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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes 2

867 replies

Alondra · 31/10/2022 11:55

Apologies for making a second part to this thread but I feel strongly about this issue.

Topgub

Possibly because there aren't any benefits

Few countries have a government system caring about women and children. The majority of our governments don't care if all have to work for a pittance to pay mortgage, bills and food when children are small because average couples need both wages. A system where nursery fees are stratospheric and eating half an average wage, and worse still, because parents working full time, making an average pay to be able to survive, have few serious tax concessions. Those tax concessions go to multinationals.

It's a system that only cares about productivity attached to $. If you are an engineer with projects worth a million dollars, your salary will be minimum 15% of that money annually. If you are a carer or a parent, there is no quoted money attached to your work, so you are in a low wage or no wage at all.

A woman with two kids working full time for an average salary has not gained much from my mother’s time. Working full time, taking care of the kids when they are home and doing the lion share of housework and rarely free time at all.

With housing costs, bills and health systems collapsing, I really fear for women in the next few years. We will get the short straw as we've always done, but it'll be a plus if, at least, we don't turn on each other.

OP posts:
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Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:54

@FlamencoDance

The thing is, these threads are never just 'sahm' threads

They are parenting threads. So surely any parent can comment?

It's also seemingly impossible for sahms/housewives to justify their choice without putting down wms.

Which is where the conflict arises

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:55

Autumndays123 · 31/10/2022 17:54

Change the subject? You said specialise in the domestic sphere and I commented on it. Are you drunk OP?

You didn't comment in every assumption you'd made that was proven wrong though did you. Funny that.

Autumndays123 · 31/10/2022 17:56

Specialise in the domestic sphere. That's comedy gold.

Butchyrestingface · 31/10/2022 17:56

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FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster’s request.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:57

Autumndays123 · 31/10/2022 17:56

Specialise in the domestic sphere. That's comedy gold.

Comedy gold is someone who's obsessed with trying to force others to live a life they don't want to, when they don't need to, purely out of bitterness. It's oddly sad.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I'm not trolling. You disliking me doesn't make me a troll.

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 17:58

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster’s request.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:58

I was unaware of the rule that sahms can't be disagreed with

I soon learned.

Honestly when I first starting posting I thought I'd fallen down a time hole

Women genuinely shocked that other women don't want to be sahms and don't view it as the ideal.

MamaToOscar · 31/10/2022 17:59

This thread is so toxic it’s making me feel ashamed to be a woman 🤦🏻‍♀️

Some of you need to have a word with yourselves.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 17:59

@AMorningstar

@Butchyrestingface isn't talking about you.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:59

"I soon learned" and yet here you are, still posting your shit.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:00

@AMorningstar

Genuinely, how do you think anyone can force you to live your life differently?

Autumndays123 · 31/10/2022 18:00

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:55

You didn't comment in every assumption you'd made that was proven wrong though did you. Funny that.

What assumption? You said you plan to cook food, do chores, answer the door to Amazon, tradespeople and be well rested. That's hardly a long list. Although by your standards of laziness I imagine it sounds like an exhausting day

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:00

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:00

@AMorningstar

Genuinely, how do you think anyone can force you to live your life differently?

You can't. I don't think you can.

I think you'd like to though.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:01

@AMorningstar

Yeah cause I don't have to follow stupid rules

🙂

cagliari · 31/10/2022 18:01

"Hang on. Surely a working mum can contribute to a sahm thread. Like a bottle feeding mum can post on a breast feeding thread? "

Yes, but if the bottle-feeding mum was dominating every breastfeeding thread for evermore, declaring there is no point to breastfeeding in wider society blah blah blah, it would get a bit much wouldn't it?

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 18:01

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 17:57

Comedy gold is someone who's obsessed with trying to force others to live a life they don't want to, when they don't need to, purely out of bitterness. It's oddly sad.

No one is trying to make you work. You sound like you would be pretty useless in most jobs anyway. We're simply refusing to congratulate you over opting out of being a functional well rounded self-sufficient adult. And you're kicking a fuss over that.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:02

@AMorningstar

If you dont think people then why do you keep saying people are trying to force you to live a different life?

I have no interest in what you do with your life.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:02

Autumndays123 · 31/10/2022 18:00

What assumption? You said you plan to cook food, do chores, answer the door to Amazon, tradespeople and be well rested. That's hardly a long list. Although by your standards of laziness I imagine it sounds like an exhausting day

No, I gave a list of examples of various advantages to having someone home past school age. I never once said that's what I do all day. Also hilarious you think someone who lifts 4x per week is lazy. You'll have to try harder if you want to offend me, you're doing a rubbish job.

I hope your job doesn't involve reading comprehension!

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:03

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:02

@AMorningstar

If you dont think people then why do you keep saying people are trying to force you to live a different life?

I have no interest in what you do with your life.

Because its clear you want to stop people. You can't, but you want to

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:03

@cagliari

Ah.

So now we're getting to the crux of it.

You dislike me posting so much because you don't know how to shut me up.

You cant counter or disprove what I say.

And that really bugs you.

🤣

FlamencoDance · 31/10/2022 18:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster’s request.

AMorningstar · 31/10/2022 18:04

RandomMusings7 · 31/10/2022 18:01

No one is trying to make you work. You sound like you would be pretty useless in most jobs anyway. We're simply refusing to congratulate you over opting out of being a functional well rounded self-sufficient adult. And you're kicking a fuss over that.

Imagine thinking your way of doing something is the only way to be a well rounded individual. The arrogance is astounding.

Then again, narrowmindedness is to be expected from someone who denigrates an entire form of media as "neckbeardy"

Topgub · 31/10/2022 18:04

@AMorningstar

Sorry, its clear I want to stop people what?

Quote one post where I've said I want to stop people doing anything?