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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want my housemate’s girlfriend to pay for basically living in our house?

226 replies

summerclocks · 30/10/2022 14:05

I live in a shared house with 3 other people. One of them has got a new girlfriend who basically lives in our house now. They have been together for about two months and she spends at least 5-6 days a week in our house.

We really didn’t have an issue with this but she’s starting to become a problem. The house has 3 allocated parking spaces for the 3 people in our house with cars. She always parks in whatever space is empty when she comes around, not just her boyfriend’s but also mine or my other housemates. I work until late and it’s very annoying to have to come home to fight for my parking space. When none of our spaces are available she takes up our neighbours! We have asked her to stop but she doesn’t.

She is very careless with her use of water and electricity when she’s around. She works from home so when her bf is out she’ll stay here all day like it’s her house, has up to 2 baths a day and usually uses the oven for meals and leaves all lights on. She does all her washing here and even has friends over when her bf is not around like this is her house.

We have a smart meter and have definitely seen an increase in our electricity and gas use since she started living here. It is very frustrating that she’s almost moved in and having all this for free.

I am just exhausted of having to put up with someone that doesn’t even live here or even contributes to this house yet causes all of our problems!

OP posts:
billy1966 · 30/10/2022 16:17

summerclocks · 30/10/2022 14:53

@ThereIbledit

I haven’t checked our tenancy agreement because I hadn’t really though if it. I’m searching for to right now. All of my other housemates are quite upset about it too but they are a bit less confrontational people. They’ll tell her off for little things like leaving lights on but other times they just accept it. If she parks in their space they’ll just go and park somewhere else.

I have personally asked her to move out of my space when I need it and also the few times the neighbours have come knocking on our door to complain. We used to have a very good relationship with them which is obviously deteriorating as I guess they think we’re allowing this to happen

Contact the landlord asap.

You don't need your agreement.

You have a new stranger living in the house, pissing you AND the neighbours off.

This is a landlord problem.

Your belongings are not safe with this person in the house.

Best case scenario is the CF housemate is asked to leave and that the landlord deducts the extra utilities from his deposit.

I wouldn't tolerate this for a second.

Your landlord should act quickly as the neighbours are also pissed off.

Ibwould not be paying the increase in utilities either.

StaunchMomma · 30/10/2022 16:18

I am just exhausted of having to put up with someone that doesn’t even live here or even contributes to this house yet causes all of our problems!

You don't HAVE to put up with it at all though, do you?! If the rest of the housemates are going to act like doormats then she's not going to stop.

If I were you I'd be pressing the landlord to kick him out.

lechatnoir · 30/10/2022 16:19

Time to stop pussyfooting around. I actually don't think it's her you need to confront it's your flatmate who is allowing it. Knock on his door and keep knocking until he bloody answers - if he appears when you go in your room, go back out!!! Call a house meeting and tell him the groundrules:
She absolutely cannot be in the house when he is not
No parking in your or neighbours spaces
Post addressed to her will be sent back to sender
If she has a key it needs to be returned

I think if you can get them to stick to that, annoying as she might be, you can't stop him having guests to stay and she at least isn't in your house alone or using your parking which sound like the biggest issues . Definitely don't renew the tenancy if she's still on the scene.

billy1966 · 30/10/2022 16:20

I mean the landlord is allowing this to continue once he is informed about it.

Should anything go missing in the house because this person has been allowed to stay, you have every right to go back to the landlord with it.

She knows bloody well what she is doing washing and showering multiple times a day at your cost.

brunkkeysshipisorange · 30/10/2022 16:21

This would drive me nuts!

House meeting time?

Maytodecember · 30/10/2022 16:21

Another thought —- if you charge her you could technically be subletting and landlords don’t like that so I think you have to say to b/f she can stay over one night a week but should not be in the property when he’s not there.

Daleksatemyshed · 30/10/2022 16:22

They're both Cf's Op, her for thinking she can live for free and him for trying to say her being there doesn't cost anymore money. Contact your Landlords asap and get them to tell the pair of them that this isn't happening. Everyone needs to pay their way in life. If you have to fall out with them, so be it.

