To want my housemate’s girlfriend to pay for basically living in our house?

[summerclocks]

I live in a shared house with 3 other people. One of them has got a new girlfriend who basically lives in our house now. They have been together for about two months and she spends at least 5-6 days a week in our house.

We really didn’t have an issue with this but she’s starting to become a problem. The house has 3 allocated parking spaces for the 3 people in our house with cars. She always parks in whatever space is empty when she comes around, not just her boyfriend’s but also mine or my other housemates. I work until late and it’s very annoying to have to come home to fight for my parking space. When none of our spaces are available she takes up our neighbours! We have asked her to stop but she doesn’t.

She is very careless with her use of water and electricity when she’s around. She works from home so when her bf is out she’ll stay here all day like it’s her house, has up to 2 baths a day and usually uses the oven for meals and leaves all lights on. She does all her washing here and even has friends over when her bf is not around like this is her house.

We have a smart meter and have definitely seen an increase in our electricity and gas use since she started living here. It is very frustrating that she’s almost moved in and having all this for free.

I am just exhausted of having to put up with someone that doesn’t even live here or even contributes to this house yet causes all of our problems!

You don't want her to pay her way, you want the parking space you pay for and for the house share to be the number of people it was intended for. Tell the bloke it stops now, check your tenancy agreement and contact your landlord if needed.

What if you all end up moving a partner in? This is why it cannot be that she stays and pays for things. This is not sustainable so nip it in the bud now.

Hope you get it sorted out

What she is doing is unacceptable

I agree - I'd do all of these!

Did the four of you jointly enter into a tenancy agreement, or do you each have separate agreements with the LL?

If the former - tell him it’s got to stop, or whenever the tenancy ends, the three of you won’t renew with him (but find someone you do like to take the 4th place.)

If the latter, just dob him to the Landlord.

I had this in my first year at uni. Flatmate's boyfriend moved in (I had no say in this) but carried on commuting back to their hometown every weekday. Which meant him getting up at 5am. He would jump down the last few steps (my bedroom was on the ground floor) every fucking day. I asked him not to, but he carried on. He was an almighty twat. They never once offered to pay extra for bills, no rent, nothing. My other housemates weren't that bothered by it but they weren't getting woken up at 5am every day.

So I complained to the uni, and he was told to leave. She moved out with him. I didn't handle it very well tbh and was persona non grata with my remaining housemates but I just wasn't putting up with paying for him.

You get together with your flatmates and present a united front to the bloke.

Tell him that either his girlfriend stops coming around when he’s not there - or you’ll either involve the landlord, or he needs to move out. It’s his choice.

This isn’t your problem. It’s your flatmate’s problem. 100% hand the problem back to him.

Not read all PPs. Once you know what everyones' ''legal rights'' are , including landlord - send/give both the house mate and his girlfriend letters stating what you require both of them to do i.e. move out - because presumably the house mate is in breach of his contract with the landlord and girlfriend is not on the lease agreement nor is she contributing to running costs. The longer she stays the harder it will be to remove her - they both should go unless they break up.

I have had this situation. In my case I actually liked the “extra” person more than I liked the actual flatmate and managed to have a civil chat with him and they then spent more time at his house

but in most circumstances as PP have said the issue is the flatmate not his gf. Arrange a flat meeting for all flatmates not including partners. It sounds like you need to be the assertive one here. I think 2 nights a week is reasonable but No parking at all, unless the bf is not using his for some reason.

the same rules would apply though for any other flatmate partners

don’t go down the route of asking her to pay her way as that could be seen as subletting.

if things don’t improve speak to your LL.

Someone needs to loose their shit properly, she is relying on your politeness.

You aren’t capable of knocking on the door and telling them you need to talk?

Ooo this every morning at 8am.

Is approach the landlord about it but be up front with your flat mate about doing so and do it as a United team rather than just one of you.

