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Original poster

To want my housemate’s girlfriend to pay for basically living in our house?

226 replies

summerclocks · 30/10/2022 14:05

I live in a shared house with 3 other people. One of them has got a new girlfriend who basically lives in our house now. They have been together for about two months and she spends at least 5-6 days a week in our house.

We really didn’t have an issue with this but she’s starting to become a problem. The house has 3 allocated parking spaces for the 3 people in our house with cars. She always parks in whatever space is empty when she comes around, not just her boyfriend’s but also mine or my other housemates. I work until late and it’s very annoying to have to come home to fight for my parking space. When none of our spaces are available she takes up our neighbours! We have asked her to stop but she doesn’t.

She is very careless with her use of water and electricity when she’s around. She works from home so when her bf is out she’ll stay here all day like it’s her house, has up to 2 baths a day and usually uses the oven for meals and leaves all lights on. She does all her washing here and even has friends over when her bf is not around like this is her house.

We have a smart meter and have definitely seen an increase in our electricity and gas use since she started living here. It is very frustrating that she’s almost moved in and having all this for free.

I am just exhausted of having to put up with someone that doesn’t even live here or even contributes to this house yet causes all of our problems!

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 30/10/2022 15:10

Your problem is with your flat mate. Not the girlfriend.

Theydoyaknow · 30/10/2022 15:10

The NECK of her! Cheeky freeloader. You really need to come down hard on this though.

SpookabooAtTheZoo · 30/10/2022 15:11

Inform the landlord because he may need a HMO licence for an additional person (and expensive extra facilities).

Ylvamoon · 30/10/2022 15:22

Check the contract ... then sit down with the facts.
Plus work out how much extra in electricity you are paying
How much your parking space costs...
Water rates and so on.
Then thell the pair of them your expectations.

skyeisthelimit · 30/10/2022 15:29

Firstly she shouldn't have her own key to come and go. They would be paying 2/5 if she is there, however she shouldn't be there.

If he wants to live with her then he needs to find his own place. They are using more electricity etc, his excuse doesn't wash because HE is out all day, so her WFH is consuming extra electricity, and it is not her home.

This is not going to improve unless you do something about it. If you can't sit down and have a sensible house meeting, then you will need to report it to your LL for them to deal with.

skyeisthelimit · 30/10/2022 15:31

Also, the parking space should be his problem. If she parks in one space, ie his space, then he needs to park elsewhere. If he is too scared to raise all this with her then he is not in a good relationship. or maybe both of them are CF who don't care.

CheezePleeze · 30/10/2022 15:31

summerclocks · 30/10/2022 14:46

@CheezePleeze We have talked to her in the past. I said we haven’t been able to “recently”. As issues have continued to escalate she avoids us as much as possible. She’s almost fully aware of our working schedules so she’ll avoid coming out of the room if she knows we are walking about the house. I’ll sometimes be in the kitchen and as soon as I walk back to my room and close the door I’ll hear theirs opening.

Yeah that's exactly what I find hard to understand.

Why don't you just bang on the room door?

Or when you hear her coming out of the room, follow her.

GreyGoose1980 · 30/10/2022 15:33

Do you all have separate rental agreements with a landlord? If so, if you’ve tried to talk to your housemate and he’s ignoring the issue, then the other two of you housemates need to go to the landlord and ask them to speak with him to either change this unacceptable behaviour or he moves out.

Soakitup37 · 30/10/2022 15:36

She pays up or he goes. Cf!

people like that will keep going until they are given an ultimatum. This isn’t the economy of being friendly with utilities etc.

this would infuriate me!

Worriedpartner1234 · 30/10/2022 15:36

Regarding the parking space, every time she is in yours then knock on the door and get her to move it.

Maggiethe · 30/10/2022 15:42

CheezePleeze · 30/10/2022 14:41

We have been unable to speak to her in person about it recently and only do so through him

I find this hard to believe.

She's literally living there and yet not one of you have managed to speak to her?

See the points above. She avoids them all.

tryandcountsheep · 30/10/2022 15:43

Its simple, YOU TELL YOUR LANDLORD.
.

