Am I stingy? Boyfriend says i am?

[llpoolj]

My boyfriend lives with me.
He earns £700 more than me a month.
He is always "skint"
He said he needed £20 for his phone.
So I said "il take it out of my savings account,just give me it on Monday when you get paid"
So then today he borrows another £10 and says so that's £310 I owe you Monday (£300 half of rent and bills )
I say no £330 ...£20 for phone too
He said "really ,your going to take that off me"
"I only topped up because you wanted me too"
(He didn't -he told me he needed to top up"
So he says "you know I would give you my last"
I said I buy you so much
I spent £10 buying him McDonald's today,I bought the food all week
I spent £170 last week on concert tickets for his birthday -then 2 hoodies for his birthday.
I reminded him of this and he says "no you can't class the tickets for my birthday -you wanted to go too"
I also bought us Xmas pjs for £30 two days ago

So how does he have the audacity to say I'm tight?
I just wanted it back to in my savings.
I'm feeling shitty and horrible now
I'm honestly not tight -I just don't want to get the mick took out of me

We go on holiday in two weeks
I've bought the sun tan lotion,after sun,case straps ,case locks ,luggage tags ,case scales,I bought him shorts for holiday and 2 tees and god knows what else

Ask to borrow money back and take it from his tally. You are more within your rights to do this given how he earns more than you. What does he spend that extra £700 a month on? Does he pay for meals out or cinema tickets etc? I would also put your savings out of reach such as a 30 day account or premium bonds.

This

Start making better choices and bin him.

Get out of this relationship fast! He is taking advantage of you and is only calling you tight to get money out of you. He us using you and you are letting him! He should not be expecting you to buy him or pay for anything for him. This guy is a peice of work!

This!…. Tell him from now on you can’t afford to buy him clothes or lend him money. Tel him you’ve put your savings in an ISA & can’t touch it for several years

Get rid. He wont change.

You are obviously not being inreasonable and the fact that you can't see it is shocking. I'd get a refund on those xmas pyjamas and dump his arse but I'm guessing you won't do that. Sometimes I really do despair!

This! 👆

I’ve read enough.Yea you are tight .So you are telling him what you spent on his birthday present, counting up things like price of his burger. Was he with you when you bought the Christmas PJ’s or did you just think , they are lovely and I’ll asks whatshisface for half the money later . How can he be a cocklodger when he’s paying his half every month. You’re a bit to whiny for me so it’s you that needs dumped sweetpea!

‘too’

@Autumn61 he earns more than her but they still split bills 50:50. Looks like she pays food shopping when that should be split. All the ‘extras’ she is buying will add up- ( those extras where you accuse her of being ‘tight’) so if she already earns £700 a month less that makes a difference. Sounds like she is over responsible rather than tight and just buys stuff as she is naturally generous whereas he stands buy and let’s that happen.

OP I’d stop buying these extras like holiday clothes. Stand back a bit with other stuff and don’t offer to pay eg burgers - he should be managing his own money better so he still has some left by pay day. He can’t spend what he doesn’t have. You are not his overdraft facility.

He's taking the mick.

He's realising by calling your stingy, you're likely to give him even more of your money to facilitate him.

Actually say to him:right this month how much money have you paid out on us??
Dobt let him deflect /gaslight you....
I'd actually ask him to note it down.
Then present your list from your pocket.

Point out :
The massive inequality.
The offensive name calling.

So what is he using all his extra income for??
Presumably you're facilitating his savings(that you can't access) or his hobbies? Neither is good.

But these sort of scroungers will no doubt have benefit of the sun lotion /after sun /luggage.

Remember a long ago ex pal who popped into see me as I was packing... Saying... Oh that's good you've got sun cream /posh shower gel /perfume.... 'Saves me buying any'..... I thought she was joking....

She wasn't.

Yes you can win!! Dump this gaslighting taker. Move on. Seriously he has all this extra money and has you running about spending all you have on him!! While he insults you and makes you feel like crap.
You. Can. Do. Better.

Respect yourself and dump his mean arse. You're literally wasting your life savings on him. I've been in your situation - you'll never be right, you'll never get a thank you and you'll never see your money again. A real partner would never speak to you like this or treat you like his personal piggy bank.