I LOVE the idea of this. But in reality, speak to your landlord tomorrow. Get your CF and his moron GF tenant out.

Everything she/they are doing is totally out of order.

Staying there to ‘WFH’ when you’re not there, bringing strangers into your home and the parking thing - appalling.

Start an email with the bf and other housemates, cc’ing in the landlord.

Mention doing it this way is because previous conversations seem to fall on deaf ears.

Highlight all the issues in bullet point, ask the others if anything has been missed out.

Mention the issue with the parking and it’s also affecting the neighbours which of course you are not happy with. (Too many complaints from neighbours puts your tenancy in jeopardy)

In the short term change the Wi-Fi password or if you can just cut her access off. You need the admin login details to do this. You can also change the admin password.

I've had this before. New flatmate moved in, chosen by the landlord.
Two days after he moved in, a friend of his had a "flooded home", so she stayed with him for three weeks. Then his girlfriend came to visit from Belgium for eight weeks. Over the course of the next year, he had various "family and friends" staying.
When confronted, the flatmate denied all wrongdoings and claimed we were all making it up.
The landlord pussyfooted around a lot, until he finally put his foot down, no one was allowed any overnight guests anymore - not that we had guests very often

Landlord sold shortly after, so we all had to move out.

Yep. That's all you need to do. And do it soon.

Trying to speak to them and do this in a nice way will get you nowhere, as you've found out. They're takers and they will go on taking until you stop them.

Speak to your landlord and get it stopped.

It really is that simple.

YANBU - plenty of good advice above re talking to the landlord and having a house meeting.

Also definitely go and knock on the door - don't wait until you "bump into her" as clearly that's not happening.

Good luck.

Yup, give them one chance to do this fairly to all, and then contact the ll. Ensure the ll knows he’ll be losing good tenants if he doesn’t sort this.

This is on your housemate. This is extremely unfair on the rest of you. They both need to go.

I don’t know why you have just accepted his argument.

tell him she is not allowed to be there and that you won’t be allowing it.
every time he leaves bang on his door and order her out of your home. Constantly tell her through the door she is not welcome and must leave
make noise
turn off the Wifi and electric
return the parcels to sender
complain to him everyday and every time you see him.
Charge HIM for the extra electric… not her

She is not on the tendency and has no rights. She should not be there when her bf is not there. She should not be doing her washing or using your parking spaces.

next time a neighbour knocks, tell them it’s xxx’s girlfriend and to complain to him or give them the landlords number so they can complain directly to the landlord about xxx’s girlfriend.

are you all renting as a group or did you move in individually?

I too would be annoyed with this situation

Agree with just tell your landlord.
When I lived in professional house shares it was in our contract no more then 2 nights in 2 weeks.
If I had friends coming to visit I would ask all my housemates if they were OK with it in advance and generally my friends would cook a meal, bring beers and wine etc to say thanks to them. But crucially nobody took the piss!

*Speak to your landlord and get it stopped.

It really is that simple*

that's of they can/will help. Speaking to a ll doesn't always help, some will say they aren't getting involved.

She is living there but not admitting this. Hence why she thinks staying away 1-2 nights a week will fool you into thinking she is not living at yours. I had something similar and the person had stopped paying their lodge to their parents as they were not staying their more than a night a week and we're not eating food their much anymore or using the shower. She may even be staying at her parents or friends those 1 or 2 nights or may even be sneaking back into yours when she thinks you will all be unaware. Regardless of if she does have her own place she is living at yours and those days she would still be saving on gas and electric etc . It only adds up for me as I've been through it and the lengths others will go to so They can have extra cash in their pocket. She does need dealing with but you know that and just want ways to do that . I would bore on constantly about the cost of bills and tenancy clauses until your flatmate and his freeloading, using girlfriend get to be as fed up and irritated as they are making you feel xxxx

They can in the USA so she may think that it does, but no, it won't.
Deffo check your tenancy agreement 😊