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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel embarrassed? Was I in the wrong

183 replies

Bre10 · 30/10/2022 23:04

I normally go and get my eyebrows at the same place. I brought my kids with me. They only take cash, and the cash machine is literally two shops away, inside the mall. I have a double pram, one of my child wtrapped in, I said to the lady is it okay if I run and get the money and leave her with you. As soon as I left, her husband called me who was at the shop you needed to take your child with you, so angrily as if I'm being a bad mum, and neglecting my child for being two seconds. In hindsight maybe I am in the wrong, in my mind I have been there for years and would quickly rush and leave, rather than taking the pram out. I felt so shamed and embarrassed by the incident. Was I in the wrong,please be kind I already feel like a shit mum. I'm a single mother of two little one, and I must admit I already feel like I don't know what I'm doing.

OP posts:
GCG1 · 30/10/2022 23:57

Ok, this has always been a bit of a pipe dream- I'd like to hire and after school nanny to speak to my 4yo and 1yo in Spanish.
My husband and I do not speak anything other than English and I'd like my kids to be better than us!!

Am I unrealistic to think a few nights a week would do anything?

appreciate any thoughts/experience

Cheeeeislifenow · 31/10/2022 00:01

Yes you were absolutely wrong and you shouldn't put someone on the spot to watch your child for you.

GCG1 · 31/10/2022 00:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

gandalf456 · 31/10/2022 00:05

To be honest, I don't see what the issue is if it was only over the road. The lady could have gone and got the op if there was a problem.

Cheeeeislifenow · 31/10/2022 00:07

To be honest, I don't see what the issue is if it was only over the road. The lady could have gone and got the op if there was a problem.

it's her workplace though, presumably she can't just leave. * *

Intru · 31/10/2022 00:24

gandalf456 · 31/10/2022 00:05

To be honest, I don't see what the issue is if it was only over the road. The lady could have gone and got the op if there was a problem.

And leave the next customer, or leave the till unattended, or leave the baby unattended?

mycatisannoying · 31/10/2022 00:26

Tothemoonandbackx · 30/10/2022 23:17

You said to 'the lady' so someone you're not even on first name terms with???? But her husband has your number?????

Well, she's hardly going to say 'Tracy, who does my brows'!

AliceAbsolum · 31/10/2022 00:30

I think it's fine and the husband was being OTT about being responsible for the child for 2 min

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 31/10/2022 00:35

It’s to do with their insurance. And you should have taken the cash out beforehand.

cypresstree · 31/10/2022 00:38

If she said yes that is ok, then none of his business frankly. I'd have done that for you but I suppose do bear in mind that the most normal looking people in the world may not be trustworthy.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 31/10/2022 00:38

As someone who works in a shop you'd be amazed at the " can I just...?" " can you just..,?" requests we get. No. We can't. Organise your life better.

Presumably you knew it was cash only so get the money out before you go.

pink85 · 31/10/2022 00:39

I work in a shop and was once asked to keep an eye on someones kids I refused because they are not my responsibility. You are a not a shit mum because you care enough to ask about this but make sure you are prepared next time with the money etc as a stranger should not have to keep an eye on your children, even if its just for 10 seconds (the only difference is if I see a lost child in my shop I obviously take care of them until mum is found)

EmilyGilmoresSass · 31/10/2022 00:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh do shut it. Single mothers have as much right to get their eyebrows tweeted as anybody else if it makes them feel a bit better and more confident. Bully for you if you have someone to mind yours.

Catflapping · 31/10/2022 00:42

Struggling to see why you didn’t get cash out before hand if the cash machine is so close and you’ve been going for years…

Tillow4ever · 31/10/2022 00:43

GCG1 · 30/10/2022 23:57

Ok, this has always been a bit of a pipe dream- I'd like to hire and after school nanny to speak to my 4yo and 1yo in Spanish.
My husband and I do not speak anything other than English and I'd like my kids to be better than us!!

