To want my housemate’s girlfriend to pay for basically living in our house?

[summerclocks]

I live in a shared house with 3 other people. One of them has got a new girlfriend who basically lives in our house now. They have been together for about two months and she spends at least 5-6 days a week in our house.

We really didn’t have an issue with this but she’s starting to become a problem. The house has 3 allocated parking spaces for the 3 people in our house with cars. She always parks in whatever space is empty when she comes around, not just her boyfriend’s but also mine or my other housemates. I work until late and it’s very annoying to have to come home to fight for my parking space. When none of our spaces are available she takes up our neighbours! We have asked her to stop but she doesn’t.

She is very careless with her use of water and electricity when she’s around. She works from home so when her bf is out she’ll stay here all day like it’s her house, has up to 2 baths a day and usually uses the oven for meals and leaves all lights on. She does all her washing here and even has friends over when her bf is not around like this is her house.

We have a smart meter and have definitely seen an increase in our electricity and gas use since she started living here. It is very frustrating that she’s almost moved in and having all this for free.

I am just exhausted of having to put up with someone that doesn’t even live here or even contributes to this house yet causes all of our problems!

@Haffiana

Are you the GF?

If she were there 2-3 nights and he went
To her flat for 2-3 nights it would be fairer and easier to accept but doesn't sound as if that's the case

Innocently

cuntlodger

Or key the car :)

Crikey. She and your flatmate, her BF, must have necks of brass.

You've made your feelings clear. They've both ignored them (in fact, they've thumbed their noses at them.)

I cannot see one single good reason that you don't take responsibility for your dislike and distrust of this CF and go straight to the landlord.

You don't need back up from any of your other flat mates: you signed a tenancy agreement which stated you shared with x number of others and had a guaranteed parking space.

That agreement has been shit on from a great height and I'm pretty sure that legally your landlord has an obligation to see that it is enforced. You may even be entitled to sue him for breach of contract! (I'm not suggesting you do - unless he refuses to act.)

Quite apart from that, your landlord could find themself in deep doo doo because his insurance will be invalidated; his licence or whatever it is landlords need these days, may be revoked, and the fire services will be most unhappy about an overcrowded flat.

And, as someone said already, the little coo is cheating on Council Tax.

Remove the plug in the bathrooom, 2 baths a day is really ttp.

100% talk to your landlord. This has serious ramifications for him as his insurance won't be valid and he's at risk of unknowingly having an unauthorised HMO. Hopefully you're all on separate tenancies? In which case landlord can warn the bf and then evict if he doesn't follow the rules.

Do not talk about splitting bills etc, that puts you in collusion with the problem. I'm sorry though OP, it's a crappy situation.

Don’t do this. You’d basically be inviting her to stay and become one of the gang, but you don’t want that. You want her to leave. Don’t mess around - just go straight to the landlord.

Have you got access to elec circuit breaker box? Turn off all circuits except the one your fridge/freezer is on, duringthe day when you are out. You can also get a lock for the socket the washing machine etc is on if on same circuit. Also turn off the boiler & the water stop cock. Wait by the door for her coming in & remove keys from her on entry. Change wifi password. Notify landlord immediately. If she parks in your parking space, wheel lock it.

Bloody cheek. I'd either tell him to move out or you and the 3rd person move out. A very difficult problem. Good luck.

You would think so but I have had very similar experiences and the stubbornness these type of people can exhibit is staggering. That's how they survive though. Think about it - this lady knows the housemates hate her being there yet she continues, just finding ways (hiding in her room) to get around it.

OP, house meeting with your actual housemates asap and you need to go hard. Tell him that he will need to move out. No suggestions of reduced visits, financial contributions or anything else. They have shown they won't be reasonable.

This situation is awful but now during an energy crisis it stinks. She’s a cuckoo in your nest, taking when most people are struggling. They sound well matched. I wouldn’t move out as rent has risen, let him move. See how rosy the relationship is then . Cheeky sods.

She's out of order. Not her house. If I was to be in that position, I would want to be paying money in, if I was all but living there. Your unwanted tenant isn't only causing problems in your building, but by taking neighbours' spaces, she's putting pressure on any good will you have with other local residents.

Now is the time to open your mouth and speak to your room mate about her. You know she is being unreasonable. The question is, why do you feel you cannot confront the matter and resort to mumsnet of all places to ask if you are being unreasonable about someone basically thieving from you.

Please speak to your room mate and their girlfriend ASAP. Use the word 'no' more often - it's helpful

And, no, you're DNBU

Why the hell haven't you just reported this to the landlord?