Flabbers · 30/10/2022 15:44

I'm a landlord and my tenants wanted to have someone stay (a friend who was in trouble) for three months. They asked my permission. The tenancy agreement does not allow for anyone else to live in the hour, only those on the lease. (I said yes)

Marcipex · 30/10/2022 15:45

Knock on their door asking for a chat.
Repeat loudly.
Repeat ditto
And again …
Sit outside their door until they open up
Take clothes out of machine
Remove bath plug.
Return post with Not Known Here on it.

Be direct. She needs to pay 1/5 of the rent.
or get your landlord to intervene.

CheezePleeze · 30/10/2022 15:47

See the points above. She avoids them all.

I did and they're not points at all, they're excuses.

Wherearemymarbles · 30/10/2022 15:50

Turn the stop cock off. - no water 😀
i dont know the place is heat but if gas you can turn the gas off too!

but 100 % has to be sorted even if you have to shout through the door!

LookItsMeAgain · 30/10/2022 15:51

You need to be direct.

She is not a resident in the house, she is a guest of a resident. She doesn't get to enjoy the facilities of the house (including the parking) as she isn't a resident.
Doesn't matter what her boyfriend says, in case he says "Well she's using the stuff I'm not when I'm not here".
The fact is she is using the stuff (electricty/water/gas/heating/lighting) when he isn't there and when he is (as he is using that too at that point). If he wasn't there, and she wasn't there, it just wouldn't be used at all.

Check your tenancy agreement.
Enforce the parking space issue. If he want's to let her park there, you allocate between you which space each of you can use and then she parks in that one and that one only. Then he can pay for on street parking or park somewhere else. You shouldn't be inconvenienced by her parking nor should your other housemates.

Best of luck to you.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/10/2022 15:52

Just complain to the landlord as I don’t see it being resolved in any other way.

Ellie1015 · 30/10/2022 15:52

For car parking tell your housemate he has to park somewhere else when she is parked there.

Sounds a nightmare i would also agree a general rule on how many overnights anyone can have an no visitors when not home ie you can't invite someone to move in!

tillytoodles1 · 30/10/2022 15:54

Turn the electricity off when you out.

LookItsMeAgain · 30/10/2022 15:54

I would also strongly advise you not to go after her or him for 1/5th of the rent. If you do she will (and he will) just say "We're paying for it now. Leave us alone" and she will have become a resident/housemate by stealth.
As long as she is freeloading, you have the power to complain to the landlord and/or the other resident and get them out.

Maytodecember · 30/10/2022 15:56

I don’t know if she can get some sort of tenancy rights due to that but we definitely must put an end to this.

She can’t acquire tenancy rights. When you were accepted as tenants your landlord will have run a credit check on all of you ( if you’re all named on the agreement), I assume you also supplied references, proof of income and after all that was accepted you were issued a tenancy agreement. What I would suggest that if she’s staying the bf pays an increased amount to cover her expenses ( gas, elec, water) but I think you have to say she leaves, or he does.
If you can’t find your tenancy agreement ask your landlord for a copy.
There could be other points you get her out on —- for example the fire risk assessment will have been done on the number of people in the flat, she skews that by being an extra person.
Insurance —- the landlord will have insured the building and will have declared the number of people living in his property. In the event of a major claim it could be invalidated if there was an extra person.
Be firm, a housemates meeting, make your points calmly and clearly.

dottiedodah · 30/10/2022 15:57

I would go through the Landlord .Your flatmates sound young and inexperienced .Dont put wet clothes in your room ,they will smell (not good for you!)and you will have them moaning about it ,and make you seem unreasonable .Maybe speak to the neighbours and get back up from them re the parking situation.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 30/10/2022 16:11

Honestly, I have lived with CF housemates and being tactful doesn't work. They thrive on it. Check your tenancy agreement and talk to your landlord w hatever it says. The insurance won't cover four people living in the house, and the landlord will want more money if this woman has moved in, which she has for practical purposes. Where does she live when she's not in your house? With family? I doubt she's paying rent somewhere else.

Cw112 · 30/10/2022 16:17

House meeting. For flatmates only. You then all need to provide a united front and say that there are 3 options here. Gf stops treating it like her home and being wasteful with your bills or bills will be split in 4 instead of in 3 and the 3rd flatmate and his gf can pick up 2 shares of the expense. Tell him its non negotiable and you and the second housemate start putting in a reduced amount going forwards. Agree boundaries and a housemates contract that includes rules for all guests.

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