SmileyClare · 30/10/2022 16:22

Money issues aside, I couldn’t live in that atmosphere! 😮

Cheeseandlobster · 30/10/2022 16:22

Wow. Definitely escalate to the landlord. She has some front

kingtamponthefurred · 30/10/2022 16:22

She has effectively moved in. If you can't resolve it with her partner, you need to grass him up to the landlord.

girlmom21 · 30/10/2022 16:22

Maytodecember · 30/10/2022 16:21

Another thought —- if you charge her you could technically be subletting and landlords don’t like that so I think you have to say to b/f she can stay over one night a week but should not be in the property when he’s not there.

That's a good point. Don't charge her without notifying the landlord and getting their permission.

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 30/10/2022 16:22

I would speak directly to the landlord. It's absolutely shocking that she's doing this. The tenant needs to leave and get a flat with his girlfriend. I wouldn't accept anything less than that. There's no point him saying she won't stay because you know she has nowhere else to stay now.

Fladdermus · 30/10/2022 16:23

Your house is now an unlicensed HMO and your landlord could get an unlimited fine as a result. You landlord needs to be informed ASAP.

emptythelitterbox · 30/10/2022 16:25

Tell the landlord.

Tell the roommate you don't want her living there. If he continues to ignore you both, give him an eviction notice.

Iateallthechocolate · 30/10/2022 16:26

Move out and take the good housemates with you. In the meantime take a week off work and play loud music while she's wfh. Don't flush any of the loos, and fill the machines with your laundry. Change the WiFi password to Penny is a freeloader. Put all your fruit in the oven and shout don't touch my food if she tries to move it. Get a big slobbery dog. Invite strangers in for the day, put a sign saying bathroom on the room she works in so she's constantly interrupted.

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2022 16:27

Escalate the issue to your landlord, and if you were previously on good terms with the neighbours could you have a chat with them, explain that you are fighting this and raising it with the landlord. Your neighbours might also be willing to contact your landlord to raise concerns regarding parking and the additional person causing an issue for them

Your issue should be mainly directed at the flatmate who is allowing it and moving their girlfriend in by stealth.

Charlize43 · 30/10/2022 16:27

She is a CF and she knows that she is getting it all for free so is making sure she gets as much as possible out of the situation. A freeloader!

Darbs76 · 30/10/2022 16:28

Well she needs to contribute towards the costs, or the boyfriend needs to pay more

BuryingAcorns · 30/10/2022 16:28

Why is he not spending half his time at her flat? If her place is not as pleasant then effectively she has moved in with you and needs to pay her way. If it is as nice, then if he spenbds 50% of time at hers, and she spends 50% of time at yours the bills should even out.

ivykaty44 · 30/10/2022 16:30

I’ll sometimes be in the kitchen and as soon as I walk back to my room and close the door I’ll hear theirs opening.

Oh that would have me walking up to the door and opening and shutting it and staying in the hall - so when she comes out, `I there ready to pounce

blippi123 · 30/10/2022 16:35

I'd speak to the company/person that you have the tenancy agreement with

She shouldn't be living there if she's not on the tenancy

PinkFrogss · 30/10/2022 16:35

You don’t need your tenancy agreement to contact the landlord, they won’t be happy about the situation as it’s additional wear and tear they’ll have to pay for

Jux · 30/10/2022 16:36

ivykaty44 · 30/10/2022 16:30

I’ll sometimes be in the kitchen and as soon as I walk back to my room and close the door I’ll hear theirs opening.

Oh that would have me walking up to the door and opening and shutting it and staying in the hall - so when she comes out, `I there ready to pounce

Definitely do that. I've done it and it can be quite effective.

ScarlettnotOHara · 30/10/2022 16:37

Tell the landlord !

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 30/10/2022 16:37

ivykaty44 · 30/10/2022 16:30

I’ll sometimes be in the kitchen and as soon as I walk back to my room and close the door I’ll hear theirs opening.

Oh that would have me walking up to the door and opening and shutting it and staying in the hall - so when she comes out, `I there ready to pounce

Yep i would do this too. I would also check the tenancy and speak to the landlord. They're both CFs

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