Sat here crying about DD’s behaviour

[Cantfeelmuchthesedays]

I can’t take much more of it.
She woke up at 6 am, shouting she wanted to go downstairs, kicking me in my back.
Asking me to help her to do things and then getting angry as I’m doing it wrong. Constantly reacting and shouting and screaming. Following the dog around annoying her.
She’s not very pleasant anymore, at all and it’s causing huge problems between Dh and I, he’s stressed at work then comes home to shouting and screaming and taking ages at bedtime to sleep etc. Weekends are hell also.
We don’t have much patience anymore and I’m starting to dread waking up, my only peace is when I’m asleep.
I just don’t know what to do and if any of this is normal and a phase and will pass or something else. Taking her out is a nightmare, spending the day at home for 12 hours is worse.
As awful as it sounds, I miss my old life so very much, I don’t enjoy motherhood anymore and don’t know what happened to my lovely girl, I don’t know if we’re to blame or if it’s normal and we’re not emotionally strong enough.
Will this just be our lives now

@nononononovom I'm worried about the abrupt change into such anger and aggression.

Unfortunately no but they have recently started a new specialist school which I'm hoping will help things, btw my boys are on the severe end of adhd so don't panic too much! They are 7 and only recently been diagnosed which is why I said about getting it looked into sooner rather then later!

Wondering how things have gone since and saw a post from one of my favourites, Dr Vanessa Lapointe on FB and copied information you!
Let your child come undone, notice that anger; don't add to it, but simply be there for them.
A lot of it is about being ok with and accepting the feeling, which I think you are resisting/finding really hard. She's worth a follow and I highly recommend her book to anyone here who is interested. It's Discipline without Damage and she uses lots of real life examples of being the calm leader.

I, rightly or wrongly, might have treated the couch incident differently and I know people will disagree which is fine. I think I might have just said 'Oh wow you really want that seat' and either moved or moved on but later, when calm, had the chat about asking for things nicely and nobody owning seats while simultaneously thinking of our very much 'our seats' in this house Acknowledging when she does ask for things nicely too, of course.

How are you doing CantFeelMuchTheseDays?