To be devastated about wedding hair...

[Shitshitshitshitshit]

Trying to quickly summarise:

Wanted long hair again for wedding. Asked hairdresser for balayage and then hair extensions were matched to natural hair. The natural hair was too warm for the hair extensions, I went back and hairdresser toned it but didnt do the root melt I asked for, still did not look right.
Went to a different stylist who put a root melt on my hair but added thick bleach stripes to the front when I showed a photo and asked for subtle, lighter 'face framing'pieces at the front.

Had to go back to original hair dresser to have fitted extra pack of extensions she ordered and I paid for (after the original lot were fitted), because she underestimated how thick my natural hair was.

She successfully toned down the bleached stripes at the front for me. Unfortunately this was the day before the wedding due to the multiple fuck ups limiting my time.

Another unfortunately- she told me not to wash my hair that night like I was planning, as the toner might drop out. I said, even though i haven't washed it for several days? She said yes it will style better when dirty anyway.

I followed her instructions and didnt wash it. As a result, the hair was a monumental fuck up the next day, it was too greasy to hold the wavy/hair down style and dry shampoo and texture spray seemed to make it worse. Bridal prep was horrendous chaos anyway and I didnt have time to realise that the only thing that could save it was to quickly wash and dry the natural hair on top. I found myself being rushed to the aisle feeling like utter shit and in an utter panic.
There was only one photo taken of me by a guest and it confirms my suspicions that it looked like a straggly, cheap mess.

I know I wont like any photos taken by the photographer with me in because of the hair.

To top it off, the venue played the music during the ceremony and wedding Breakfast so quietly that no one could hear it at all. Then they brought the wedding cake out really late, by the time most of the children had to go to bed. I had to cut the cake into pieces myself and ask them to bring a stack of plates.

I cant talk about this anymore with my new husband, hes getting really upset realising we wont have any photos of us on our wedding day that dont make me want to cry.

I really feel like I'm grieving horribly.

If it really bothers you get your dress back on and book a photographer.

I think your hair looks nice in both pics. Slightly more polished in the non-wedding pic, but still nice in both.

My colleague hated her wedding make up so much that her and her husband both got dolled up again in their wedding outfits a few months later and had another photo shoot. It obviously wasn’t wedding day photos, but it gave her some she felt comfortable displaying at home while the others sit in an album.

That’s both lovely and devastatingly sad. I bet it was a beautiful wedding. For you 💐and your mum 💐

It looks lovely OP. I also prefer it to the more ‘done’ style.

had multiple issues on my wedding day too, I still remember them and think -argh!

like another pp though I like the photos more as the years go by.

One on the left looks bohemian and beachy. I know I’ve commented but it looks so lovely. A relaxed sort of hippy glamour. Beautiful

Going to be honest here. The bouffy, tonged style on the right is shiny and bouncy but it’s a contrived look. It looks tonged and very 2022. I know this style is popular but I think it makes women look a bit plasticky and hard. Just my personal opinion.
At least your wedding hair won’t date.

I feel for you as this was obviously important to you. However, your hair looks fine in the photo you've posted. Also, gently, I think you need some perspective. You and your husband are healthy and happy. That is what matters.

Honestly the professional photos will look SO much better than the ones a guest got. I hated the first few photos I saw that a guest had taken, felt exactly the same as you. But I love 99% of the professional ones.

also I don’t think the one you posted looked bad at all! I think we just get fixated on something and then that’s all you can see!

Hi everyone. Thank you so much to you all. I have indeed woken up with perspective and I'm a bit embarrassed about my post-nuptial meltdown.
I deserve to be called a massive tit who needs to get a grip 😅I have ADHD and get overwhelmed and obsessive incredibly easily - I have no perspective in these 'pit of despair' holes I get into, I can see it is utterly ridiculous once I'm out of it. It is not a very good trait.

Thank you also for all the sympathetic posts! They really helped me feel much better too xxx

I don't have much to add except to say I think your hair looks lovely in both pics! I was expecting it to look bad! The stress on the day sounds horrible though

Glad you are feeling better op

the two hours before feelings probably would have happened anyway in some
form as it is an overwhelming time. I remember feeling disconnected as if watching. Your brain might have fixed on the hair as why you felt overwhelmed and emotional. Your hair genuinely looks lovely and prob more as when your husband finds you attractive ie every day!

Our ‘professional’ wedding photographer messed up a lot of our photos, think heads cut off and other stupid things.
We got dressed up again and took some photographs.
To be honest a few years on, I’m actually quite fond of the duff photographs but I’m glad we’ve a few nice photographs of me and my husband. Also a nice excuse to wear your wedding outfits one last time!

Good idea.

Aww op, I've just read the post properly, and I'm glad you're feeling better. I think the photo you showed is lovely too. X

The ‘perfect day’ narrative surrounding weddings is so unhelpful and I definitely went into our day with unrealistic expectations of keeping all the guests happy and having the best day ever, whilst not usually enjoying being the centre of attention and having had a really stressful lead up to the day!

For me it was the people coordinating that messed up, and it’s going to take a while not to feel disappointed and frustrated about it, but I know in a few years it won’t bother me, and a few more I’ll probably forget it all together. 😊

I'm sorry it didn't go to plan.

I don't have any photos from my wedding day at all due to the photographer turning out to be a massive arse and trying to rip us off. In the grand scheme of things, we're not really that bothered though, we still had the day.

We might do a photo shoot for our first anniversary instead maybe you can do that.

Focus in the bigger picture. Get dolled up and take some close ups of you and your DH.

Enjoy your marriage. The wedding is just one day. They're not supposed to be perfect. Strive for perfection in the marriage itself.

I didn't like my wedding hair too. Trust me, the memory of them will fade 😬Focus on your marriage, this is more important (I know it might sound silly, but you can't turn back time anyway).

Make a list of the things you loved about the day, starting with 1. Got married to brilliant new husband.

Honestly, the cake and the music are non-events, and the hair is fine. You got married with loads of people who love you there to support you. That outweighs any other minir issue.

This! All you really need is one or 2 beautiful close shots to frame and put on the wall. Have the restin an album for your own memories.

I think your hair looks much nicer in the wedding pic

A couple of posters have mentioned it, but you shouldn't underestimate the effects of 'post-wedding blues'.
You have just spent months and months, possibly over a year, planning the wedding, down to the last detail. It has taken all your time and energy and thought. Now it is all over and there is a great big hole in your life as there is no more planning to do.
What else is there to do now except go back to work and 'normal' life? - it can be a huge anti-climax for many brides, leading to a feeling of being a bit lost.

The solution may be to find the 'next big thing' to focus on. Are you intending to go on holiday next summer? Are you going to be moving into a new home, or redecorating where you live now?
Or look in a different direction - is there a potential promotion or change of job on the horizon? Will you be continuing studying?
Find something to make yourself look forward, not back.

No wonder your husband is upset.

He thought getting married was all about you and him.

Not some bloody stage production for the cameras and audience.

@Shitshitshitshitshit You’re very gracious about all posts and have calmed the fuck down which is a better place to be.

This is true. It won't look dated.