To be devastated about wedding hair...

[Shitshitshitshitshit]

Trying to quickly summarise:

Wanted long hair again for wedding. Asked hairdresser for balayage and then hair extensions were matched to natural hair. The natural hair was too warm for the hair extensions, I went back and hairdresser toned it but didnt do the root melt I asked for, still did not look right.
Went to a different stylist who put a root melt on my hair but added thick bleach stripes to the front when I showed a photo and asked for subtle, lighter 'face framing'pieces at the front.

Had to go back to original hair dresser to have fitted extra pack of extensions she ordered and I paid for (after the original lot were fitted), because she underestimated how thick my natural hair was.

She successfully toned down the bleached stripes at the front for me. Unfortunately this was the day before the wedding due to the multiple fuck ups limiting my time.

Another unfortunately- she told me not to wash my hair that night like I was planning, as the toner might drop out. I said, even though i haven't washed it for several days? She said yes it will style better when dirty anyway.

I followed her instructions and didnt wash it. As a result, the hair was a monumental fuck up the next day, it was too greasy to hold the wavy/hair down style and dry shampoo and texture spray seemed to make it worse. Bridal prep was horrendous chaos anyway and I didnt have time to realise that the only thing that could save it was to quickly wash and dry the natural hair on top. I found myself being rushed to the aisle feeling like utter shit and in an utter panic.
There was only one photo taken of me by a guest and it confirms my suspicions that it looked like a straggly, cheap mess.

I know I wont like any photos taken by the photographer with me in because of the hair.

To top it off, the venue played the music during the ceremony and wedding Breakfast so quietly that no one could hear it at all. Then they brought the wedding cake out really late, by the time most of the children had to go to bed. I had to cut the cake into pieces myself and ask them to bring a stack of plates.

I cant talk about this anymore with my new husband, hes getting really upset realising we wont have any photos of us on our wedding day that dont make me want to cry.

I really feel like I'm grieving horribly.

ohhh I thought it was going to be really bad! Op it still looks lovely, just beachy waves rather than the right, which I absolutely can understand you’d rather have had. But it absolutely 100% honestly still looks lovely. But it wasn’t what you imagined so you’re feeling sad about it. Give yourself a few weeks and then look again, because you still look fantastic. And I’d kill for the left hair too!

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At least you didn't get married in the 1970s...

I was thinking the same as @SashaPearce and I'm in the same situation as her (wish I had just married someone I love too). I think your hair looked nice in the photo from the day (a bit windblown but nothing to really care about).

You could arrange a post-wedding separate wedding meal or party, invite some of your guests, dress up, hire a photographer and keep those photos?

I get the hair looks different in both pics. However, your hair on your wedding pic looks lovely. Like not what I was thinking when first read your post. Your wedding pic looks more beachy, textured waves. Whereas the right is more glam curls. See, just different but both nice.

Probs would find different hairdressers though. Hope you can look back on years to come. You've just got that awful gutting feeling atm but it will pass xxxxx

Also my best friend got married in NYC. Her and her husband got all dolled up again when they got home to get wedding pics with their dog! Someone suggested this in an earlier post and it's great idea

Omg this made my day!

I got married abroad so was swimming in the sea before my wedding. We came in off the beach to shower and get ready and discovered the water was off. We eventually got it put back on but by the time of the wedding I still had wet hair and hadn’t had time to paint my nails or anything . . Just quickly did my makeup, blew a hairdryer on it and got dressed. We have a closeup photo of our hands and the rings together with the bouquet and there are my bare nails and red sunburned hand. 😆. It just reminds me of what a nice time we’d had swimming and relaxing before the wedding really. It doesn’t even cross my mind to think now terrible my hands and hair look.

This was over 20 years ago before celeb/Hello culture got its stranglehold on normal brides. So I just rolled with it and had a great day.

I do feel for brides now, they put themselves under so much pressure.

Can you tell us what about the day that you enjoyed / cherished?

Grieving? Seriously?

I hope life is always so good for you, OP.

I had pigeon shit in my hair on my wedding day OP. Walked out of the hairdressers with my very tight French platt on my wedding day. Stood under trees waiting for my lift home, and had a very large blob of white crap land in my hair. It was all over the platt so was difficult to pick out. I remember being almost hysterical, rushing back into the hairdressers where they were trying to get it out without spoiling the platt. They didn’t manage to get all of it, and I spent the day convinced people could see it. They couldn’t of course, but I remember that feeling of despair like it was yesterday.

