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Original poster

To want my housemate’s girlfriend to pay for basically living in our house?

226 replies

summerclocks · 30/10/2022 14:05

I live in a shared house with 3 other people. One of them has got a new girlfriend who basically lives in our house now. They have been together for about two months and she spends at least 5-6 days a week in our house.

We really didn’t have an issue with this but she’s starting to become a problem. The house has 3 allocated parking spaces for the 3 people in our house with cars. She always parks in whatever space is empty when she comes around, not just her boyfriend’s but also mine or my other housemates. I work until late and it’s very annoying to have to come home to fight for my parking space. When none of our spaces are available she takes up our neighbours! We have asked her to stop but she doesn’t.

She is very careless with her use of water and electricity when she’s around. She works from home so when her bf is out she’ll stay here all day like it’s her house, has up to 2 baths a day and usually uses the oven for meals and leaves all lights on. She does all her washing here and even has friends over when her bf is not around like this is her house.

We have a smart meter and have definitely seen an increase in our electricity and gas use since she started living here. It is very frustrating that she’s almost moved in and having all this for free.

I am just exhausted of having to put up with someone that doesn’t even live here or even contributes to this house yet causes all of our problems!

OP posts:
rookiemere · 30/10/2022 19:05

If you know her car reg number put a note through your neighbours door with your flatmates ( her BF) telephone number to contact if she parks them in or steals their spot.

CambsAlways · 30/10/2022 19:06

She’s a cheeky mare

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:08

Oh and by the boyfriends reckoning he expects that he should be entitled to 24 hour cover of electricity and gas etc and that's meaning that when she's in the house without him she's using it but then when they are in the house together they are both using it so say he's at work 8-5 then that's 9 hours she's entitled to according to him to make up for him bring out and then when he gets home at say 5 then that's 15 hours that they are both potentially getting and no doubt she's got her computer and phone charging and is using your WiFi to upload many selfies of herself and then she's no doubt off to get that second bath while he watches TV and then he will go get a bath or shower too. So not all usage combined while together either so I would divide the electric bill by 3 and then suggest that he pays his 3rd and a half which he then reimburses you and the other flatmate with meaning you and that flatmate would pay 2/3 rds of the electric and the gas bill should be split 4 ways. This should be the first suggestion and then begin talking about other financial splitting of bills and I reckon she will pout and moan and he will then see what a pain she is and you will no doubt get some resolution one way or the other either with her gone or her presence benefitting you and the other flatmate with extra cash in your own pockets xx

snakeitoff · 30/10/2022 19:13

House meeting needed. Set
Ground rules. She can stay 2 nights. He can stay at hers 2 nights

Or If they want to live together then they get their own place

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:14

Imagine the passive aggressive tricks she would try just to try to get back at you such as leaving the lights on and having the heating blaring for just her. Imagine her outrage when you calmly state 'oh it doesnt matter as it will up the bill yes, but you'll both be paying the usual and the extra on top which will be easy to work out based on previous bills, so no problem you are welcome to have it as warm and bright as you like seeing as you will be paying for it' . All said with a fake friendly smile designed to annoy but look totally innocent to anyone else lol xx

snakeitoff · 30/10/2022 19:18

I really dont think the tenancy agreement is relevant

They know the agreement is only for 4 people. They know they're taking the piss

You need to make her feel unwelcome. Im sure they'll want to move on soon

Irridescantshimmmer · 30/10/2022 19:23

You may need to involve your landlord. Although her bf is probably not guilty of subletting, having 2 baths a day and running up all yours and your flatmatrs bills right in the middle of the cost of living rise, looks like she's taking the ...pith and this is not fare. So yeah speak with the LL, get them on your side and if not then contact citizens advice bureau because the sooner this problem is dealt with, the better.

Pipsquiggle · 30/10/2022 19:24

Regarding asking for more money; you and your other housemates need to decide whether you actually want her around. Giving her the option of paying may give her more license for her CFery behaviour.

Personally I would steer clear of asking for more money go down the tenancy agreement, house meeting and ground rules route first

StoneofDestiny · 30/10/2022 19:26

So you are all paying for her accommodation, heating, water, lighting and parking? Obviously you all need to tell her she cannot stay.

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:34

Pipsquiggle · 30/10/2022 19:24

Regarding asking for more money; you and your other housemates need to decide whether you actually want her around. Giving her the option of paying may give her more license for her CFery behaviour.

Personally I would steer clear of asking for more money go down the tenancy agreement, house meeting and ground rules route first

To be honest my belief was that they won't want to pay the money as he's already had the cheek to say she is using his share. So obviously they are both tight and greedy and this would get rid of her much easier than agreeing to 1 or 2 nights as they will just split the nights up so that it seems she is only staying 2 nights and he will sneak her in and tell her to be quiet etc . Maybe my suggestion isn't the most obvious or direct option but sometimes you have to adopt other alternative actions to get the best outcome . Either way it's not fair to the flatmates being taken the piss out of xx

ThreeblackCats · 30/10/2022 19:38

As my mum used to say … “you have a tongue in your head”

fucking tell her, and him!

she’s using more than her fair share of gas, electric, water etc. She’s using a parking spot that’s not hers and that makes your life difficult. Don’t pussyfoot around such an inconsiderate cow.

