To want my housemate’s girlfriend to pay for basically living in our house?

[summerclocks]

I live in a shared house with 3 other people. One of them has got a new girlfriend who basically lives in our house now. They have been together for about two months and she spends at least 5-6 days a week in our house.

We really didn’t have an issue with this but she’s starting to become a problem. The house has 3 allocated parking spaces for the 3 people in our house with cars. She always parks in whatever space is empty when she comes around, not just her boyfriend’s but also mine or my other housemates. I work until late and it’s very annoying to have to come home to fight for my parking space. When none of our spaces are available she takes up our neighbours! We have asked her to stop but she doesn’t.

She is very careless with her use of water and electricity when she’s around. She works from home so when her bf is out she’ll stay here all day like it’s her house, has up to 2 baths a day and usually uses the oven for meals and leaves all lights on. She does all her washing here and even has friends over when her bf is not around like this is her house.

We have a smart meter and have definitely seen an increase in our electricity and gas use since she started living here. It is very frustrating that she’s almost moved in and having all this for free.

I am just exhausted of having to put up with someone that doesn’t even live here or even contributes to this house yet causes all of our problems!

YADNBU. Is she even allowed to be there so much in line with the tenancy agreement?

If she is I'd suggest costs start being split 5 ways instead of 4. If she refuses, she's not welcome more than 2 nights a week and needs to work and bathe at home.

You need to speak with your flatmates and put together some house rules. No being there when he bf isn’t there, no parking in any of your spaces or neighbours spaces, only allowed to stay over x nights per week, no doing her washing there, etc.

If you don’t want her to live there (since she basically is!) then you all need to tell the actual person you live with that he needs to put an end to this. WFH at someone else’s house is ridiculous, yanbu at all!

Cheeky mare.

I agree, check the contract and speak to your housemate. Tell him/her they need to move out if they don't agree with the rules and take the girlfriend with them. No way would I be financially supporting someone's gf and the parking issue would be a deal breaker. Cheeky cow !

We have asked him to please tell her to go home when he’s not around because she is a stranger to us. Sometimes we are all out for work and she’s the only one in the house. He says that she’s just stays in his room and isn’t disturbing anyone and because he’s always at work then her use of utilities is almost like he’s using it so he doesn’t see the need for her to pay extra 🥴

She is very sneaky around the house and is very careful about not meeting us in the hallway or kitchen as she knows we strongly dislike her. We have been unable to speak to her in person about it recently and only do so through him

You have to put some rules in place and if needed to clear to her its not her house

Wait till its winter and she wants the heating on!

Check your tenancy. There’s probably rules against someone staying over that much. A quick search says more than 14 days over a six week period - but that may not apply everywhere so check your paperwork. They are absolutely taking the piss.

This is definitely cheeky fuckery.

Is there anything useful about this in your tenancy agreement? You might also consider talking to the landlord about it, who may not be happy at all with somebody they don't know being left alone in their property, not least because it may well invalidate insurance.

What does the 3rd housemate have to say? If it's two against one then you have a better chance.

Why not call a housemate meeting and make it clear that it is for the three of you only.

Presumably when you find her parked in your space you go and tell her to move it? Have you told her to not do it again? Frankly in your shoes I'd have no problem going and banging on their bedroom door and telling her to move the damn car, likewise when I notice she's having her second bath of the day I'd be bloody well waiting on the landing for her to come out and tell her that her use of your house is excessive and cheeky fuckery, and she needs to go bathe at home if she wants to waste so much electricity and water she can damn well pay for it herself.

Thank you to everyone suggesting to check our tenancy agreement. I hadn’t thought of that. Will try to sort this out in a friendly manner but otherwise I might contact the landlords as they literally have an almost unauthorised tenant in this house.

I actually forgot that a few days ago we got a package addressed to her delivered to this house. I don’t know if she can get some sort of tenancy rights due to that but we definitely must put an end to this.

We have been unable to speak to her in person about it recently and only do so through him

I find this hard to believe.

She's literally living there and yet not one of you have managed to speak to her?

How does your tenancy work ? Can you ask him to leave and get a new flatmate?
If not either you move out or you phone him every time his GF does something worthy of comment such as parking in your space, having two baths a day etc.etc.
Ultimately you may need to move out.

Also, if any one of you (who actually rent the house) are working from home when the others aren't there would need to be a conversation about electricity and bills, let alone a bloody extra cheeky fucker, so he's going to have to come up with a better excuse for why you and the other housemate have to foot the extra bills for his girlfriend.

I actually forgot that a few days ago we got a package addressed to her delivered to this house. I don’t know if she can get some sort of tenancy rights due to that but we definitely must put an end to this.

Fucking hell that's bad.

Meh I've being in these situations and to be honest you can't win. Talk to the landlord but other than that I'd say move, these problems rarely go away.

@CheezePleeze We have talked to her in the past. I said we haven’t been able to “recently”. As issues have continued to escalate she avoids us as much as possible. She’s almost fully aware of our working schedules so she’ll avoid coming out of the room if she knows we are walking about the house. I’ll sometimes be in the kitchen and as soon as I walk back to my room and close the door I’ll hear theirs opening.

They are taking the piss. She gets extra tax relief for WFH. It's about £6 a week.she is also using your space, gas, electric and water. That doesn't come for free. How long do you have left on the tenancy? I wouldn't want to pay for a mooch. Your flat mate might think it's okay because he's getting laid but ultimately there's no benefit to you.

@ThereIbledit

I haven’t checked our tenancy agreement because I hadn’t really though if it. I’m searching for to right now. All of my other housemates are quite upset about it too but they are a bit less confrontational people. They’ll tell her off for little things like leaving lights on but other times they just accept it. If she parks in their space they’ll just go and park somewhere else.

I have personally asked her to move out of my space when I need it and also the few times the neighbours have come knocking on our door to complain. We used to have a very good relationship with them which is obviously deteriorating as I guess they think we’re allowing this to happen

Are you all on one Tenancy Agreement? If so a get together to establish some generally acceptable standards would be a good idea. You will all be jointly and severally liable for any damage to the property, so it’s not unreasonable to object to someone who is not on the tenancy being there when no one can supervise her actions.
Overnight visitor frequency is for negotiation, but a reasonable rule of thumb is everyone being treated the same. So if he wants his girlfriend to stay over 2 nights a week, the remaining 3 tenants have the same option, meaning that on one night PW there will be 2 visitors. If he wants her there more then the situation is worse. The rest of you might not currently want to have anyone to stay overnight, but the principle remains.
If you all have separate tenancies please inform the landlord immediately. If the property is treated as an HMO it might need a licence from the council if 5 people are living there. That is a huge expense and the landlord will almost certainly take action to put a stop to her being there so much.
Your flatmate’s argument that he works and is out so she is using ‘his’ electricity doesn’t make sense. He surely doesn’t work 24/7 or never have a shower or use the washing machine.

Next time she does her clothes washing, remove the clothes before she does (or while the cycle is still on), and use that as a bargaining chip.

Bin liner (if clothes are wet).

Lock in your roomn.

You can give it back to the BF-housemate after the GF leaves, for him to give back to her.

You and the other flat mate need to get together and team up, sit with the guy and let him know you want that GF out of the picture, or just kick him out end of.

We had this with a flatmate. She would go out to work and leave the electric fire blasting away in her room so that it was nice and warm when her boyfriend came round while she was at work .We had to demand that re turn the key she had given him

Or maybe stop it mid cycle and put a red sock or similar in.

You need to all get a bit more direct.