s not the hourly rate of childcare that’s the problem. When will this get through I wonder?

Childcare is absolutely pricing women out of work!! I can’t understand how you can’t see that. If the hourly rate for nurseries should be higher, than this should be subsidised by the government. We are way behind in this compared to almost every other country in Europe.

I go to work for a pittance really once childcare, commute costs and mortgage/food/bills come out. It’s JUST ABOUT worth me working- only just. If I could, I’d Jack it in while DS is still so small and not rely on a nursery in the first place.

I don’t know what fantasy land you live in @Tillsforthrills that working parents have all these options available to them, financially and practically.

If you’ve any interests in learning about the actual issues and just your own perception listen to this podcast.

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001ddw9

Oh, and I went on the Pregnant Then Screwed March and although there was an amazing turnout, it received practically no attention or press whatsoever, because society as it is right now couldn’t give a shiny shit about the struggles working parents or the childcare they rely on are facing.

I temped in one place that employed a cook who came from a Michelin starred restaurant. Food was very good. Another place had food I would happily pay £15 for in a restaurant. One dish was chicken in creamy sauce topped with chopped fresh tarragon!

But... one major chain sometimes did starter and main rather than main and pudding. (I don't agree with that but won't go into that now.) For their starter one day they had "garlic bread", which was half a slice of cheap white bread slightly impregnated with garlic butter.
Another tiny nursery had all kinds of exciting menus. Lunch would come around and it was chips, beans and value ham. Or mash, mixed veg and nuggets. No relation to the menu at all. It closed.
My current nursery do no added salt when cooking. The sausages however, were so cheap and full of salt I could hardly eat one.

The problem is that parents never get to experience the food in their nursery so there's not the incentive to be good. Just to sound good.
(For a similar reason many nurseries are taking advantage of the Covid 'dropping off at the door' rule and have carried it on. If parents can't come into the nursery they can't check the quality, so you don't need it. My advice is never use a nursery that doesn't let you in.)

My other bug bear is nurseries giving children food that's healthy but that they don't like. One nursery did natural yogurt with fresh crushed raspberries. It was so sour it was inedible. My current one likes to give babies dry pita bread with hummus, and crudités: hard carrot sticks, cucumber sticks, and tomatoes. One child once ate a tomato. One or 2 like the other things, but mostly tea that day is dry strips of pita. Healthy food that children don't eat is not good for them. It just looks good on the menu.