Friend outed me - AIBU?

[Somefriend0]

I posted about something happening in my life (NC for this). Think a big life event with family drama becoming a problem. Some of the info was quite personal, but not identifying I thought!

Friend saw this, guessed it was me, and brought it up over dinner in front of 8 other people at the weekend. All friends and their partners, some are quite new relationships so I don't know them all that well. I denied it because she was talking about personal stuff I did not want other people knowing, but she just kept on going like a dog with a bone.

Our friends were obviously uncomfortable and I was just in shock.

I've known this girl since I was 5 and she's never done anything like this before. She is competitive and loves to get one up on people, but it's usually pretty harmless stuff.

I'm angry, embarrassed, and I feel like my privacy has been invaded. Yes it's a public forum but the whole point is that it's anonymous. I feel so hurt.

I kept a lot of things vague and any details would be pretty common things. Lesson learned though, be careful.

YABU - it's not a big deal, let it go.
YANBU - she was way out of line.

Maybe she'll even see this but I don't care!

👋🏼 <waves> at OP’s ex-friend.

I wouldn't have admitted it privately either.
Just ammo to use against you later.
Imagine she didn't blab in front of everyone but came to you privately and you were honestly and then 4 weeks later in a group she blabbed to the group.

I hope she is reading this. She is a bitch of the highest order, get rid.

YANBU to be upset. However, as you say, it’s a public forum. Once that information is out there, anyone can do anything they like with it. You’ve learnt the hard way that this person clearly isn’t your friend, sorry about that.

Wow, that is pretty low of her. I would strongly consider whether I wanted to keep her as a friend OP.

I found someone I know IRL on here, they had posted about something very personal. I haven't told a soul or brought it up to them as if they wanted me to know they would have told me.

Are you the "friend"?

If i ever see anything here and recognise tje poster, id never ever bring it up. It's a shitty thing to do

I hope your “friend” does see this and guess it is you. She is a complete and utter c@@t, and by the responses on here she will maybe realise that.

Do you have any information on her, that she wouldn’t want other people to know? If you have, definitely bring it up in front of a group of people she wouldn’t want to know. It maybe tit for tat, which I wouldn’t normally suggest, but she deserves whatever she now gets!

V unkind of her.

She's no friend.

Have you spoken to her since? Confronted her about what she did?

@emptythelitterbox - lol, no I'm not the friend. I think the friend is a bitch. I'm just saying (from experience) that the solution to online drama is never going to be more online drama.

She was pretty rotten to go on and on like that. I'd shun her.

What a cow sure everyone who listened to her agreed aswell have you spoken to her I would say you really embarrassed me in front of everyone bringing that up as if it was me when it wasn't (or was) even if it was me why the fuck would I want everyone knowing and why the fuck do you think it is reasonable to bring it up. Have you no sense morals or care? Fuck off friend you are no friend of mine

There’s a word for her and it actually isn’t a word I like but she’s a bitch

That was a shitty thing of her to do.

I hope she's reading this too so she knows how shitty everyone thinks she is.

If she was any kind of decent person, she would have brought it up privately to let you know that she thought it was you.

Or just kept her mouth shut!

After all - if OP had wanted people to know she would have told them. The very fact that "whatever-it-was" was posted on an anonymous forum says that it was something OP wanted to keep private.

Agree.

As entertaining as this is, I have to agree. I'm expecting a thread from the loose lipped friend to appear shortly in Active with her side of the story.

A can of worms is now open, worms everywhere

I would NC anyway so that this nasty woman can't search for aand follow any other threads - except this one where she can see what a "See-You-Next-Tuesday" everybody thinks she is.

@Somefriend0 - she has embarrassed herself, not you. Not a single person in that room will trust her with any information, ever. Nor will they want to have her anywhere near even the most innocent of gossip.

They will see her for the vile piece work that she is.

As entertaining as this is, I have to agree. I'm expecting a thread from the loose lipped friend to appear shortly in Active with her side of the story.

I would not be at all surprised to see that happen or for her to appear on this thread. It seems to be the way things are going today.

Well maybe using your logic she is not a monster back stabbing cunt. But she is then monumentally stupid because there is a code and the code says you engage your brain and don’t blab about this sort of thing in public.

But I wouldn’t be prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt on this. She read a post, thought about it, remembered it and then chose to share that she felt it sounded like OP over dinner with friends. It sounds deliberate and cunty to me.

Wow, your 'friend' is a complete dick!!

There is a code

I thought there was a code that no one admits being a Mumsnetter in real life too! It's my guilty secret.
What is wrong with the woman? Was she so drunk at this dinner party she'd gone into a black out/ taken leave of her senses.

I would have found it excruciating to hear about a mumsnet thread around the dinner table particularly if a guest looked embarrassed. To continue humiliating someone is verging on psychopathic.
Painful.

YANBU. I rarely post threads because I’m always paranoid someone will figure out it’s me and expose it. You should have been able to rely on this friend to keep your confidence.

I’d keeping my distance from them.