Friend outed me - AIBU?

[Somefriend0]

I posted about something happening in my life (NC for this). Think a big life event with family drama becoming a problem. Some of the info was quite personal, but not identifying I thought!

Friend saw this, guessed it was me, and brought it up over dinner in front of 8 other people at the weekend. All friends and their partners, some are quite new relationships so I don't know them all that well. I denied it because she was talking about personal stuff I did not want other people knowing, but she just kept on going like a dog with a bone.

Our friends were obviously uncomfortable and I was just in shock.

I've known this girl since I was 5 and she's never done anything like this before. She is competitive and loves to get one up on people, but it's usually pretty harmless stuff.

I'm angry, embarrassed, and I feel like my privacy has been invaded. Yes it's a public forum but the whole point is that it's anonymous. I feel so hurt.

I kept a lot of things vague and any details would be pretty common things. Lesson learned though, be careful.

YABU - it's not a big deal, let it go.
YANBU - she was way out of line.

Maybe she'll even see this but I don't care!

That is a really insensitive, nasty thing for her to do.

Publicly outing you and being so persistent about it makes it seem like your life and personal problems are a source of entertainment for her.

She a bitch. Hope she recognises you today from this friend and realises that.

She's no friend. It sounds like everything has to be about her. Must be a ball ache to be around!

What a chopper she is.

What a dick. The only motivation for her to do something like that is to embarrass you. No normal person would purposefully make someone uncomfortable like that and not back down when you said it wasn't you.

Fortunately now everyone at that table knows she's a grade A bitch and not to be trusted. So she's done you a favour as now you know and she's also made herself look like an idiot in the process.....bonus!

😂

even if you recognise someone as if you’d raise it in a dinner party. Maybe privately ask if you’re ok etc, but to try and humiliate a friend, disgusting behaviour. Shame on you if you’re reading this ‘friend’

She’s not your friend. I can perhaps understand if you raised a similar issue and she said oh I saw similar thread on mumsnet and advice was x. But to say I saw your post in front of lots of people then carry on insisting when you denied it isn’t on at all.

Mean and shitty way to behave... but now she pretty much has written confirmation that she was right, and it was you...

So what?

OP's done nothing to feel ashamed of.

Dear friend, except that you are not a friend. You are a nasty attention seeking bitch.

Did that make you feel good to try and humiliate her like that?

If you are reading this then take your mouth to the toilet as you are talking shit.

What a cow. I once spotted someone I knew irl on here talking about a personal issue. I mulled over what to do and decided to send her a message saying that I had seen her on MN, what my username was and that I obviously wouldn't mention her issue to anyone but was letting her know in case she wanted to change her username. That seemed the decent thing to do for a friend.

YANBU to expect a friend to be more sensitive.

YABU to not have covered your MN trail better when you made the thread. I often wonder how often this kind of thing has happened.

I'm actually ok with that because it's accompanied by a ton of comments saying she's a dick for behaving like that.

If she had approached me privately about it and asked if everything was ok, I'd have been honest with her.

Rule number one of Mumsnet is not to "spot" someone IRL.

I hope she does see this and see how she’s an absolute c*nt. I’d keep my distance from her if it were me. She’s no friend!

She’s not a friend, I mean with friends like her who needs enemies?! If said ‘friend’ is watching this, you’re a spiteful cunt and I hope karma gets you soon

Thanks for the reminder that it's time for a NC. Cowbags like this. Honestly.

I have actively ended one friendship in my whole life, and it was over something not dissimilar. It’s a dealbreaker OP. What a horrible horrible thing to do.

I'm sure she will read this too and now know 100% that the last post was also you

Your 'friend' is a horrible, hateful, spiteful piece of work. She is not your friend. Walk away from her, do not message her or contact her again, ever again. Anyone who would do that to you in the first place, let alone keep going on when it became apparent from you that you didn't want to discuss it, is an enemy. She is NOT your friend. She's your enemy. No friend would ever, ever, ever do that to someone. At worst, if they suspected it was you, they'd approach you in private. Not out you to everyone at a dinner. What a horrible worthless hateful person she is.

Does she have form for being jealous? Bitter? I know you said she likes to one-up people. It sounds like she is insecure and miserable in her life and has a need to tear others down to feel better about her pathetic self. OP, don't message this 'friend' ever again. Block her on your phone, on all social media, facebook whatever. Never speak to her or acknowledge you again.

A friendship for many years since you were 5, and this is what it comes to, this is what she does, this is what you mean to her? A means for attention and to build herself up and hurt you? She is not your friend any longer. If you keep in contact, she will only hurt you. You didn't deserve that, and you deserve better than that. No one has to accept that level of betrayal in a friendship.

Something has happened to her to make her change into a hateful, spiteful person, but that is not your fault and not your responsibility. Walk away and block her and erase her from your life starting now. She is too dangerous to be in your life.

But even if you NC if a person recognises the details, they'll recognise you anyway, no matter what name you post under.

What a nasty piece of work.

Twat, bitch, cow, cunt.

Good old Mumsnet posters, upholding misogynistic insults to the end!

If she does, she should feel utterly mortified and ashamed. But something tells me she is not capable of feeling those things. She is a defective person.