Am I unrealistic to think a few nights a week would do anything?

appreciate any thoughts/experience

@GCG1 you've posted on a thread - you need to start a new thread to ask your question!

pinkpotatoez · 31/10/2022 00:48

You're not a shit mum at all, we al make split
Moment decisions, not always the right ones. In hindsight, you shouldn't have done it but you felt they were safe. You're also worrying about it which shows you care, don't give it anymore though OP

NicLondon1 · 31/10/2022 00:50

Don't feel bad or embarrassed. But in general, it's always safer to take the buggy with you, you just never know.. I once had a convicted paedophile try to steal my 1 year old asleep in her buggy so am super careful now, so just speaking from experience.

redtshirt50 · 31/10/2022 01:02

It was definitely to do with insurance. Slim chance - but if something had happened while you were gone the shop would have been at fault as the baby isn't insured to be on the premises unattended (something like that anyway).

I once had to refuse to let a very pregnant lady use the staff toilet in a shop I worked in because if she slipped and fell she could have sued us, I would have lost my job etc etc

She, nor any of the other people in the shop were impressed but my manager said absolutely no way.

Vikinga · 31/10/2022 01:05

I wouldn't worry about it. Unless the place was busy, if you know them and it was only a couple of mins then I dont see the issue. She could have said no.

BadNomad · 31/10/2022 01:11

If you knew you needed cash, you should have withdrawn it before you went in to your appointment. It doesn't matter how many times you have been to get your eyebrows done, the stylist does not know you, she is not your friend. Don't leave your child with a stranger. Don't put a person in the awkward position of having to tell you no.

HeddaGarbled · 31/10/2022 01:15

She could have said no

She’s a cash only eyebrow doer. She’s not going to say no to a customer who has taken her time but hasn’t paid her yet.

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 31/10/2022 01:17

Don't beat yourself up OP. We all make rash decisions that we probably wouldn't make if we had more time to think about the dangers.

I remember being in a clothes shop with my then four year old and their younger sibling who was in a buggy. We were waiting for the lift to go down to the ground floor. The four year old went in first (1st mistake) and somebody on the ground floor must have pressed the button because the door closed before I knew it and off it went with my four year old. I panicked and ran like a maniac down the stairs to reach the ground floor before my four year old wandered off. But in doing so I abandoned the buggy on the first floor without a word to anyone to watch it.
It worked out ok in the end but I still groan inwardly when I remember it even though years have passed.

lifeinthehills · 31/10/2022 01:20

It was one of those decisions made on the spur of the moment that, in hindsight, wasn't so great. The store wouldn't want the liability of being in charge of your child in the store. Learn from it and move on. Next time you'll have the cash on hand, I'm sure. Put it behind you now.

CJsGoldfish · 31/10/2022 01:27

It was unreasonable but, now you know to make sure you go to the cash machine before the appointment next time.
What's done is done, please don't be embarrassed. I'm sure you've learnt from it and you shouldn't NOT go again because of it.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 31/10/2022 01:31

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 31/10/2022 01:17

Don't beat yourself up OP. We all make rash decisions that we probably wouldn't make if we had more time to think about the dangers.

I remember being in a clothes shop with my then four year old and their younger sibling who was in a buggy. We were waiting for the lift to go down to the ground floor. The four year old went in first (1st mistake) and somebody on the ground floor must have pressed the button because the door closed before I knew it and off it went with my four year old. I panicked and ran like a maniac down the stairs to reach the ground floor before my four year old wandered off. But in doing so I abandoned the buggy on the first floor without a word to anyone to watch it.
It worked out ok in the end but I still groan inwardly when I remember it even though years have passed.

Not totally the same thing but supports your thought about rash decisions.

Was wandering around an artist fair with my DH who is a a paramedic. We we stopped at a custom jewelry place (precious and semi-precious stones). The guy running it looked terrible…like his face was gray…sweating… about to die terrible.

My DH started asking questions to see if was having a heart attack. The guy said he just wanted to fog back to his hotel. So they both just walk off leaving his jewelry stall totally unattended! I stood near the opening and just sort of waved everyone off and then had a really awkward conversation with his wife when she returned.

All turned out well… he just had a bad case of food poisoning and I didn’t get arrested for stealing.

to the OP…
People make stupid decisions… plan better next time. To you it made sense at the time…but to others you were leaving them in in an awkward spot. @Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit your’s was a different situation in that you literally had to make a choice, anyone would have figured out what was going on.