To be devastated about wedding hair...

[Shitshitshitshitshit]

Trying to quickly summarise:

Wanted long hair again for wedding. Asked hairdresser for balayage and then hair extensions were matched to natural hair. The natural hair was too warm for the hair extensions, I went back and hairdresser toned it but didnt do the root melt I asked for, still did not look right.
Went to a different stylist who put a root melt on my hair but added thick bleach stripes to the front when I showed a photo and asked for subtle, lighter 'face framing'pieces at the front.

Had to go back to original hair dresser to have fitted extra pack of extensions she ordered and I paid for (after the original lot were fitted), because she underestimated how thick my natural hair was.

She successfully toned down the bleached stripes at the front for me. Unfortunately this was the day before the wedding due to the multiple fuck ups limiting my time.

Another unfortunately- she told me not to wash my hair that night like I was planning, as the toner might drop out. I said, even though i haven't washed it for several days? She said yes it will style better when dirty anyway.

I followed her instructions and didnt wash it. As a result, the hair was a monumental fuck up the next day, it was too greasy to hold the wavy/hair down style and dry shampoo and texture spray seemed to make it worse. Bridal prep was horrendous chaos anyway and I didnt have time to realise that the only thing that could save it was to quickly wash and dry the natural hair on top. I found myself being rushed to the aisle feeling like utter shit and in an utter panic.
There was only one photo taken of me by a guest and it confirms my suspicions that it looked like a straggly, cheap mess.

I know I wont like any photos taken by the photographer with me in because of the hair.

To top it off, the venue played the music during the ceremony and wedding Breakfast so quietly that no one could hear it at all. Then they brought the wedding cake out really late, by the time most of the children had to go to bed. I had to cut the cake into pieces myself and ask them to bring a stack of plates.

I cant talk about this anymore with my new husband, hes getting really upset realising we wont have any photos of us on our wedding day that dont make me want to cry.

I really feel like I'm grieving horribly.

Oh how disappointing. Allow yourself to grieve. Do try to find a solution though either have a follow up photo shoot or see if photos can be edited.

Sorry you’re upset, the build up to weddings is so stressful and there’s so much expectation that I think most brides get upset about something. With regards to photos, all photos look better - and more flattering - in black and white so if you really dislike them that’s an option. I know it sounds weird but black and white are more ‘forgiving’ so you may be happier with them.

Long term you’ll be less upset. I had something that didn’t go to plan on my day which pissed me off at the time but truly now I look back and all I can remember is the good stuff and laugh about things I really disliked at the time.

Obviously your hair looks more 'done' on the photo on the right, but your wedding hair does not look shit at all. I agree with PP that you'll eventually look back at photos and not even notice the hair.

No amount of talking about it will change what went wrong. Maybe look at other ways you can get a bit of the magic back. Perhaps just dress up again over a weekend and get a photographer to come and do some new shots on location outside a church or something, so you still have some pictures that look good.

Honestly I prefer your wedding day hair, it looks beachy, natural and youthful.

Much prefer the wedding day hair! I’d kill to look like that!

I think it looks fine, I know it’s clearly not how you want it, but it’s certainly far from awful. Try and let it go and as PP said focus on what’s important

Your wedding hair is not what I was expecting, it looks natural and gives me laid back beachy vibes. It’s not as ‘done’ as the other photo but it looks lovely nonetheless. I was expecting full on scarecrow style from how you described it!

I think because of all the difficulties you went through you're not being objective. It really doesn't look that bad. I know it's not what you envisaged but it's also not looking like a complete disaster.

I agree with another poster, your wedding day hair looks fab, very beachy, very natural and not over-styled which is horribly dated anyway. I get that you wanted it to be perfect but see it as an intro to married life's challenges, it's not all a bed of roses but if you have each other's backs, it's all good.

I'm sorry you're disappointed 💕 I promise you'll feel better about it in time. I'm not massively thrilled with my wedding hair (went scraggy very quickly, no ones fault!) And i weighed more than i was hoping on my wedding day. But I still love my wedding photos 💕 from the photo your hair really doesn't look as bad as you think it does x x

Love this idea!!! Definitely consider it OP!

I can't see what was wrong with it. It looks perfectly fine and nicer than the tonged look in the other picture.

im not going to tell you how to feel about it - I hated my hair on my wedding day (and a fuck load of things went wrong in the weeks leading up to it and on the day itself , major things) but I’m allowed to feel shit about the way my hair looked too
you (generally) only get one wedding and unless you’re a performer or a celebrity there’s few other occasions where there’s so much pressure to look your best.

your hair looks lovely to me in the pic you posted but if it’s not what you had hoped for and your budget allowed I’d definitely do a photo shoot and frame it

Have to say your wedding hair looks good. It may not be what you wanted but I’m certain everyone else thought you looked very beautiful and swishy.

‘Grieving horribly’ crikey get a grip OP 🙄

I couldn’t have cared less about my wedding hair. Had a simple spiky twist under sufference.

Then went for a thrill ride in an open-topped car before the photos. My hairdresser was furious. 🤣

I think the hair on the right is a very current style that will probably become dated in years to come. Whereas the hair on the left like others say, is more beachy and natural and won’t date. Like back in the 80s and 90s everyone had giant hair and we laugh at those styles now- this will probably happen with the current styles of big curled hair, big lips and fake eyelashes. Your beachy wedding hair will remain timeless.

Agree with previous posters. Arrange a photo shoot with your wedding clothes on. Do your own make up and hair this time.

Your wedding hair looks good. I’m sorry it’s not what you wanted but hopefully you will feel better in time.
I totally understand “grieving” to an extent. I ended up with a lockdown wedding and although it ended up perfect for us I definitely was upset that some parts weren’t as planned.
show your photos to your friends and family when you get them, people gushing over them will make you feel better about them! X

It's very far from being a disaster. I can see it's not what you planned but it looks ok.

I do think some perspective wouldn't go amiss here.

I've seen lots of my friends get married and quite a few of them have been fixated on the little things that didn't go right, even years down the line.

Please think about all the wonderful things that happened on your wedding day and the fact you're fortunate enough to have met someone worth marrying and planning a future with.

If I get married I won't be setting foot near a hairdresser or make-up artist. Too many tales of woe from brides whose focus ends up on a bit of their look not going right.

From the little we can see in the photo OP I'd place bets that you looked great.

congratulations on your wedding. you are married, that is the important bit.

take the photo with hair you like + the wedding photo and have a photoshop expert edit the correct hair in. use that photo for sharing online etc. cheaper & easier than a photoshoot. and in a few years time, you'll have forgotten all about it.

Devastated and grieving? If having slightly straggly hair while marrying someone you love surrounded by friends and family is all you have to be upset about, you're not doing too badly.

If you had your hair dyed the day before your wedding then you also had your hair washed the day before your wedding.