Where does she live officially? With her parents? Takers will carry on until the givers stop. You all need to be more forthright, even aggressive ( not violent! 😊) because your reasonable approach has so far not worked and has possibly been seen as weakness.
First suggestion is that she officially moves in and the rent and bills to be split 5 ways. I doubt that will happen as she’s a freeloader. Next step…
Gang up on these two, get the landlord round, tell them both to get out if necessary. Get ready for one almighty row.
Finally, I strongly advise that you put EVERYTHING in writing and insist on replies in writing. Copies to the landlord. That should put the wind up the pair of them.

😂good one, better than what I was coming up with.
Pussylodger
Fannylodger

These people sound like ultimate CFs so reasonable negotiation is probably not possible.

Have you reported this to the landlord? They would want to know that there is an unannounced, non-paying tenant, not least because it will have implications for them in terms of insurance. They may also be interested in hearing about how this person is upsetting the neighbours.

Oh my gosh - I selected the wrong option by accident; I am SOOOO SORRY!

YANBU. I would raise this. Call a house meeting and have everyone input their thoughts. She needs to pull her weight if she is there basically all the time. If the original tenants consist of a couple and a single person, things would be split 3 ways from the beginning. There is zero difference here.

The fact she is there isn't a problem, but her courtesy of boundaries that exist in maintaining harmony in the home is an issue. She clearly has none and thinks she is above everyone.

This needs to be addressed. The sooner, the better for all involved.

Many apologies once again for selecting the wrong survey response: You are definitely NOT being unreasonable.

I've just read some of the responses and a lot of these are saying "go to the landlord". I don't know how things work overseas, but in my experience as a long-term renter, landlords just want:

1. Their money with no hassle/need to chase it.
2. Someone reliable.
3. Someone who takes care of their property.

I really think this should be settled like adults without needing to bring a 3rd party into the mix. You don't want to cause trouble by getting the landlord involved or create a negative experience in their mind.

Properties are leased on the dwelling, not so much the number of occupants (within reason). People have children while renting, people get hitched to partners while renting. There is no need to over-exaggerate the situation by saying "The lease is only for 3 people, not 4".

Deal with this as a responsible adult. If the group cannot reach an agreement, then the majority either request for the person with the free-loader move-out, or you guys find an alternate property and cut them out of the new arrangements.
When renting with other people (plural), you likely are paying more money for a bigger dwelling to accommodate everyone. No one wants to / is able to pay for all the rent on their own in this situation.

It's unlikely the person won't agree to find alternate accommodation for him and his freeloader.

The less stress involved for all, the better.

You need to contact the landlord and let them know that CF girlfriend of X is now staying in his property since the date she arrived.

Let them know that she is currently working from home in your flat and say you have seen post been sent to her at your address.
Let your landlord know she is taking your parking space and that if she can't park their she is parking in the neighbors space. Tell them as well that you had the neighbors complaint to you about her doing this.

You seem to be good tenants. You got on well up to now with the neighbors but since she arrived your getting complaint's from the neighbors.

Tell the neighbors that she is not a tenant in your flat, that you have contacted the landlord about her and here is the landlords number to contact them.

I start making life hard on her their. Bang on the bedroom door when she takes your space and tell her to move her car. Trip the electrical switches that control the hot water, washing machine ect. If she is eating your foods or drinking your milk put a load of laxitatives in it -a good dose of the runs might help her.

If she is using the washing machine put it to a boil wash. Take the plug from the bath in the bathroom room.

Ask her boyfriend in front of her when are they planning to move out or when are they planning to get married? Tell her x here is the pregnancy test you left behind in the bathroom in front of him.

Bang on the door when you knew they are having sex. On a Sat or Sunday morning go out early but leave loud music on in your locked bedroom. Start with the hover, washing machine early on sat/sun morning especially if they came home late the night before.

Ring the landlord when you know she is working from home in the flat and let her be caught their by your landlord.

Poisoning someone is not a great idea, unless OP wants a criminal record

@summerclocks

Any update on this? I hope your housemate and his GF have stopped being CFers

😂😂 @Bookloverjay

I hope that you and your housemates lock your rooms in case she goes wandering into your room.
Also, you don't know who she may bring into the house during the day. I assume she has her own key now, but you won't know about it.

But the best thing is you speak to the flatmate and put a stop to this. You do not need to speak to the girlfriend or consider what she has to say. She has no skin in the game. You do not give her airtime.

and you do not ask for her contribution to rent. Once you do that, you have lost control of your home. Then she is entitled to invite who she wants into the home.

@summerclocks is the freeloader still there?

I would also make her guests incredibly uncomfortable and tell them to leave. They are not welcome and are trespassing

Be firm if you have to. Open the door and tell them to fuck off out of your home. It’s not hers and she has no right to be there.