To be devastated about wedding hair...

[Shitshitshitshitshit]

Trying to quickly summarise:

Wanted long hair again for wedding. Asked hairdresser for balayage and then hair extensions were matched to natural hair. The natural hair was too warm for the hair extensions, I went back and hairdresser toned it but didnt do the root melt I asked for, still did not look right.
Went to a different stylist who put a root melt on my hair but added thick bleach stripes to the front when I showed a photo and asked for subtle, lighter 'face framing'pieces at the front.

Had to go back to original hair dresser to have fitted extra pack of extensions she ordered and I paid for (after the original lot were fitted), because she underestimated how thick my natural hair was.

She successfully toned down the bleached stripes at the front for me. Unfortunately this was the day before the wedding due to the multiple fuck ups limiting my time.

Another unfortunately- she told me not to wash my hair that night like I was planning, as the toner might drop out. I said, even though i haven't washed it for several days? She said yes it will style better when dirty anyway.

I followed her instructions and didnt wash it. As a result, the hair was a monumental fuck up the next day, it was too greasy to hold the wavy/hair down style and dry shampoo and texture spray seemed to make it worse. Bridal prep was horrendous chaos anyway and I didnt have time to realise that the only thing that could save it was to quickly wash and dry the natural hair on top. I found myself being rushed to the aisle feeling like utter shit and in an utter panic.
There was only one photo taken of me by a guest and it confirms my suspicions that it looked like a straggly, cheap mess.

I know I wont like any photos taken by the photographer with me in because of the hair.

To top it off, the venue played the music during the ceremony and wedding Breakfast so quietly that no one could hear it at all. Then they brought the wedding cake out really late, by the time most of the children had to go to bed. I had to cut the cake into pieces myself and ask them to bring a stack of plates.

I cant talk about this anymore with my new husband, hes getting really upset realising we wont have any photos of us on our wedding day that dont make me want to cry.

I really feel like I'm grieving horribly.

I'm so sorry you feel this way.

I got caught in awful rain the morning of my wedding and I hate my hair in the photos. I also wanted to do my makeup myself but got talked in to letting someone else do it and wish I hadn't - I hated that too.

The day didn't go smoothly either and I cringe at how drunk I got.

BUT 5 years on I look fondly at the photos (at least I looked young pre kids!) and although I don't have them up in the house I do have them in an album.

I bet they won't be as bad as you think!

I'm so sorry, if it helps at all I was so upset with my hair (windy day, not what I'd pictured) - I spent months staring at th pictures and could only see my hair. Fast forward to a few months ago, I looked at a picture and thought how lovely I looked, didn't even notice the hair that had annoyed me for years.. I love my photos now.
On the venue, mine made plenty of mistakes too, I lit candles myself!! After going on a trek to find matches.
I've forgotten it all now and remember the lovely day, they seem huge now but really they all start to fade in time xx

Not being horrible but: can you just focus on your new husband and forget about this shit? I’m single and horribly lonely and would love to be in your shoes. Focus on the big stuff.

Just put it to one side and appreciate being married. It's not the end of the world.

It’s such a shame that often so much pressure is put on brides to look perfect in photos that it actually prevents their enjoyment of the day. It happens all the time! My husband does some work in the industry and sees it a lot. I hope you did enjoy most of your day, try not to dwell on the photos. If you want, could you arrange a photo shoot for you and your husband in your outfits? Maybe in the spring?

She's already had her wedding, it's too late for that now.

OP, nobody will remember any of these things except you and your husband.

Simple.

Book a photographer.

Get both of you dressed up again.

Take new photos.

It's just hair! Long as you had a good day and are happy with your husband that's all that matters

Get dressed up again, have a photoshoot done. X

Oh Op, it does seem like a lot now, but my wedding hair was a bit shit, and honestly 10 years on and I just look at the photos fondly (when I do look at them, which is rarely to be honest).
I’m just so pleased I’m still with DH, and we had a lovely day with our friends and family and our marriage is still going strong 😃
Honestly you won’t care for much longer

The photographer lost the negatives of my parents’ wedding photographs. They got over it long before their Diamond Wedding.