PrtScn · 30/10/2022 19:40

Get your landlord involved. Ideally you want her out, and it's in his interests to facilitate this as well (emphasise she's causing problems with the neighbours as well) In the interim;

  • how is your water heated? Any way to turn hot water off during the day to deter the baths?
  • Have you access to the washing machine plug? If so, remove the fuse so she can't use it. Same with any other appliance she would access during the day. Hide the kettle etc.
  • Regards the Wi-Fi - presumably changing the password would be a PITA, as the bf would just tell her the new one as he's entitled to use the Wi-Fi as he's paying for it. Can one of you take the router to work with you so she can't access the internet during the day?
  • Parking - anyway to block her in? I'd be straight up banging on the door making her move if she parked in my space.
witchesbubblebath · 30/10/2022 19:44

She's a knob, especially because bills are as inflated as they are. Even if the bills were as before, you wouldn't be being unreasonable. 2 baths a day when people are cutting back is twattery.

IntrovertedPenguin · 30/10/2022 19:45

I'd start turning the electric and hot water off in the day.

Go straight to your landlord. Don't leave it.

5128gap · 30/10/2022 19:50

You're focusing on the wrong person here. This woman has no rights and no responsibilities. She could spend every waking hour there, use it as her postal address and use every utlity in the place, she still has no rights and no responsibilities, as she is a guest not a tenant.
You need to raise your issues with the person who does, her BF.
Hating her and thinking up ways to make her unwelcome is avoiding rocking the boat with the person you should be challenging. She might be cheeky, but she owes you nothing. The guy you share with does.
He is allowing his guest to cause a nuisance and rip you off and expecting you to put up with it to facilitate his sex life. Who knows what he's told her about what she is welcome to do/ use? If you're annoyed by her, you should be furious with him.

Fondantginger · 30/10/2022 20:11

Solidarity OP. I had a situation like this years ago - me and I’ve other female flatmate, but boyfriend there most days/nights. Wouldn’t speak to me. Even stayed there when she was away for the weekend - but wouldn’t leave the bedroom unless I left the flat (found this out one day when I left to get something from my car). Would spend weekends in my flat aware of his presence in the bedroom - it was horrible.
Spoke to flatmate several times and she couldn’t see the issue. Apparently he didn’t like me so that was the problem - eh, you’re in my house pal, stay elsewhere if you don’t like me!
Eventually I gave my notice to the landlord. Explained my reasons, landlord was horrified and said I shouldn’t have to put up with that. She told me to stay put and instead gave my flatmate her notice to leave….

So hopefully your landlord is a good one and can help.

This thread has just inspired me to look her up on Facebook - seems they are still together and he still appears to be a freeloader 🙄

Crimeismymiddlename · 30/10/2022 20:16

You have a housemate problem. He has told her it’s fine for her to move in-which is exactly what she has done. You won’t get a penny out of her and the only way to get out of it is to move out.
This happened to me years ago but luckily, although the housemate was a tight bastard who claimed his rent for the room was enough she was decent enough to put her share on the metre and chip in for household things.

Gilmorehill · 30/10/2022 20:19

I agree check your tenancy agreement. I’m a landlord and I’d be really annoyed about this. We meet our tenants before we let to them and want to make sure they seem to be the kind of people who will respect the house. What if the gf breaks something? It will come out of your deposit if you say nothing.

Yabado · 30/10/2022 20:31

Look up what the rules are for HMO in your area as they can be different from council to council
in my city I don’t think you can’t have more than 3 people who aren’t related sharing a house unless it’s a HMO

Your landlord could get a huge fine if it’s now a HMO due to this extra person

it’s why renting is difficult for single people and groups of friends as lots of landlords don’t want the hassle and paperwork and cost of a HMO

My son has a lodger and in the lodger contract ( different to an AST ) he added overnights guest are allowed once a week but not to be left alone in the property at any time .
it’s easier with lodgers as the landlord ( my son ) lives in the property and lodgers don’t have as many rights

But his lodger was absolutely fine with this

Haffiana · 30/10/2022 20:42

So basically people who rent are not allowed to have partners?

Saracen · 30/10/2022 20:44

Are you in the UK? If so, you are already living in an HMO even without the unwanted visitor. A house shared by at least three people, not all of whom constitute a single household, is an HMO. This is true in all countries of the UK.

In an HMO, the landlord would normally pay the utility bills. If you have some other arrangement, it may well be that your landlord is breaking the law. That complicates matters, probably in your favour.

KatherineJaneway · 30/10/2022 20:45

I’ll sometimes be in the kitchen and as soon as I walk back to my room and close the door I’ll hear theirs opening.

The walk straight back out as soon as you hear her move

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2022 20:45

So basically people who rent are not allowed to have partners?
They can.
They just can't move their new girlfriend/boyfriend into an existing house share by stealth, freeload off the other housemates, and take the mick with the neighbours' parking.

Riverlee · 30/10/2022 20:47

If you start charging, you may be breaking any sub-letting rules. Also, she could then argue that, as she is paying, she can legitimately use the car parking space, kitchen, facilities etc.

Shes moved pretty quickly if she’s only been with flatmate for two months, literally a matter of weeks. Where was she living before? A female cocklodger!

Gilmorehill · 30/10/2022 20:49

Haffiana · 30/10/2022 20:42

So basically people who rent are not allowed to have partners?

Of course they are but when that partner spends so much time in the property, they are effectively living there, they need to start paying their way. There’s nothing controversial about that.