I see you’ve got the ohh & ahh poor you platitude posts. Actually you’re being a tit
Get over it, stop crying and whining about stringy hair. Enough hyperbole about grieving
Reread your own posts. Your new husband is upset at all this drama. Sort that out

There is too much pressure on brides to look perfect. It's insane and little wonder you feel like you are grieving op.

You spent time and money trying to achieve natural-looking long hair.

You knew how it could look, and just kept on tweaking until it was impossible to find your way back to your own hair with a nice cut and colour.

Your hair reminds me of Jennifer Aniston when she wed Brad Pitt. Not a bad look (although I hope your marriage lasts longer!).

Also, dh and I both agree we wouldn't bother with the flounce and fuss of a wedding again.

Our marriage is a beautiful thing, far more perfect than either of us looked on the day.

Every time I look at my wedding photos, I’m reminded that my 80s wedding dress looked just like Diana’s - only not as nice.
Gigantic puffy sleeves, huge skirt - the works.
But I’m just as married had I chosen another dress.
I like the idea a previous pp had - put your wedding finery on and take new pictures if you’re so inclined.
I guarantee you, though, that in the years to come what really will matter is the love in your life.

The pic of the ‘bridal hair disaster’ looks ten times nicer than the curled hair in the other pic. I think your photos will look lovely

OMG! Now that's a wedding hair disaster!

Hair looks totally fine in wedding picture. I have no idea what this alleged disaster is with it. You're being ridiculous.

I think you had too high expectations for the day. It was never going to go perfectly. In a few months you'll feel much better about it.

Your hair looks nice in your wedding photo. More romantic than the super-styled one. But I understand it's disappointing to you if you wanted something else. I do think this disappointment will wear off eventually.

My wedding hair was atrocious. For some reason I allowed myself to be talked into seeing a different hair stylist than my usual one. I asked for a hairstyle that's going to last me the whole day - it was sweltering hot that day (35+) and I was planning to do a lot of dancing. She did this kind of loose bun and I was suspicious but she swore up and down it was 'definitely' going to last until the morning. She was popular with celebs and I thought surely she knew what she was doing.

Of course it fell apart after about an hour, I had strands of hair randomly hanging about my face and a knot of hair and hair clips at the back of my neck which soon turned into a sweaty mess. Even the best man at one point took me aside to fix my hair a bit.

I was too happy and carried away that day to really care. But when the photos came about I was really quite annoyed. However now after several years all I see is the absolute joy of that day.

Oh dear, I did! Some of these photos look positively tasteful next to mine. The purple and white high neck floral dresses for my adult bridesmaids each took about 6 yards of fabric and the hats were ultra, ultra floppy. My little bridesmaids wore pink and purple satin with big ruffled pinnies and mob caps.

I had a Purdy cut (ask your Nans), and my lovely mum persuaded me to wear my Deirdre Barlow glasses (again, I refer you to your Nans) because “you won’t look like you without them”. I didn’t look like me - I looked like Deirdre Barlow. Seeing as I usually wore contact lenses at the time it didn’t make a lick of sense. 😊

Thank God we could only afford the econo package of 24 photos (one of which magically sat us in a champagne glass and another in a horseshoe).

You look just gorgeous, OP, and in the years to come I hope you’ll look back as we do and smile at the memories.

You’ll look back on those photos and think about how happy you all were. You won’t look at the hair but it’s shit when hair doesn’t do as it’s told. I feel you I bet no one else noticed your hair. That doesn’t help because you noticed it What did you like about how you looked that day, your make up, dress, shoes, dance moves? Focus on that :)

Lovely beachy curls on the right. Btw your tiara and dress look absolutely gorgeous from what I can see.

Sorry you’re upset.

It was all stuff you should have done at least a week before the wedding.

I know it’s utterly unhelpful to get advice /feedback that essentially boils down to ‘you need to go back in time’, but seriously.

It was always going to be chaotic doing all that to your hair, so last-minute.

I see what you mean, your hair does look much nicer and I think a better colour now

However your wedding hair isn't awful , it still looks really nice

Have another photo shoot if it really bothers you

I am sorry, OP, I understand how this is so upsetting. Definitely get dressed, get lovely make up & hair and book a photo session!