I hate my hair on my wedding pictures, it looked great when it was first done but as the day went on it just dropped and as a result looks a straggly mess. Annoys the shit out of me but I don't dwell on it as I had a great day and looking back I obviously didn't care at the time.

Honestly it sounds like a very stressful situation with bad decisions from the hairdressers and you - however I think you'll laugh at it all in a few weeks time! Can you ask your photographer to edit your hair in the photos if it's that much of a worry - photoshop can be fab these days.

Regardless of your hair, you got married to your new husband and that should make it a happy memory! I'm saying this as someone who's hair extensions fell out going down the aisle due to a terrible hairdresser 😂 I laugh now, and the photos make me smile! I married my DH, everything else is by the by 😊

Just to add, I didn’t like my hair on the
day either, the best photos were later in the day when I had brushed it out.

I get it OP- I looked a state in mine too as rained torrentially all day but it’s really not a big deal. Post wedding day blues might be exacerbating your feelings ?? Time to plan some new fun activities, breaks, etc. or just enjoy being married and having free time now the manic build up is all over!

Oh I’m sorry you feel so upset.
Long term it’s really not that bad - I never look at my wedding pictures 💐

I wish we could ‘like’ posts.
i agree with the last two posters, do a photoshoot!

Oh op I'm sorry your day didn't go to plan. I would say that weddings are a huge pressure for everything to be 'perfect'. There's always things go wrong. I bet your guests didn't notice at all and they probably saw all the loveliness and extra touches you added. My dress was slightly too tight and it shows after dinner, I was too uncomfortable to dance in it, the hot water system went down and some of our meals were wrong but I didn't give a toss. I think you get to choose whether you focus on the things that went wrong or all the many things that went right. I would imagine your dh probably does find it a little hard hearing how upset you are over it when it's not really what it's about and you put so much work into the day.

It sounds like you had built things up
in your head to a ‘perfect day’. A drastic hair change just before wedding sounds very risky.
I’d focus on positives. I’m sure your guests wouldn’t have noticed music, late cake etc.
When photos come if they aren’t as you want then get a few retaken.

Did you actually read the OP?

No wedding day goes off without any mistakes. I used to be a wedding manager and have seen everything from a red wine stain on the wedding dress (before the ceremony) to suits not fitting to brides and grooms falling out and demanding I 'undo' their wedding.

So far you've only seen one picture by a guest. A professional photographer will be able to touch up the photos and probably got nicer pics from better angles.

It is a nightmare when things that are so 'every day' go wrong. Getting your hair done should be straight forward. I would be cross with the hairdresser's who fucked it up.

I had my eyebrows, bikini and armpits waxed 2 days before my wedding. I get this done regularly. The lass managed to rip me everywhere. I couldn't wear knickers for a whole day, couldn't wear deodorant and my makeup lady had to work hard to mask the cut under my eyebrow.

Thanks everyone. I think post wedding blues are definitely a thing. I honestly feel quite traumatised by the last two hours of bridal prep! It sounds absolutely pathetic but the horror was very real.

Attached is photo - on right is what it looks like when washed, dried and curled (this morning). Left is the dreaded bridal hair disaster.

20 yrs down the line we don’t have any wedding photos on display.

Grief is something you feel when someone dear to you dies.

You've just had a bad hair day.

Your marriage is not just one day.

As others have said, if it bothers you that much, do a new photoshoot in your wedding outfits.

This is good advice. Also sorry that you feel lonely @SashaPearce

Not much you can do about your hair in your wedding photos now OP, getting it done the day before the wedding was risky. But I bet no one else thought your hair looked bad.

You could start a tradition of having an anniversary photoshoot every year? It's a nice way to document your marriage and growing family.