To be devastated about wedding hair...

[Shitshitshitshitshit]

Trying to quickly summarise:

Wanted long hair again for wedding. Asked hairdresser for balayage and then hair extensions were matched to natural hair. The natural hair was too warm for the hair extensions, I went back and hairdresser toned it but didnt do the root melt I asked for, still did not look right.
Went to a different stylist who put a root melt on my hair but added thick bleach stripes to the front when I showed a photo and asked for subtle, lighter 'face framing'pieces at the front.

Had to go back to original hair dresser to have fitted extra pack of extensions she ordered and I paid for (after the original lot were fitted), because she underestimated how thick my natural hair was.

She successfully toned down the bleached stripes at the front for me. Unfortunately this was the day before the wedding due to the multiple fuck ups limiting my time.

Another unfortunately- she told me not to wash my hair that night like I was planning, as the toner might drop out. I said, even though i haven't washed it for several days? She said yes it will style better when dirty anyway.

I followed her instructions and didnt wash it. As a result, the hair was a monumental fuck up the next day, it was too greasy to hold the wavy/hair down style and dry shampoo and texture spray seemed to make it worse. Bridal prep was horrendous chaos anyway and I didnt have time to realise that the only thing that could save it was to quickly wash and dry the natural hair on top. I found myself being rushed to the aisle feeling like utter shit and in an utter panic.
There was only one photo taken of me by a guest and it confirms my suspicions that it looked like a straggly, cheap mess.

I know I wont like any photos taken by the photographer with me in because of the hair.

To top it off, the venue played the music during the ceremony and wedding Breakfast so quietly that no one could hear it at all. Then they brought the wedding cake out really late, by the time most of the children had to go to bed. I had to cut the cake into pieces myself and ask them to bring a stack of plates.

I cant talk about this anymore with my new husband, hes getting really upset realising we wont have any photos of us on our wedding day that dont make me want to cry.

I really feel like I'm grieving horribly.

I prefer the wedding hair.

I didn't realize how much my strapless dress had slipped down and some of my wedding album is not far off soft porn ... it NEVER comes out, and i never showed it to anyone, I am mortified by it ! Still happily married though 18 years later...

Let yourself grieve a bit, then see if you want to try having the pics edited or having a photoshoot. I was disappointed with my wedding hair in the pics, as my style all dropped out in the wind. But years later, I'm honestly not that fussed any more.

On the way to my wedding and then the reception venue, the open vehicle I was riding in was doing about 60mph at one point! Most unexpected!
My false eyelashes nearly blew off and then it started to rain!
I was so happy and pleased to be married, I thought it was hilarious and all part of a frankly, ridiculously random day!
(Weddings are weird, when you think about it! Everyone dresses in stuff they’d never wear in real life, everyone stares at you and then the speeches!!)
I can’t imagine letting this ruin my wedding day!

Your hair was washed the day before the wedding as she had dyed it so would have had to wash the dye out, and advice was correct to not wash it the morning of.
Your hair looks great in both photos - i do get that if you envisioned the bouncy curls that its disappointing but your hair doesnt look greasy or unstyled or awful in the one fron your wedding day at all!

Honestly OP I think your wedding day hair looked beautiful. Reserve feeling sad until the photographer gives you the pics. They can work absolute magic especially if you tell them what you’d like editing.

One of my friends was a bridesmaid a few years ago and a couple of days before the wedding in a fit of pampering tried a lovely new face mask. Had a horrible reaction to it and her face turned to literal scales. The photographer managed to edit it so you wouldn’t even know.

If you get the pics and you still don’t like it then console yourself with the fact it’ll all look horribly dated in 30-40 years and your grandkids will giggle at them.

@Shitshitshitshitshit Your hair is nothing to worry about.
The humblest of weddings in my experience are some of the longest lasting {not ended in divorce}
Please don't worry.
I doubt if people would really notice your hair? It's you as a person that people see.

I was traumatised too, honestly, if it wasn't for my makeup lady realising I would have been so upset in the church.. It passes I promise.

I can't even find my wedding photos 7 years on. As someone already said, it's the marriage not the day that counts.

I know! It’s a huge over-reaction. It’s the same as the use of “devastated” in the post title - makes me wonder if the OP actually understands what the word means.

I prefer the hair on the left 😅

I'm not into those bouncy curls they'd look really dated on your photos in ten years

Your wedding hair is much more chic

I know it all feels like a massive issue now but honestly in time it will fade and become a funny story about your big day.

I get it - it’s all so crazy and important at the time (here speaks a woman who cried cos her invites were the wrong shade of cream)

Your non-wedding hair looks quite dated, whereas your wedding day hair looks youthful.
I have recently been to a fantastic wedding. Apparently the bride spent the next morning in tears as the, very expensive, fresh cream wedding cake had melted and collapsed. I had not noted it was missing and I'm sure, along with all the other guests, the lack of cake did not spoil the day in any shape or form.

I think your hair looks lovely. FYI i would rarely get a staged photo of people at an event, I may take none or snap without asking for a pose. You will see more pics over time.

I agree. I much prefer your wedding hair.
And just to add, I LOVED my wedding hair. Yet 30+ years on the photos clearly show I looked like a poodle in a tiara that got caught in a net curtain.

There’s an easy solution. Get a photo editor to replace your hairstyle with how it is in the second photo. Not difficult to do. Look online for examples of a photo editor’s work and choose one you think is good.

I had some old family photos edited to remove random people from a family group and the result is incredibly authentic.

Then turn the other disasters into funny family stories and start to laugh about them.

I much prefer your wedding hair. It looks more natural and carefree.

You will look back in a few years and laugh.

You could always do like a lot of those influencers do and get them photoshopped!

My hair was also ruined by a series of hairdresser fuck ups, and this post sums it up really. Time will heal

"grieving horribly".

Give me strength.

OP, your hair looks fine in the wedding picture. The hair in the other picture looks like identikit footballer's wife hair. Save your grief and devastation for something a bit bigger.

Really?

If the most important thing to you on your wedding day is how your hair looked, I would seriously question your reasons for getting married.

Would you like a bracing bucket of cold water, OP?

With priorities this skewed, you marriage is unlikely to last, so the wedding photos will be redundant anyway 🤷‍♀️

Take a deep breath, give your head a wobble, and enjoy these precious newlywed days with your husband.

The way you described it I thought it was going to look bad but I honestly wouldn’t look at that photo and think anything negative. I’m sorry it’s not what you wanted but things go wrong or not to plan on wedding days. I had a similar issue with the music which did annoy me as we spent ages selecting the perfect songs but just focus on the positives.

Also like others say if you hate all the photos then go get your hair and make up done and go for a photo shoot. It’s really not something to dwell on.

I can see what you mean when compared to what you wanted, but without the comparison...it looks very pretty.

I get it.

You want everything to be perfect. And then it isn't.

I was once told that all brides look beautiful and it is true. If you wanted to be getting married the love will radiate off you.

So yes it is "only" hair but there is so much pressure put on people to have "perfect" weddings.

Your relationship can weather this first test.

And yes go get some nice photos in your dress.